open territory
You ask a valid question and I will give you a valid answer based upon my experience with sparring.
Open Territory
In the Kung Fu world, there is a concept known as ‘open territory’. People who are not open territory are- old people, children and babies, mothers and women in general (they replenish our species), the crippled and infirmed, injured fighters (let them heal), and anyone not willing to engage in the Fighting Circle.
The Kung Fu warrior does not look down upon or look up to anyone because of their station and life. The Kung Fu warrior treats all people with courtesy and respect at all times. He hides his skills and acts meekly before all people. Kindness comes from strength, not weakness. The warrior walks in hidden power. No one knows what he is capable of or that it even exists.
The only time a Kung Fu warrior has the moral right to engage the untrained is when protecting family and friends from an unprovoked life and death situation. In such a situation, the five levels of engagement ensue. They are: evade, block and counter, block with pain, maime, and kill. The Kung Fu warrior must be prepared to accept the consequences of the laws of society in the event that maiming or killing must be done.
When engaging a challenge on the Fighting Circle, agree to a level of engagement. If the other person does not agree to any level of engagement, then walk away. The potential consequences far outweigh the training opportunity. The Kung Fu warrior may only challenge and engage other Kung Fu warriors of equal or superior ability for the reason of improving his own skill. If the engagment is friendly, the level of engagment can be agreed upon, up to the level of block with pain. At no time is the maiming or killing levels of engagment acceptable, even with a serious challenge.
When sparring a younger practitioner for the sake of training, always spar the student at their own level of ability or just slightly more, so as to evoke learning and progress from them. Never beat on younger students and do not allow advanced students to beat on them either.When fighting someone with less training, fight just slightly above their level so as to fine tune and control the level of engagement, at the same time assisting the other person in upgrading their art.
When a Kung Fu warrior is challenged by an advanced student, dish out exactly what they try to dish out with just slightly more, to warn them what can happen. If they are foolish and try to hurt you, rather than hurt them, call the engagment off and send them home for the day, to cool off. When one student knocks another student down or out; do not let the knocked out student spar any more that day. Make them stand up, talk, and walk around for a while to make sure they do not have concussion, which can be serious.
In the Fighting Circle, there are only two positions. In the middle defending turf, or on the circle, probing and attempting to penetrate. These two positions change constantly. This is the microcosmic crucible that represents the struggle of life. All of discrepancies of character, strengths, and weaknesses will be revealed in the Fighting Circle. Do not spar everyday. Spar only if there is a good reason to do so on both parts. Spar whenever you have a lesson to be learned such as a particular technique or fighting concept that needs developing. While sparring, spar slowly and use authentic Kung Fu, utilizing the five principles of combat-breathwork, bridgework, center, focus, and timing. If one of the five principles is missing, use the other four to find it. Train to get better, not to be a tough guy. Training, not toughness.
-Excerpt from “Becoming a Gung Fu Fighter”, SKM, © 1998