What are bagels made out of?..judo ( get it jew dough).
how looks effective selfdefense against a knife attack ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdbvC8T4pIM
sometimes I understand peeps such as Knifefighter…
[QUOTE=Laukarbo;779588]how looks effective selfdefense against a knife attack ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdbvC8T4pIM
sometimes I understand peeps such as Knifefighter…[/QUOTE]
Gott in Himmel.. what the heck was that?
No wonder people laugh at supposed “martial artists”. That sort of crap ought to be outlawed.
Master Killer, Gene and 7* are on their way to a challenge match, when all three are killed in an auto accident. Being good boys they all go to heaven, where they are met by St. Peter.
St. Peter says: "Welcome boys glad you made it, but I want you to know that there are rules here in heaven. The main one is Don't Step On A Duck, because if you do you will be punished because they make such a noise."
Master Killer was trying to avoid all of the ducks, which were everywhere, but before 5 minutes passed, sure enough he stepped on a duck. What a noise! St. Peter comes with a truly ugly woman. "You stepped on a duck, you will be chained with this ugly woman forever as punishment."
Gene lasted a little longer, but he, too, stepped on a duck. St. Peter came with even a more ugly woman, they were chained together forever.
7* he was very careful and missed all of the ducks. St. Peter came with the most beautiful woman you ever saw and said: “you two will be chained forever and ever.” After St. Peter left 7* said, “I don’t know what I did to deserve this good luck.” The beautiful woman said: “I don’t know what you did either, but I stepped on a duck!”
hehe.
Rogue…
…you’re a rogue.
[QUOTE=Laukarbo;779588]how looks effective selfdefense against a knife attack ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdbvC8T4pIM
sometimes I understand peeps such as Knifefighter…[/QUOTE]I think I’ve read about such things before. I think the rationale is that the movements are practiced but without the danger of making contact with the weapon. I can’t believe that anyone would think there is any merit in this kind of training.
I agree; if you are doing a demo without making controlled contact at the very least, you aren’t really demonstrating much…:rolleyes:
The knife training I’ve gotten in kung fu usually involved rubber or wood practice knives, because it was contact. Sifu let use use unsharpened metal knives once to demonstraite why we needed to move very quickly… But he was the one attacking with it, as he had the best control. And most of use went home with small nicks and cuts for not blocking fast enough.:o
I got to watch 2 SIs (Both now black belts) do a 2 person staff form. Both brough several staves to work with and neither used thier favorite staff, because chances were good that at least one staff was going to get broke.
more jokes
keep with the jokes this is a great thread I’m laughing my ass off…
why did the farmer cross the road?
his d*ck was caught in a chicken.
Two Shaolin do guys were arguing over lineage one day when all of a sudden the ghost of su kong appeared before them and said “…” Oh wait i forgot SD guys dont argue over lineage.
I know it was stupid,,,Peace, TWS:p
(caveat: this is more of a visual joke, but it might work in text only)
q: how do you get an MMA guy to spill his protein shake?
a: ask him what time it is
Im Not going to say a thing here…
and let the Video work its magic on all of you,
http://www.break.com/index/frustrated-video-dater-loses-his-cool.html
Peace,TWS
[QUOTE=Shaolinlueb;779714]why did the farmer cross the road?
his d*ck was caught in a chicken.[/QUOTE]
I like it but all jokes must be about martial arts.
Oh my
[QUOTE=The Willow Sword;779839]and let the Video work its magic on all of you,
http://www.break.com/index/frustrated-video-dater-loses-his-cool.html
Oh my head!!! That was incredible. But I do feel sorry for the po boy! Anyway yeah let’s get back to the MA jokes. I need to laugh today!
stolen off the net
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a big guy in a judo gi with a worn black belt who has cauliflower ears and looks like he’s been around the block a few times.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?”
The guy replies, “I’m Joe Johnson, Judo competitor and national champion for 17 years.”
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the Judo competitor, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
The Judo man goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it’s the minister’s turn. He stands erect and booms out, “I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary’s for the last forty-three years.”
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
“Just a minute,” says the minister. “That Judo man gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be when I have been preaching the gospel all my life?”
“Up here, we work by results,” says Saint Peter. “While you preached, people slept; but when he entered the dojo, people prayed.”
[QUOTE=rogue;779840]I like it but all jokes must be about martial arts. [/QUOTE]
um why did the mma fan cross the road and get hit by a car?
he saw um,… a kung fu school across the street and had to um… sh*t all over it.
The best BJJ I got was from my stuttering girlfriend.
LOtooL! That should have a NSFW tag!
Why did the kung fu challenge fighter cross the road?
He was a chicken.
[/tumbleweed]
[QUOTE=Yum Cha;780146]The best BJJ I got was from my stuttering girlfriend.[/QUOTE]
LOL 5 minutes straight!!!(remind me not to drink anything while reading these. I laughed so hard I spit all over my keyboard.)
bear with me, its original!
Masterkiller, Sevenstar and Pangquan all die in a horrible ferris wheel accident.
For some unknown reason they all find themselves in hell, being interviewed by the Devil.
Being a sporting chap the devil tells the men the have one opportunity to escape an eternity of torture and torment.
Knowning each mans fondness of the martial arts he tells each that if they can come up with a martial feat that the devil cannot complete he will let them go back to earth.
Pangquan being the ego airhead he is challenges the devil to a striking only Kumite match intent on using “deadly force”. The devil of course having the L33T skills KO’s Pangquan in 00.02 with a fliying sidekick!
Sevenstar, himself having the L33t Skills, challenges the devil to try and take him down. The devil, having even more L33t skills than Seven does, shoots his ass so hard, Sevenstar finds himself lying in the bottom of an ELEVATOR shaft with the devil in mount!
MK, with both guys doomed to an eternity of hell, realizes the devil is one crafty dude. Meditating, and building his vast amount of Qi reserve, MK is trying to figure out something that will work. Just then in the stress of meditative qi cultivation, he lets a huge qi infused gas ball rip!
“Catch that and Grapple it” he yells!