I know they have been done but …lets do them again.
So I walk into the local corner store to pick up the latest issue of KUNG FU QIGONG (Gene should like that) I get to the counter and the clerk asks 'do you study Kung Fu" , I reply “yes”, he says “I do too”, now this guy behind the counter, who looks Chinese, starts telling me that he has trained for a couple years, and ask’s me what do I study, I tell him Praying Mantis, he looks at me like im crazy, I ask him if he has ever heard of it, he tells me that he has not, now im starting to get confused, I say you study kung fu and have never heard of Praying Mantis, again “no I have not” so I explain a little about the system, I also ask him what style of Kung Fu he practices, his reply was…Tae Kwon Do.;
Go figure? Any other stories? I have another but i will post it when i get home.
There was a whack of us gung fu sorts at a fast eats joint when one of my younger gung fu brothers gets up and strolls to the john. Seeing that the opportunity arose so…easily…how might I resist?? So I grab the straw of his strawberry milkshake and fill it full of ketchup and stick it back into the cup.
Everybody is snickering and my even-spirited fellow sits himself back down and I start into a conversation immediately with him. He jawbones a bit, then grabs his drink and starts sucking on the straw…then a little harder…he looks at the straw and really starts sucking in earnest…whack! Man, did he look surprised. We all started busting a gut as he’s sputtering. I look around the restaurant and everybody was laughing.
And to this day..the dudes still a friend. I won’t tell ya how he got me back But oh how I got him back one summer…
When I was learning Shaolin we used to punch and kick at candle flames to extinguish them (builds speed, control, etc). I found some trick candles that supposedly you could not blow out. I lit it and asked Sifu to demonstrate. He kicked and it went out! Thinking fast, I said “Now watch this”. I did a front snap and the candle RE-LIT from the fanning effect! To this day he thinks I can kick so fast I can light candles!
I was doing a demo for the girls kickboxing class (with a whole bunch of hotties). Anywho, I did jump front kick to a horse stance and tore my skivies, which was actually pretty loud in a quiet room with 30 or so people watching. I think only about 6 of them know or heard what it was that made that sound (someone asked if I ripped them and I conceded only to find out they confirmed others who had asked).
We were in class in horse stance doing some breathing exercises, there were about 20-30 people in a perfectly silent room and the guy in front breaks wind… loudly - after that I lose concentration and have to struggle not to break out laughing!
and we were all sitting down watching the newbies getting tested in to their new belt rank. this guy was proud as a peac0ck doing his form and he throws a high round house kick and
" BRRRAPP RRRONK" man what a F@rt that was. we put our heads between our kness and struggled to not laugh,many many bodies bobbin from the internal laughter. this guy had the look of ultimate despair on his face. he later quit the school.
Originally posted by yenhoi One time, in Kung-fu camp, I shoved a flute up my *****.
Talking with my co-woker one night he starts telling me how when he was young he used to train, doing Karate, then right there in the middle of the office he starts throwing Karate/Kempo style punches and kicks, i ask him what level did he train up to, he tells me that he never went for ranking, because if he did then he would have to register his hands as lethal wepons, as he posed in the Karate Kid Crane stance in the middle of the room.
I was once teaching a class of mostly teenage boys, when one cut loose with a resounding fart. After the laughter had died away I proceeded to tell the class that they should excuse themselves if they need to fart - it was just considerate. Just as I finished saying this, I coughed and a fart slipped out with the cough. Talk about embarrassing
We had just got through training one night, and I was talking to this girl that was in the class - yes, she was hot. Some guys came around and started looking at her and calling to her, and she ignored them, then whispered to me to act like I was her man. we started talking and making gestures like we were flirting, and I think to myself “wtf? I may never get this chance again” and I laid a kiss on her… she kissed back! I started to have fun with it all, so I grab one of her legs and raise it, like I’m gonna put her on the hood of her car and do her right there. We look out the corner our eyes, and the guys were like :eek: :eek: after they got enough, they walked off, and the two of us just laughed our arses off.
When I was in high school, I was leaving football practice, and I heard a lot of commotion by one of the buildings. I go to check it out, and I see these little kids (probably like 4th graders) throwing rocks at a high school aged kid that took one of their bikes. I told him to give the bike back, and he said “what’s it matter to you?” so I told him that the boy whose bike he stole was my brother. the kid looked at me, then goes “yeah, that’s my brother, and he’ll kick your tail!” the guy had a stick, but I could tell he was scary. I took my shirt off, made my chest jump and flexed. he jumped back and broke the stick over his knee and said “now I have two sticks, what you got?” I walked towards him, and he dropped the sticks and ran.
Actually once I was doing sit ups with a partner (first lesson at a different branch of my school) you know when you lock legs and do them together, anyway half way through I let a really loud one rip, luckily he found it as funy as I did but needless to say I couldn’t do anymore situps as I was laughing.
This isn’t really funny but when I was younger I fought with this kid. I kicked his lower leg and he fell to the ground, after a minute or 2 he got back up, I did not keep hitting him on the ground since t was your typical kid fight. Anyways, after he got up I nailed his plex and he doubled over and went off in a corner and cried for about 30 minutes. I actually felt sorry for him for some reason. After he stopped crying he came back to fight me again, I did not want to keep fighting mostly because his three bigger brothers followed us around. He swung at me three times and each time I threw my hand up to block and then nailed him again in the same spot. The funnies part is that like thee months later he said he beat me up.
About a year or so after I started MA we had new guy that had been there for a few months. I was better than he was. We were sparring medium contact and he came in and did a front snap kick as hard as he could, it did not knock me down or even knock the breath out of me, we had chest protectors on, this was in my TKD days before Kung Fu. So anyways this really ****ed me off because he totaly broke the pace we were going at and tried
so I got really mad. We started sparring again so I let off a hard side kick, it did the job I knocked him over instantly but the only problem is I lost balance and fell over too, it was embarassing but at least I kicked the shet out of him. I did learn not to over extend myself.
But oh how I got him back one summer…
