Sorry, to lighten things up a bit:
I thought what we need is a better advertising campaign for Tai Chi like the following:
Do you feel like a fat pig? Does everyone ask you how many months pregnant you are? Do your friends describe you as that pregnant guy? Are you one of the millions of people who have tried exercise dieting, and psychological counseling? Are you ready for that new body to emerge from your old shell of flatulent fat? If so, then you are in for a treat with the Tai Chi Fat Loss Program. Now you can forever change that cycle of eating, depression and more eating.
I know your response: What? Tai Chi you say? That slow, idiotic, boring looking exercise thats meant for people who are nearly dead or who would have a heart attack if they moved any faster? How can that stuff be good when more than 98% doing it are fatter or at least as fat as when they began their exercise program more than ten years ago? Isnt Tai Chi a cult? I thought its on the FBI top ten cult list? You mean that Oriental nonsense about chi? I thought they locked up all those Tai Chi guys who do those fancy ads on TV with dozens of beautiful models and million dollar yachts?
Your absolutely right! How can a slow ridiculously boring exercise get anyone in shape? The sloth, which is one of the worlds laziest animals, has been known to weigh more than 4,000 pounds. Its simple, slow activity translates to fat. Slow things are fat, fast things are thin. Its that simple.
Heres the secret, the Tai Chi imported to the West is all *ss backwards. Somebody got it backwards and it stuck ever since. You see the normal way is to do it fast first and then you can slow down when your tired. Fast and Fit go together as do Slow and Slob. Isnt that easy to understand and remember? You dont need a Phd. in electrical engineering to understand that. No, any child can understand that.
Still not convinced? Well read this:
Heres a testimonial from a Mr. Frank Round-belly from Canada. Hi, I come from Canada where it snows year around. As you can imagine, shoveling all that snow is backbreaking work. I got tired of my wife nagging me every morning: Come on Frank shovel a little faster, Im late for work! Easy for her to say when shes watching her eight oclock soap while gulping down a gallon of coffee and having her third donut for breakfast! Well one morning I just cracked. Thats it. I had enough. Enough is enough! Why does my wife get to eat donuts while I shovel and shovel? Its just not fair. I decided right then and there to try that new Tai Chi Fat Loss program they advertise in those sleazy Health magazines at the local fat loss clinic. I spent the nine bucks it cost for the fancy shrink wrapped DVD. It even came with a little booklet. You dont see that too often these days.
At first the DVD didnt work. At first I thought, is this a rip off like all the other rip offs from the Internet? Well stupid me. My four-year-old daughter told me I needed a DVD player to play the thing. My VCR just doesnt work on those DVDs. I told the wife to pick me up one of those DVD players on her way home from the fried chicken place. My wife was very happy because she got the last end of the line model for 10% off the regular price. You cant beat that, can you! Well, to cut a long story short, me and the wife started watching that DVD while were eating our chicken. I can tell you that just watching the thing made me feel 10 pounds lighter. The fat seemed like it was just dripping off our bodies. My wife thought it maybe came from the chicken but I know shes not too smart about these things. The Tai Chi Fat Loss program is just amazing. Watching all those ladies with their burned off fat was an inspiration to behold. I can tell you Im hooked. Im recommending this program to all my friends at the pub.
Well there you have it. We get thousands of these kinds of Emails every day. If your interested to have that lean mean body that you see in all the movie magazines then try the new Tai Chi Fat Loss program.
Note: This program may not be available in your area. Normal restrictions apply. No claims are made as to the effectiveness of this program. Results may vary with the individual.
Ray