…which is funny because you would have figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it.
Goodnight ladies and gentlemen, and please enjoy the buffet.
Q - How do you get a Kung Fu guy off of your front porch ?
A - Pay for the pizza.
Q - What’s worse than telling jokes about karate guys?
A - Laughing at 'em.
drumroll
am i the only one who doesn’t get the first one:confused:
how many kungfu guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
none. the actual replacing of the lightbulb would pale in comparison to the argument on how each kungfu guy would do it better and more deadly than the next.
[QUOTE=street_fighter;779446]am i the only one who doesn’t get the first one:confused:[/QUOTE]
bar as in metal pole sticking out of the ground.
Four aikido guys walk into a bar, but there’s only one stool…
Q - What do you say to a MMA in a 3-piece suit ?
A - “Will the defendant please rise …”
Two guys were walking down the street, One was destitute, the other was a Muay Thai fighter as well.
Q - What do you call a kickboxer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
A - Homeless.
A visiting Karateka wanders into a back alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.“Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” Says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.”“You can keep the story, old man,” He replies, “But I’ll take the rat.”
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.
By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop."Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," Says the owner.
"No," says the karateka, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Rorian."
Q - Why don’t TKD fighters ever catch a cold?
A - Even a virus has some pride.
what’s the difference between a bowling ball and a feMALE MMA fighter?
if you had to, you could probably eat the bowling ball.
[QUOTE=rogue;779497]Q - What do you say to a MMA in a 3-piece suit ?
A - “Will the defendant please rise …”[/QUOTE]
…ouch.
A Shaolin Do guy walks into a library and says: “Hi I’ll have a burger,fries, and a large coke.” The librarian responds: Sshhhh…do you know where you are? This is a library!" The Shaolin Do guy, sheepishly, and in a whisper says: “Sorry…I’ll have a burger, fries and a large coke.”
Two girls are walking along when they hear… “Psst! Down here!” They both look down and see a frog sitting beside the road. The frog says to them, “Hey, if you kiss me I’ll turn into a world famous kickboxer and make you both rich and famous!” The two girls looked at each other, and one of them reached down and grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket. The other girl said, “What did you do that for?” The first replied, “I’m not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous kickboxer any day!!!”
-
Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, “I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar, I’m such a good salesman.” The other replies, “You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the guys.” “Ok,” says the first, “you’re on.”
The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to them and tells the first salesman, “Here, this one.” This first subject is dressed in a three-piece suit and is carrying Wall Street Week. The salesman asks him, “What’s your I.Q.?” “190.” So they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean geometry.
“Ok,” says the other salesman, “That was pretty good, but you still have two to go.” He looks around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The salesman asks him “What’s you’re I.Q.?” “About 100.” So THEY chat for a while about baseball, cars, and the various women in the bar.
“Fine,” says the other salesman, “But there’s still one to go.” He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a guy in a muscle shirt and shorts. The salesman asks him “What’s your I.Q.?” “About 60.” “You prefer gi or no gi?”
A customer goes into a deli and asks for some martial artist’s brains for an exotic dish. “Certainly. What sort would you like?” Says the assistant “I don’t know - how much do they cost?” “Well” says the assistant “We have karateka’ brains at $5 for 25gms, tai chi players’ at $10, and BJJ brains at $25.” The assistant then turns to a padlocked fridge and says, “And in there we have judoka’ brains at $150 for 25gms”. “Wow!” exclaims the customer, “why are judoka’ brains so expensive?” “Do you know how many judoka’s it takes to get 25gms!?”
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and --WHACK!!-- knocks him right off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, “That was a kung fu chop from China.” The little guy thinks “GEEZ,” but he gets back up on the stool and continues what he was doing when all of a sudden-WHACK!!-- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, “That was a karate chop from Japan.” The little guy, not wanting any trouble,and thinking this guy is nuts, gets up off the floor, grabs his beer and moves a few seats further down the bar, and continues to sip at his beer. All of a sudden, --WHACK!!-- without warning, he feels this foot kick him upside the head and he goes sprawling to the floor once again. The big dude says with a smile, “That’s kickboxing from Thailand.” The little guy, having had enough of this gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. He had been gone for about an hour when he returned, and without saying a word, walks up behind the big dude and-WHACK!!!-- knocks the big dude off his stool and lays him out cold! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, “When he comes to, tell him that’s a crowbar from Sears.”