Is Shao-lin Ninjitsu for real?

Wai Jia: The Kung Fu Forum Shaolin Kung Fu
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If you’re new to the world of Kung Fu and have a questions like: “Is the systen known as Shaolin Ninjitsu real shaolin kung fu???”

I have answers.

Yes, it is for real. It may be the only thing that is real. If you have a Master’s Degree from an accredited university, I can enlighten you and relieve you of your burdens while transforming you into a deadly weapon. Unlike sport fighting arts that have been modified, and codified, and feminized to the point of absurdity, or even aestheticized to hide the true killing potential of the really cool moves in the forms (as is prevalent both in so-called traditional shaolin martial arts and wushu), shao-lin ninjitsu preserves shao-lin in all of its martial glory, completely ****genized and as applicable today as it was in yesteryear.

Shaolin ninjitsu was the stealth art practiced by the Ten Tigers of Canton, used for sneaking and reconnaisance in their protection of the province, modified from traditional japanese kata using Hung Gar. You will find a parallel for this transformation in the evolution of Okinawan Karate from Shaolin Crane, only in reverse.

Although many discredit Shao-lin Ninjitsu because of the apparent contradiction in cultures it presents, and are abhorred to learn that the beloved Fei Hung learned the deadly assassin’s art, Shao-lin Ninjitsu is truly an art of peace. When involved in conflict, if you kill the aggressor, there is no more conflict, and peace resumes.

I am here at your disposal for any questions concerning my art. You can also speak with me at my Shao-lin Ninjitsu commune, assuming of course you bring proof of your Master’s Degree receipt from an accredited university. We’re located behind Crenshaw Yoga and Dance. You must enter the CYAD and ask to speak with Rose. When she asks you why you wish to learn Yoga and Dance, you must respond by saying that you seek the mind of the tiger spiritual, and she will usher you to my facility, which is tucked away behind the dance studio.

Good luck with your studies, everyone, and peace.

Grandmaster Sensei John Takeshi
8th Dan Shao-lin Ninjitsu, 8th Dan Tai Shing Pek Kwar

Student of Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno
10th Dan Shao-lin Ninjitsu, 10th Dan Tai Shing Pek Kwar (of Chan Tai San lineage)

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The 10 Tigers of Canton didn’t do Shaolin Ninjutsu. My Bull**** detector is clicking away like crazy.

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I have a masters degree and am willing to learn, Grandmaster Sensei.

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Weren’t you trying to sell this same snake oil over on another forum?

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54th and Crenshaw is where he is located? How many African Americans do you train, John? You’re right in the center of Gang Territory…

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[QUOTE=SenseiShellie;780594]54th and Crenshaw is where he is located? How many African Americans do you train, John? You’re right in the center of Gang Territory…[/QUOTE]

I train where it’s comfortable. I actually do not have any African Americans in my school, presently. I have in the past. It’s not a racial thing. You just don’t find that many locals with Master’s Degrees on hand, you know? It’s a terrible thing, the educational system around here. The only people I refuse to train are the Koreans. I do have a Latino gentleman in my commune, a refugee doctor from Nicaragua. I didn’t ask many questions. He came knocking on my door, looking for assylum, suffering from a bullet wound in his left buttcheek. I helped him out. The rest of my students are generally Chinese, Japanese, and a couple of lowai. All well educated, and even weller trained.

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[QUOTE=NJM;780551]The 10 Tigers of Canton didn’t do Shaolin Ninjutsu. My Bull**** detector is clicking away like crazy.[/QUOTE]

How do you know? Were you there? Do you have scrolls that tell the stories? Have you seen the stele erected in their honor? The reason you persist in your skepticism is that you simply have not heard of the tales, directly. Perhaps I shall delineate the history of the art on this web board, if everyone agrees to turn a willing ear.

The ten tigers of canton begat the art. They were far from the greatest masters of it. It was honed and perfected over time, kind of like the great masters of the Rococo.

I think that should demonstrate how apparently sophisitcated I am.

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During the squabbles that befell our clan while the Trifold Resistance in Bhutan set the government atwitter, Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno told me of the history of our clan in exquisite detail, rendered plain unto my tongue, and unto his own. As is told in the stele erected in Guangdong, the Ten Tigers of Canton were in fact, not Shaolin monks, nor students of the temple proper. They were what are now called Shaolin lay disciples. None of them took classes in the temple, directly under sworn monks. They were, in fact, associates of the southern Shaolin Monastery at Jiulian Mountain. They learned their Shaolin from renegade monks who collected there after the original Shaolin monasteries were burned, and much knowledge was lost, and the gymnastic art of wushu took its place. As such, they were heirs to the entire spectrum of Shaolin arts, while all the rest of China proliferated balletic partial arts–as we call them derogatorily in our system. These systems include Tai Tzu, Northern Praying Mantis, Seven Star Mantis, Wing Chun, and all the other old opera systems, too many to name. None of these systems today is even a mere specter of what they once were. Only in the Shao-lin Ninjitsu propagated by the Ten Tigers, notably Wong Yan Lum (our patron saint, deus exultus maximus) do these martial arts remain unchanged and in their original form.

Although the Ten Tigers lived in the latter part of the Qing Dynasty in Guangdong Province, when the Manchus abused their powers, the Ten Tigers were not a unified group. They were, roughly, about two or three generations after the Five Shaolin Ancestors. The Ten Tigers were comprised of Wong Yan Lum (Master of Hop Gar, White Crane, and Lama kung fu), Wong Ching Ho, So Hark Fu, Wong Kei Ying, Wong Fai Hung (the son of Wong Kei Ying), Lai Yan Chiu, So Huk Yee, Ti Kiu Sam, Ti Chi Chan, and Tam Chai Hok..

Because of the dissolute political climate at work in China during these times, locals used to hire out martial arts masters to protect their cities, villages, and even provinces. Rather than settling disputes by war, all squabbles were carried out by death matches, leitei style, between the martial arts masters of each province. Southern China was particularly a mess, and the Ten Tigers of Canton were the ten martial arts masters that reigned during the height of hte chaos. They knew each other as Shaolin brothers, and formed a pact for peace in the realm. It was during their long lasting pact of peace that Shoji Hunakoshi, 10th Dan of Judo-Ninjutsu, began teaching his art in Guangdong, and attracted the martial interest of Wong Yan Lum’s third nephew. News spread of Shoji’s prowess, and soon Wong Yan Lum was enrolled in Shoji’s ninjitsu commune. The rest, as they say, is history.

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New Photos of Ancient Scrolls

For those who are interested, I have posted copies of old photos of the Ancient Scrolls of Shao-lin Ninjitsu, which are still on display in Guangdong today.

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[QUOTE=bodhitree;780552]I have a masters degree and am willing to learn, Grandmaster Sensei.[/QUOTE]

I need a copy of your Masters Degree, a letter of accreditation from your university, an educational record going back at least to 4th grade, and a family history delineating your racial heritage, to make sure there isn’t any Korean in your blood.

You must also successfully complete one of our Iron Maiden Polygraphs, to ensure you are not a spy for Seiko Fujita’s spawn of Satan, and run the gauntlet in under four minutes, without spilling more than a pint of blood–and you cannot get caught on the razorwire thermoban, despite the fact that it’s been malfunctioning lately, and even I have gotten caught on it. We’re working on that issue right now.

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Psycho-troll! :rolleyes:

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Unko. We need some judges for our September kumite. How about helping out an old friend?

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[QUOTE=John Takeshi;780709]I need a copy of your Masters Degree, a letter of accreditation from your university, an educational record going back at least to 4th grade, and a family history delineating your racial heritage, to make sure there isn’t any Korean in your blood.

You must also successfully complete one of our Iron Maiden Polygraphs, to ensure you are not a spy for Seiko Fujita’s spawn of Satan, and run the gauntlet in under four minutes, without spilling more than a pint of blood–and you cannot get caught on the razorwire thermoban, despite the fact that it’s been malfunctioning lately, and even I have gotten caught on it. We’re working on that issue right now.[/QUOTE]

pm me a location/number to fax/mail the above mentioned documents.

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I don’t do it by email, because I don’t trust its security. You can reach us through Crenshaw Yoga and Dance. Our fax is down. Please send via US Mail. I prefer to do it in person, but if you must send it by ground, address it to Rose, ala ATTN: Rose.

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Sorry, I almost forgot to post the address:

Crenshaw Yoga and Dance
ATTN: Rose (I seek the mind of the tiger spiritual)
5426 Crenshaw Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90043

We are located on Crenshaw Blvd between 54th and 57th St. You can park two blocks down and walk the rest.

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What would happen if I just showed up when you were not there, acted like I was in charge and started teaching lessons?

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I’d bind you head and foot, turn you over to the Crenshaw Mafia, and let them run a train on you. They’d finish you off with an RNC.

By the way, their version of the Rear Naked Choke has very little to do with strangulation, and much to do with a Naked Rear.

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No, I’m just kidding. Of course.

You’d never be able to pull it off. You don’t know what good Shao-lin looks like, so you’d be run through with Admiral Kwan’s naginata before you had a chance to pollute our facility with your partial arts.

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[QUOTE=John Takeshi;780723]Unko. We need some judges for our September kumite. How about helping out an old friend?[/QUOTE]

Oh-ho, and to whom am I actually speaking? :confused:

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We don’t need you to judge, silly. I need to borrow your passport, so we can get Hamurabi Sakurabi out of Kyoto.