The 36 Chambers of the KungFuMagazine.com Forum

In response to my quote of the week and in honor of one of the greatest Shaolin Kung Fu movies ever, please fill in the rest.

Chamber 1: Register at KungFuMagazine.com Forums (random question)
Chamber 2: bawang
Chamber 3:
Chamber 4:
Chamber 5:
Chamber 6:
Chamber 7:
Chamber 8:
Chamber 9:
Chamber 10:
Chamber 11:
Chamber 12:
Chamber 13:
Chamber 14:
Chamber 15:
Chamber 16:
Chamber 17:
Chamber 18:
Chamber 19:
Chamber 20:
Chamber 21:
Chamber 22:
Chamber 23:
Chamber 24:
Chamber 25:
Chamber 26:
Chamber 27:
Chamber 28:
Chamber 29:
Chamber 30:
Chamber 31:
Chamber 32:
Chamber 33:
Chamber 34:
Chamber 35:
Chamber 36: Gene Ching asking “How many times have you read Kung Fu Tai Chi magazine?” and then qi blasting you out of the chamber and on to your ass.

Chamber 3: YouKnowWho - If you can’t out throw him, just say, “right click”. and he will let you pass.

Chamber 4: SPJ - If you cannot surpass his martial world view, sing an emotional Chinese song in a nice feminine falsetto; if you do not know Chinese, sing the word “Mothra” a few times. He will tear up and let you pass.

Chamber 5: Jimbo - Mention a kung fu movie that he has seen and he will tear up and let you pass. Mention a kung fu movie that he hasn’t seen and he will kill you on the spot. He can’t handle that kinda sh!t.

Chamber 6: -N- Just recite the Enter the Dragon banquet scene monologue like his Sifu did and he will rip your eyes out, tear up and let you pass.

[QUOTE=mickey;1251335]Just recite the Enter the Dragon banquet scene monologue like his Sifu did […] [/QUOTE]

LOL, that was classic :slight_smile:

Chamber 7: sanjuro ronin - Just say, “Are you lookin’ at me!!? Are you lookin’ at me???”, a la Deniro and he will not tear up; he will back off to the side and let you pass, realizing that your mindset is just as shot as his. Try to be nice and smiley and offer a handshake he will reciprocate the same while putting something soft and squishy in your hand…your heart.

Chamber 8: David Jamieson - Put a carton of Massengil’s feminine wash in his hands, and quickly run by while he is trying to untangle his confusion. To try to do anything otherwise will result in you using the aforementioned product for the rest of your life because he would have ripped you one, a real pretty one with incredible sensitivity.

Chamber 9: Hall of Trolls - Its all an illusion populated by monsterous man-eating maulers and scary deadly eye-pickers and throat rippers that are nothing more than teen-age fantasy. Fear and pride are your only true enemies, you simply have to wade through the gauntlet of polysyllabic latinate conjugates to pass.

Chamber 10: ngokfei - Promise to get him a speaking part in the movie “Edward Scissorhands 2” and he will tear up and let you pass. Whatever you do, don’t say “Oriental”. The last person who did that was stared into nothingness.

Chambre 11: Tea Room - The most deadly of all, the chambers - stops many people dead in their progress. Comfy chairs and tables invite you to sit, drink tea and have-a-chat about everything you’ve already done.
Its the source of the “Na, there are only 11” crowd.

Chamber 12: Hendrik - Just tell him that the entire cache of Hanna Barbera cartoons were allegorical and contained advanced theories specifically pertinent to Wing Chun and that you will gladly talk with him about those cartoons and theories after you have completed the 36 Chambers. He will tear up and enthusiastically let you pass while screaming, "Yes! Yes!!Yesss!!!

Chamber 13: doug maverick - At the time of this writing, doug maverick is sitting in his chamber, in the corner, in the dark, after telling everyone on this forum that he likes to shamelessly plug Gene. Just say nothing and walk through. Keep cotton in your ears because if he sees you, he will desperately try to explain that he did not intend to write that. The last guy who did nothing to block his hearing went insane.

Chamber 14: hskwarrior - His chamber has a window. Just have a recorder broadcast the sounds, “Oh Eee Ah Oh Ummm” and he will run to the window and will be so looking to the skies, he will not see you walk by.

Chamber 15: Scott R. Brown - He will tell you up front, “You can’t out think me. You can’t out fight me! What can you do?” Just say, “bawang is my good friend.” He will tear up and say (voice cracking) “That’s sick. Get the fukouttahere!” There are times when words do more damage than sticks and stones.

bravo so far!

Not to derail progress too much here, but now I feel remiss in my description of the 2nd chamber.
[QUOTE=GeneChing;1251320]Chamber 2: bawang[/QUOTE]
I feel I should fill this out more, but I can’t seem to come up with anything that doesn’t go to ‘anoos’ so I’ll just leave that to someone else.

Keep Training & Carry On!

[QUOTE=GeneChing;1251355]Not to derail progress too much here, but now I feel remiss in my description of the 2nd chamber.

I feel I should fill this out more, but I can’t seem to come up with anything that doesn’t go to ‘anoos’ so I’ll just leave that to someone else.

Keep Training & Carry On![/QUOTE]

Chamber 2 is segregated. No tightey whiteys.

Chamber 2: Bawang - He will let you pass once you successfully decipher his Zen like riddles and drink from the Sacred Fountain of Hei Yuan. :smiley:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbwjfe5BbGc

[QUOTE=dlcox;1251360]Chamber 2: Bawang - He will let you pass once you successfully decipher his Zen like riddles and drink from the Sacred Fountain of Hei Yuan. :smiley:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbwjfe5BbGc[/QUOTE]

Lol…I thought that was weak until I watched the video…well played Sir!

Chamber 16 you must choose between fighting LKFMDC, or carrying on a conversation with him… :eek::stuck_out_tongue:

Chamber 16: MasterKiller - With this master, you must feign injury. Say, “I’ll fight you but don’t hit me here.” He’ll come back with, “As long as you don’t hit me there” Keep dat sh!t going back and forth with a whole bunch of injuries. Eventually, he will get so filled up with empathy over your “condition”, he will let you pass.

Chamber 17: The Wing Chun Forum.

The only way to survive is to use this superior logic to trump their brilliant theories.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_l5ntikaU

[QUOTE=GeneChing;1251355]Not to derail progress too much here, but now I feel remiss in my description of the 2nd chamber.

I feel I should fill this out more, but I can’t seem to come up with anything that doesn’t go to ‘anoos’ so I’ll just leave that to someone else.

Keep Training & Carry On![/QUOTE]

Anything about ronnie coleman will do.

oh gross

[QUOTE=dlcox;1251360]Chamber 2: Bawang - He will let you pass once you successfully decipher his Zen like riddles and drink from the Sacred Fountain of Hei Yuan. :smiley:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbwjfe5BbGc[/QUOTE]
I am now sorry I asked. Well played, dlcox.

Chamber 18: This is a speak easy that bawang was given permission to establish. Knock on the door and you will hear a voice (think voice of James Hong):

Voice: What’s in the sky"

You: The moon.

V: Is it full?

Y: Full of longing.

V: What side?

Y: The dark side.

V: How long to bone?

Y: 'Til the cows come home.

V:Why work it…

Y: When you can twerk it.

V: How do you handle viscosity?

Y: Lube

V: And if you’re from…'Frisco?

Y: Crisco

(Door opens, hinges squeal)

V: ENTAAH MY SPHINCT-DAAAHHH!