whats the best that wing chun has ever done?
shown the world that 2 masters fighting really can look like a jacki chan movie. a really really bad jacki chan movie. one where hes retarded and beats up crippled kids.
good GDA!!!
I’m laughing.
so far, tai chi joke is the best.
yeah i like my wing chun joke, but david’s tai chi joke definately chokes it out.
Please let me try one!
Sandy came by Irving’s porch all bruised up. Irving asked, “What in the world
happened to you?”
Sandy replied, “I stopped by this Tae Kwon Do school that promised me a 5rd degree Black Belt in one day for $1500.00. The Master told me that he only takes cash up front and that I would have to put on eyeblinds as a form of initiation.”
Irving asked, “And?”
Sandy replied, “I was anxious. I got the funds and paid the Master. He then put the eyeblinds on me and began pulling me by the arm. I thought he was taking me to a park for a special swearing in ceremony. We walked for ten minutes. Then we both came to a stop. He let go of my arm and then I heard the sound of glass shattering, followed by the sound of steps beating away from me. A voice inside told me to keep those blinds on but I did not listen. When I took them off, I found myself standing in front a window with a hole broken in it. The sign above read Big Leroy’s Soul Food and Fish n Chips…”
Another mickey original!
Once upon a time, in Taipei Taiwan.
Student A has been practicing under the teacher A.
Student B has been practicing under the teacher B.
One day, student A saw how student B practiced and said that you did everything wrong. It is a joke.
Student B was all upset and went to talk to his teacher and asked why.
Teacher B said.
A dog does not know how a cat fights.
A cat does not know how a dog fights.
We may not teach the dog to fight like a cat.
We may not teach the cat to fight like a dog.
Student B said Hunh?
I came by and said;
When we see somebody is doing something differently or not exactly the same way we do things.
We ask first why? may be there is a good reason for the difference.
The main thing is that do not judge too quickly just because people are doing things differently from our own.
why did the traditional martial artist cross the road?
to get the the mma school.
Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling
event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for
the gold medal. Before the final match, the American
wrestler’s trainer came to him and said, “Now don’t forget
all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost
a match because of this “pretzel” hold he has. Whatever you
do, don’t let him get you in this hold! If he does, you’re
finished!”
The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match: The
American and the Russian circled each other several times
looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged
forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the
dreaded pretzel hold!
A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the
trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was
lost. He couldn’t watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a horrible scream, and a resounding cheer
from the crowd. The trainer raised his eye just in time to
see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian’s back hit
the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top
of him, getting the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American
wrestler alone, he asks, “How did you ever get out of that
hold? No one has ever done it before!”
The wrestler answered, “Well, I was ready to give up when he
got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes
and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I
thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of
strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as
hard as I could. You’d be amazed how strong you get when you
bite your own balls!”
I swear. Some of you guys are as funny as an empty care package. 
wong fei hong that is he funniest one so far really made me laugh alot anyone can find that funny to thats what i like.
I thought that it was a headbutt to the groin. or Iron head/ Tei Tou Gong.
Biting is not allowed. I think.
GDA,
That was a really good one! Nice twist at the end.
mickey
the american bites his own balls because his head is near them from being pretzeled. the pain from biting his own balls gives him the strength to get free…
Ouch.
:eek:
ya, lol.
i think i would just take the loss.
Without derailing the thread too much.
There was a monkey king borne out of a rock. His name was Sun Wu Kong. The last name was Sun. Wu Kong was a buddhist name meaning understanding emptiness.
He jumped a thousand miles, saw as far as the horizon and was able to ride the cloud and the mist.
He used the giant pole or Ding Hai Shen Zhen or stablization needle for the east China sea as a weapon.
He was undefeated by all the heavenly army from emperor Jade.
However, no matter how hard he tried. He could not escape the Buddha palm.
Meaning that no matter how fast your kicking feet and punching fists; no matter how fast or how strong you are.
We are all within the bounds of reasons or Li or truth Zhen Li.
The force of nature or being right, following the way/dao of the nature or truth is way greater than our physical force with feet and fists.
–
Everyone is all excited about Brazilian Jiu-Jutsu, thinking that it’s practically undefeatable.
But Spanish Judo is deadlier still.
“What’s Spanish Judo?” you ask?
Judo know if I got a gun,
Judo know if I got a knife,
judo know if I got a machete…
what’s judo?
it’s what they make bagels out of!
two guys, one, an ex-marine, the other a patch holder, are sitting at a bar, drinking, and they get into an argument.
The one guy gets up, puts his hands up in knife-hand position and yells,
“Haaaaiiii-Yaaaaa! Karotty! Okinawa!”
The biker whips out a ballpien hammer from his belt,cracks him over the head, knocking him out, turns around back to his beer and says,
“Hammer. Sears & Roebuck”
How many Hung-Ga guys does it take to put in a lightbulb?
Four-one to screw it in, and the others to say, “That’s pretty good. We do it a little different”
How many Wing Chun guys does it take?
Four-one to screw it in, the others to say, “Your method is actually a modified way of screwing it it. We have the original method, which is far superior, because we stand like this when we turn it, and…”
How many CLF guys does it take?
ten, one to screw it in, eight to admit that although they all do it slightly different, it is still screwing in a lightbulb, and they are all electrician brothers, and one to say, 'Nooo, you guys are all doing it wrong because you don’t recognize my legend of the first guy to actually invent the lightbulb before Edison, was actually Tesla, and Edison took credit as being the founder…"
How many new age Tai-Chi guys does it take?
None. It’s not really about screwing in the bulb, because the very action of screwing like movements opens up the meridians, and activates the ch’i , which will bring enlightenment, in which case the bulb is no longer neccesary.
How many ninjas does it take?
None. We will wait…in the dark…ready to strike
and Ric has pulled ahead of David and GDA in the MA joke race.