Well, let’s see. I’m going to get GDA a new six-pack of longnecks. I’m sending Rolls a new bottle of hand lotion and a (unstained) poster of his favorite grappling heros. I also think I’ll send JWT’s weiner dog the address of my closest enemy so it can go hump him to death. I’ll send Stacey the autobiography of Christine Jorgenson and Neal Cameron a punch in the mouth. Watchman gets a new grenade launcher and Jas gets an Epi-Lady. Old Jong will receive a book of tasteless jokes, Kung Lek will get more patience to deal with our juvenile antics and Gene gets my heartfelt thanks for taking the time, trouble and money to keep this board running.
Just wait until I get a new roll of film developed. This last weekend, out at my Mom’s place, my dog separated a Llama from the pack and cornered it against a fence. Clyde was salivating and barking like mad. It seemed that he intended to take down and eat/hump the poor creature. What can I say, he likes em big.
I was pretty amazed that a dog around 8" tall had the predatory instinctual know how to corner a 7’ tall animal.
Unfortunately, the Llama eventually realized that this “wolf” was indeed a 14lb Weiner Dog and, upon realization attempted to stomp Clyde straight to Weiner Dog hell.
This was an obvious turn off to Clyde, as he ran like a tiny brown bullet away. (with his head turned back barking all the way, of course). He then stood under me with his hackles raised barking like mad.
BTW, Clyde is finally a father. 2 male puppies. Almost as soon as the mother had them a Sweedish woman by the name of Lucy Furr (nice rack BTW) showed up out of nowhere and offered me the souls of an entire city if she could use the pups as guard dogs. I don’t have too many needs for the souls of the d@mned anymore, so we settled on one of the dogs for a 6 pack of beer and some beef jerky.
JWT
Congratulations to Clyde!
JWT, your story reminds me of an incident from high school, when I lived in Anchorage AK and had a boxer named Buck.
In the winter, I would take buck for walks in the greenbelt parks that dot Anchorage. He was basically a nice, friendly pup, so I’d let him run free on the trails as I did the crosscountry ski thing. I knew that moose came down from the surrounding mountains in the winter, but they are usually shy and harmless, so I just kept my distance if I saw them, and everything would be fine.
Buck wasn’t quite as sensible.
On one of our walks, he got seperated from me for an unusually long time. I called for him and set off in the direction I had seen him run, and after a while heard him barking offtrail. So, I follow his noise out into the woods. Buck had decided to harass a moose, solo. He was in the midst of a copse of alder trees that were too close together for the moose to get in, and Bullwinkle was pacing in circles around the little stand of trees looking mad. Every few minutes, the moose would get bored and start to leave. First time it happened I though “good, I can go and get my dog now.” So Buck runs out - after the moose. The moose starts chasing, Buck goes back to his sanctuary. Great. After a half an hour or so of this, the wind shifts (or something) and the two of them notice me. Moosie goes off in the other direction, and I guess Buck was feeling cold or something because he decided to come to me instead of chasing the moose.
I never let him off lead on our walks after that.
Can I have another 8 hours in the day please?
budokan is the shiznat.
if only my family would be so practical.
Can I trade up?
Thanks for the thanks, but I’ll take the longnecks. Actually, if I really been nice over naughty, make it Guinness pub drafts!
you better not be talkin about my long necks!
them’s fightin words buddy.
he offered them to me first … they’re mine!
snarls
Don’t I get anything?
Budokan, I am hurt. I would have thought that after standing shoulder to shoulder fighting off the Goktimi and his henchmen I would have gotten something for Christmas - maybe a Daewoo or a dropped pie or something. But no - nothing!
So much for brothers in arms! 
Mark gets nothing from me…
Stop yer bawlin’. I haven’t finished making out my list yet. Here are more:
For Stranger I’m gonna send “Das Kapital” by Karl Marx. I figure he’ll use it to start a nice BBQ fire. For ABandit I’ll send five stuffed goktimi in a cluster fellate that he can mount as a wind vane on his rooftop, and for Martial Joe he’s going to get a free enlistment into the Armed Services (Preferably the Marines). Sifu Able gets a lifetime subscription to “BJJ & Sweaty Man Grappling Magazine” while DrunkenMonkey gets a free intervention from the rest of us. Robin will receive a lovely gift she can use to help stretch her legs apart for those high-flying TKD kicks and Sharkey will receive via airmail a naked photo of that hot chick down the hall he wants to bang but never will.
I’m still working on my list. More to come later.
Honeysmacks will get a new sandshark to play with, except this one will actually be a Great White and he’ll be covered in chum as we dip him down into the ocean at the end of a big hook. Yum!
Ralek. and Ralek.. will get another period, but to be honest I won’t have much to do with that–it will happen naturally.
Unity will be allowed last night to meet what he would be if he wasd a hot women attracted to him, plus he’ll have one last chance to bust up on Tom who probably doesn’t deserve it but that’s the way it goes sometimes. Poor Tom.
For my good friend qeySus I’ll give a street corner with a nice street lamp that works since he is, by his own admission, a Ho.
A nice new video camera is on its way to ShaolinTiger00 for the next time he meets Rolls. SevenStar gets a Three Stooges Slap for wanting to change his already cool name into something from a gay comic book. (What was it, ‘WeaponX’ or something like that?)
Aww thanks Budokan.
Don’t forget to send a video camera to reemul and The Willow Sword as well so that they can video their encounter then come back and tell everyone that they ‘respect’ each other now.
Oh, and Unity may want a chance to have another go at the cripple called Kevin too.
I’d like to wish everyone on the forum their choice of the following;
A Merry Christmas
A Chappy Channukah
A Kwaazy Kwaanzaa
A Jolly Diwali
or
A Solemn Dignified Ramadan
(with thanks to Herschel Krustofsky)
Budokan, you’re too kind, man. Can I get an eye gouge too?
sweeeeeeeet, this means i’ll be raking it in and be going to US college for SURE!
Festivus?
Doesn’t anybody here celebrate Festivus? It might be good around here, because alot of people would probably feel better after an “airing of grievances”. Nobody sticks up a sturdy pole to look at? Haha, what about wrestling your old man? I know some of you would like that…
anything for me?
GunnedDownAtrocity
OK, I respect someone who’ll defend their brew. I’m clinking my Guinness glass against the computer screen now (and hope you’re doing the same w/your longnecks.) Cheers and best of the season to all. Remember, no drunken style and driving…
sorry Gene
it’s a weeknight, so i have to stick to water. ask the same thing in a couple days and it’ll probably be a glass of hard cider.
Well if we’r going to talk about brew we all know that the only REAL beer is the good’ol danish TUBORG!