I think I might print out this thread to present to him when we are done. I have to be careful though to not, tell him he’s wrong, or other wise insult or threaten him. If I put him on the defensive he’ll be less willing to listen.
the truth is competing can boost your ego or not. it can also destroy your ego or not. it depends on the person. i can win in a competition and walk away the same as i walked in. i can lose and have it never effect my ego. this is bc i am only competing against me. i like being judged on my forms bc it is like a concrete number to show that my techniques are firm. that i do things like stepping and power generation properly. its hard to fairly judge yourself. as for competing with fighting its still me against me. i am just testing my speed, my blocking, my ability to find angles in a pinch, my ability to strike effectively, etc. however, i have seen plenty of ppl win sparring or forms and walk away talking trash about how great they are. i have seen ppl lose fights or do poorly on forms and are so crushed they think of quitting. ppl like this, whose self opinions and opinions of their personal progress, entirely hinge on winning or losing will have the ego problems your “friend” is talking about. and maybe he is one of them. in which case maybe he is right for himself and shouldnt compete. i don’t think it is fair for him to try to impose his opinion on anyone else though.
regards,
~steve (BruceSteveRoy)
This statement exactly mirrors my own sentiments on the subject. Thank you for posting it as it not only saves me the trouble, but confirms that I am not the only sane person left in the world.

Competition is a natural human condition. we do it socially, we do it in our families, we do it at work, we do it with our friends. - David Jamieson
I don’t feel that this particular argument would work with this guy. Intellectual and philosophical types tend to think that we must raise our selves above our base animal instincts, and that is what it means to be enlightened, etc.
www.tomiki.org
" What is more, it constantly forces the player to deal with a poor mind set. For the temptation is always there in a tournament–as it is in life–to be fixated upon winning, upon the ego, upon petty and worthless thoughts. As one plays more and more Randori and Shiai, however, one learns to reject these illusions, to become one with the moment, and to enjoy and experience true Aiki. - MightyB
Thanks for the link, I’ll be sure to pass it along.
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Both the winner and loser learn from it. Both are winners in the sense that both profit or gain from it. - SPJ
it shows in a very illuminating way your weak points.
You have the stress of matching up against someone you don’t know and aren’t accustomed to. You have the stress of performing infront of strangers. And unlike in a sparring session at your school your goal is to win so you formulate your game plan to do just that.
If you really want to be good, you have to continually seek out better martial artists to train with and compete against. You have to test yourself. This takes a truly healthy ego because everytime you step on the mat, you risk failure. It takes heart to be able to do that. It’s easy to sit back in your own school with the people you always train with and talk bs. - MightyB
Someone with an ego problem will have an ego problem and in competition, whether they win or lose, they will be sure to protect their fragile ego. These are the sore losers and bad winners.
Good martial training, IMO, will always serve to break down the ego, and with a good attitude, competiton can be a valuable training aid.
It teaches you that no matter how many people you have beaten, there is still someone out there who is better than you are. Competition actually keeps the ego in check.
Another benefit is the opportunity to test yourself and how well you can apply what you have learned. It’s one thing to perform judo and aikido techniques with a cooperative uke in your own dojo. It’s quite another to do it on someone who doesn’t want to be thrown. You can argue that someone who only trains cooperatively doesn’t really know what it’s like to try his technique against resistance, and therefore may not be able to make it work when he’s in an altercation. - Seven Star
All very good points
I think it will be a hard sell to convince him that competition would be beneficial beyond character development, which I believe we have covered pretty well.
Saying it will improve your game is one thing, and something I think we all are of like mind.
What are some specific characteristic It will build in your game that you can’t get else where? Timing, distance, I don’t know…