Royal Dragon, my roommate came home awhile ago with 10 new pairs of white socks. Mindful of your story, I urged him to just throw them all together in a drawer and let them “pair up” on their own. I envision the sock drawer as a singles club for foot gloves. Anyway, I want to see if this freedom cuts down on the escape rate. I’ll get back to you guys when I get the results of this experiment.
I’m guessing they try and escape. They’re trying to get away from forced marriages, and from being walked on all the time.
i remember i wore this one pair of socks so long without changing them that they started to smell like amonia… then my feet were itching so bad that i had to buy another pair ( i had like no socks back then). other socks of mine have gotten red and blue modly smelling colors on them from sitting in the basket too long then in this other apartment of mine, i became wise to the sock escape tactics and began storing all my dirty socks together in a pile behind the door. no longer were they allowed to mingle with other dirty laundry. of coarse, the sock pile never made it to the laundromat (across the street), the pile just sat there for weeks until the socks turned colors and smelled so i threw them all away. None were able to escape, but rather, they changed so much from their confinement that u would not recognize them from the sock they used to be.
The Lint Theory
Most people don’t realise that socks have a very short life span. As they mature and approach their twilight years, they have a predisposition to disintegrate into the ethereal realm. Even for a sock, life is a cycle. From this ethereal realm, the sock then reincarnates back to its original form: lint.
According to Noted Anthropologist Dr. Dahktor, “I was at home getting ready for work when I tripped and landed square on my back. The force was so great that my glasses jumped off of my head and a big piece of black lint flew out of my belly button! Slowly, I sat up, regained my composure, put back on my glasses and took a closer look at the lint. The rest, is history.”
History, indeed. The interesting characteristic of this lint was that it closely resembled sock fibres. Without hesitating for a second, the good doctor placed the ball of lint on a microscope slide and ran to the office. After further analysis and testing, it seemed to be a prepubescent form of sock! What did it mean? After a few nights of little sleep, the answer that seemed to literally jump off of the page now seemed like the wrong direction all over again. Seeing this as another failure, he discarded the sample. Days passed, but the ball of lint keep returning.
This is not only a biological phenomenon but a sociological one as well. Dr. Dahktor explains: “The sock understands better than anyone that it’s time here on earth is over. For generations, the sock has evolved and developed this instinct to help it secure passage into the next life. We should be so lucky.”
Morbicid, I think such treatment of innocent socks is reprehensible. They enjoy a good bath as much as anyone! 
The reason they couldn’t escape was because they were stuck together with foot funk! (Everyone say Ewww!)
Ming Yue, does this mean socks are stuck in a perpetual cycle of death and rebirth and never have a chance to achieve nirvana? That is so incredibly sad. :(
Yes, socks lead a bleak existence. Except perhaps for the larval lint stage, when they have the opportunity to cling to sweaters and get in bellybuttons and thus see a bit of the world outside the sock drawer.
Of course, hippy-types hang dryer lint outside so the birds can make nests out of it, and that would be the Neverland of socks because the sock larvae - like Peter Pan - would remain in lint stage and never reach adulthood. Plus they get to live outside.
What are you guys talking about? Everyone knows that socks end up missing because the Underwear Gnomes stole them.
Man, some people will believe anything :rolleyes:
Water Dragon, have you ever SEEN an underwear gnome? And if so, WHAT WERE YOU SMOKIN’? 
And you call US gullible!
Look dude, they exist. They come out of the crack in my baseboard at exactly 3:15 in the morning and steal my underwear. Then they go to the dryer and look for socks. The only reason I see them is because I drink so much coffee that I can’t sleep at night. AAAAAGGGHHH!!!
I’m glad I read this page before posting my theory on underwear gnomes. Waterdragon watches southpark.
The socks just want democracy and a place for themselves. The ones that escape are forming a huge underground movement called SUFFER (Sock Underground Fighters For Equal Rights) that will one day rise up and free the oppressed masses. Then they plan to form a sovereign sock state where all socks can live in happiness and harmony, free from the fear of being stepped on.
Don’t take this warning lightly - they have help from the glove movement (UGLI - Underground Glove Liberation Institute).
Well yeah ewallace, but can you explain phase two?
Well, I just figured they thought my butt smelled great, so anything that covered my feet would be a pleasant aroma as well.
EWallace, you are SO not right!!!
WD, why don’t you see if you can trap an underwear gnome? You could hold it for ransom for all the socks and underwear they have stolen over the years!
my socks are always losing their mate as i have to wear three at a time. two for my feet, one for my ginseng boner. in case you were wondering, YES boners get lint jst like the belly button does.
i remember way back in college, like last summer, all my socks were grossly dirty and smelly, so i threw all of them in the bath tub and poured some bleach and detergent in. then i stirred them for a while with the plunger. unfortunately i didnt think ahead enough on how to dry them, and ended up draining the tub and letting them sit there for about a week. since my roomates kept using the shower, the socks never really dried, and they still smelled, so i threw them all away. needless to say, some of those socks probably were stolen by my roomates. think about it, ur in there showering, all naked, and u see some wet socks near your feet. its only natural to put them on and walk out with them. i dont blame them for the theft… but from now on whenever all my socks are dirty i just buy new ones and save myself the frustration. for a very short while i had a girl move in my place and she used to wash my socks. those were the good old days.