Ninja FAIL

Wai Jia: The Kung Fu Forum Street/Reality Fighting
1

Felt like a new thread was needed for this. There will surely be some crossover from Bad Day for Wannabe Bruce Lees & Bad Day for Samurai Wannabes. And there’s a lot of archived Ninja Fails like Panty Ninja!!! & metally disturbed ninja stabs parents (I know there’s more but ninja calls up over 500 threads on a search and I wasn’t going to invest that much work into this).

Police say burglar crawls into bed with Canton couple
By Robert Wang
CantonRep.com staff writer
Posted Aug 10, 2010 @ 11:21 PM
CANTON —

Often during a burglary, an intruder enters the home, perhaps causes some property damage, steals some items and leaves.

But in a burglary early Tuesday, an unshaven homeless man went into a residence in the 1300 block of 13th Street SE, apparently through an unlocked door, entered the kitchen, placed a can of noodles and pack of cigarettes into his pocket and then crawled into bed with the home’s occupant and his wife, according to a police report.

The report does not disclose how the occupant realized there was a third person in his bed during the incident, which took place around 2:45 a.m. But at some point, the intruder fled through a side or back door.

A police supervisor, who wasn’t on duty during that morning shift, read additional details from the dispatcher’s notes. Police found the man, who was wearing a dark baseball cap, peeking through a window of a home in the 1400 block of 13th Street SE and took him into custody.

The report and court records identified the arrested man as Michael C. Phillips, 22, with no address.

“He told the officers he’s a ninja and knows mixed martial arts,” the supervisor read from the notes, adding that Phillips, described as roughly 5 feet 8-inches tall and 160 pounds, is also known by his moniker of “Snake Eyes.”

Phillips was charged with felony burglary and a misdemeanor count of possessing marijuana. He is scheduled to appear today in Canton Municipal Court.

The report said police suspect that Phillips consumed alcohol and drugs. He was wearing a white T-shirt and blue shorts.

The home’s occupants, whom the report said were not physically harmed, could not be reached for comment Tuesday night. The police sergeant who was on duty that morning was out on patrol and also couldn’t be reached.

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ttt

Evil ninjas terrorise Pittsburgh
Rob Beschizza at 4:50 PM Monday, Apr 25, 2011

A spate of mysterious crimes carried out by ninjas has left Pittsburghers annoyed and confused.

In the latest event, a sword-wielding ninja smashed 11 cars in South Union Township, PA. and tried to stab a man who confronted him, say police. Santino Guzzo said he heard glass breaking, found the ninja hiding in a yard, and was cut in the hand during the ensuing ninja escape.

“He was like a gazelle that just got attacked by a lion,” Guzzo told the Pittsburgh Trib. “He got up and fell, and got up and fell. Then he jumped off a cliff.”

Guzzo reported that he “did not move with the grace typically associated with a ninja” and that he therefore “will not live in fear of the ninja’s return.”

WTAE news, quoting neighbor Chelsey Cunningham, said the ninja also left behind “like, a fifth of liquor.”

A few weeks ago in Scottdale, PA, a man was charged with child endangerment after leaving his 4-year old child at home alone. Police insist that Ross Hurst, 28, was dressed in ninja garb when approached. Hurst denies being a ninja and says it was all a misunderstanding.

“I wasn’t playing ninja,” Hurst told WPXI news. “I wasn’t playing anything. I went out for a jog.”

Not long ago, two sword-wielding ninjas robbed a gas station in Richland Township, PA, taking with them cash, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

“It did appear they were dressed like ninjas,” said local police chief Robert Amman. Local businessman Rick Lekki reported that it happened just across from his bar.

“It’s shocking. Things like that just don’t happen out here. I just can’t believe it happened,” Lekki told a local news affilliate, narrowing his eyes as a menacing, discordant note escaped an unseen shakuhachi flute.

Get your ninja gear here, even if you’re from Pittsburgh.

3

Weak pathetic ninjas…

4

Check your sales Gene, maybe you can help police in Pitts track down their Sho Kosugi.

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Can’t out the ninjas without a court order

Come on now, Brule. Just think how bad that would be for business. However, MartialArtsMart always complies with the law, so if you’ve got a court order…

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My bad

Continue with your Ninja Gear spending spree here

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Don’t carry your throwing stars in your carry on

Would they bust you for rubbers? TSA probably would.

Throwing star found in woman’s carry-on at airport
Lori Consalvo, Staff Writer
Posted: 07/11/2011 05:51:01 PM PDT

For the second time in a little over a month, a martial arts throwing star was discovered inside a passenger’s carry-on bag.

Transportation Security Administration officers stopped Courtney Susan Brown, 18, Saturday when the weapon was spotted during an x-ray screening at LA/Ontario International Airport, according to a police statement.

Brown, bound for Phoenix, was taken into custody, cited and released for possessing a prohibited weapon, officials said.

In June, TSA officers discovered two martial arts throwing stars in the carry on bag of a passenger. The man, bound for Phoenix, was arrested and charged with possession of a deadly weapon, according to a TSA news release.

Martial arts throwing stars and other self-defense items can be placed in checked baggage but are not allowed in carry-ons.

With any kind of illegal item, passengers have a reason for carrying it, said Nico Melendez a TSA Public Affairs Manager. Excuses range from absent-mindedness to gifts and souvenirs.

“But the fact is throwing stars, brass knuckles - they’re illegal not only at the airport but in the streets and if you’re found with them you’re arrested there too,” Melendez said.

There have been other weapon recently discovered at the Ontario airport:

  • July - a man traveling to Phoenix was arrested after TSA officers found a 9 mm firearm loaded with eight rounds of ammunition in his carry-on bag during the x-ray screening process.

-June - police questioned a Denver-bound
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man who had six rounds of .45 caliber ammunition in his carry on bag. Officials seized the and the man was cleared for travel. He was not charged or cited.

  • May - a loaded, undeclared .22 caliber hand gun was found inside a man’s checked bag. The gun, which belonged to the passenger, was released back to him after officials conducted a criminal records check on the man and the weapon.

  • April - a man was taken into custody at the Ontario airport after security officers discovered a collapsible batton inside his carry-on bag. The Oakland-bound passenger was arrested for possessing a deadly weapon.

But it’s not just a local problem.

Other Southern California airports - including Burbank, John Wayne, and LAX - have been subject to weapons arrests - both ordinary and unusual.

“One passenger had three throwing stars (in their carry-on) another had an antique shot gun,” Melendez said. “It happens quite frequently.”

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stoner ninjas

Okay, 'fess up. Who’s ninjas were these?

Medical marijuana delivery man reports he was robbed by ninjas in West Covina
Posted: 03/25/2012 11:39:58 AM PDT

WEST COVINA - Police are looking into a bizarre report of a medical marijuana robbery involving two attackers dressed as ninjas, officials said.

Police received the strange report shortly before 10 p.m. Friday from a medical marijuana delivery man who said he had been robbed in the 800 block of South Sunset Avenue, near Cameron Avenue, after making a delivery to a patient West Covina police Lt. Alan Henley said.

The delivery man, who was in his 40s, told police that, “As he was going back to his vehicle, he was approached by two subjects in ninja costumes who chased him with batons,” the lieutenant said.

“The victim said he was scared and he dropped a bag with some marijuana and money. The suspects took it,” Henley added.

It was not clear how much cash or pot was taken, police added.

The incident remained under investigation. Police were not aware of any other recent crimes involving suspects dressed as ninjas.

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Police were not aware of any other recent crimes involving suspects dressed as ninjas.

Nor should they be…

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1.5-3 years for a star?

Oh. A Kung Fu star. All I gotz is Ninja Stars. No worries then. :wink:

Olean Man Sentenced to Jail For Possessing a Kung Fu Star
By Mitch Simon
May 29, 2013 Updated May 29, 2013 at 3:41 PM EDT

CITY OF OLEAN, N.Y. (WKBW) - An Olean man has been sentenced to one and a half to three years in prison for possessing a kung fu star when he had previously been convicted of a crime.

The incident occurred on August 30th, 2012, when sheriffs arrested 22-year-old Jesse Bartlett.

Bartlett was sentenced for his conviction of third degree Attempted Criminal Possession of a Weapon, a class E felony.

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ninja robber busted

Ahkinea looks disturbingly like a friend of mine…

‘Ninja robber’ Ahkinea Cox sentenced to 25 years in prison
Jun. 7, 2013 |

Ahkinea Cox, aka Lil Bit / Johnson County Sheriff’s Office
Written by
Josh OLeary
Iowa City Press-Citizen

The prolonged legal saga of Ahkinea Cox, which began with a string of robberies in 2008 that earned him the nickname the ninja robber, came to its end in Johnson County District Court with his sentencing Friday.

Following a plea deal struck last month, Judge Mitchell Turner sentenced Cox to a maximum of 25 years in prison, under which he will serve a mandatory term of at least 17 1/2 years.

Cox, 33, received 25 years after pleading guilty to first-degree robbery for robbing of a Gasbys gas station on Gilbert Street in November 2008. He also received a pair of 10-year sentences for second-degree robbery for his part in the holdups of Hy-Vee and Delimart that same year. Cox will serve the terms concurrently, with a 70 percent mandatory minimum term.

Coxs court-appointed lawyer, Mark Meyer, filed a constitutional challenge to the mandatory sentencing provision Friday, arguing that such provisions are often enacted by the legislature in reaction to a single tragic event to show that lawmakers are tough on crime. Meyer said that encroaches on his clients constitutional rights because none of the specific factors in Coxs case can then be taken into account in the sentencing, particularly his rotten social upbringing.

Coxs mother abandoned him at a young age, his father was a crack addict and Cox was an abused child, Meyer said.

Meyer also said Coxs limited intelligence should be taken into account: All the experts agree Mr. Cox has the intellectual capabilities of a child, essentially.

Assistant Johnson County Attorney Anne Lahey said Cox must be being treated like anyone else convicted of such offenses.

We think its important Mr. Cox be incarcerated for the protection of the community, she said.

Turner told Meyer the judicial branch has no authority to change the terms of a plea deal, other than to reject it, and he saw no reason to do so Friday.

Cox, a.k.a. Lil Bit, was caught in the act by police while robbing a Gasbys in 2008 at knife point. Police then tied him to the pair of earlier robberies, including the Delimart holdup in which two men dressed in black, ninja-like attire robbed the clerk and a customer at gunpoint.

In 2010 a judge dismissed the charges, ruling that Cox did not receive a trial within one year as required, prosecutors had argued that the time taken to to perform a mental competency evaluation should have pushed that one-year mark back. The dismissal was later appealed and reversed, but Cox fled the state before he could face charges again. He was arrested in November 2011 in Dundee, Ill., on outstanding warrants.

Cox, who has been behind bars for 49 months over the past five years, according to Meyer, asked the judge whether his time served would be subtracted from the sentence. Turner said that would be a decision made by the Department of Corrections.

In addition to the prison sentence, Cox was ordered to pay $1,467 and $1,340 in restitution to Delimart and Hy-Vee.

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Slightly OT…

I suppose this could be viewed as a ninja success as he hasn’t been caught…

Neighborhood Flasher Wearing Ninja Outfit Continues to Elude N.C. Police Using This Tactic
Nov. 9, 2013 11:44am Oliver Darcy

An individual flashing neighborhood residents while wearing a ninja costume has continued to elude police by reportedly running into wooded areas.

WSOC-TV reported Friday that the man “seems to escape from police running to wooded areas” as a way “to hide.”

According to individuals who have seen the suspect, the man wears a ninja costume, but is naked below the waist.

“He had what looked like a ninja hood, a mask covering his face and a black shirt and nothing on below his waist,” Michael Collins, a witness, told WSOC-TV.

“At first, we thought it was just a young kid doing a prank but it’s scary to actually find out it’s a guy parading around the streets here,” John Salamone, neighbor, added.

Police reportedly do not believe the man has physically harmed anyone, but are eager to catch him before that potentially changes.

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This is more like it

A true ninja fail

Professor’s son dressed in ninja costume caused campus lockdown: police
By Cheryl K. Chumley
The Washington Times
Tuesday, November 5, 2013


David Kyem. (Screen grab from CBS News/WFSB-TV)

The son of a professor was to blame for a police-ordered lockdown at Central Connecticut State University that lasted more than three hours and included talk of weapons and shots fired, authorities said Tuesday.

University heads said professor Peter Kyem’s son, David Kyem, 21, was arrested on breach of peace charges and freed on a $1,000 bail, CBS reported. He was faulted for the campus chaos on Monday. Police never recovered any weapons and said those on the campus were never in danger.

They also declined to release further details about Mr. Kyem’s charges or about the incident.

The suspect’s father, however, said to CBS that his son went to a three-day, off-campus party and returned to the school still in costume — as a ninja. He also said his son didn’t have a weapon — only a plastic gun — and that all was fine.

“He assured me that there’s nothing happening,” the elder Mr. Kyem said, in CBS. “Apparently they had isolated him in his room, and he didn’t know.”

Police reported that the suspect didn’t struggle when he was arrested.

“We had no real threat to students or faculty,” said Chris Cervoni, chief of police at the campus, in the CBS report.

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No self-respecting ninja would carry a gun. Even a plastic one. Fail.

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‘Thief’ turns out to be ninja trainee

http://www.thelocal.se/20140829/police-corner-stockholm-ninja

A nervous neighbour called police to warn that “a masked thief clad entirely in black” had jumped down from the balcony of the house next door.

But reports surfaced this week that the thief was no thief. The leap was simply a ritual part of advanced ninja training.

One of the neighbour’s sons had decided to devote himself to wall-scaling and acrobatic tricks - while dressed as a ninja, naturally.

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Surely a proper ninja doesn’t steal arrow tips from Walmart…

As for those shuriken, he shoulda tossed them. :stuck_out_tongue:

ba-dum-pum!

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Shoplifting suspect caught with ninja stars
By Sabra Stafford
Crime Desk sstafford@turlockjournal.com 209-634-9141, ext. 2002
POSTED September 9, 2014 8:00 p.m.

A Turlock man stopped for shoplifting arrow tips from Walmart on Monday was found in possession of Shuriken knives, also known as ninja throwing stars, the Turlock Police Department reported.

The suspect, identified as Lance Mitchell, 30, was taken into custody around 9 p.m. Monday at the Walmart store at 2111 Fulkerth Rd.

Mitchell is suspected of previously stealing items from the store by hiding them in his motorcycle helmet and fleeing on a motorcycle before police arrive, according to the police department.

On Monday, loss prevention agents from the store recognized him and watched as he hid several arrow tips in his helmet and then made for the exit. He was stopped before he could escape and detained until the police arrived.

A search of Mitchell revealed he was in illegal possession of the ninja throwing stars.

Mitchell was arrested on suspicion of shoplifting and a weapon offense.

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Polygamist Ninja Wives defeated by Samurai Wannabe!

The Guardian said that on Saturday . . .

Two armed polygamist women dressed like ninjas were subdued by a sword-wielding man during a home invasion, according to police in suburban Utah.

Another adult male joined the fray in defense of the first male victim. He was armed with a sword, and using a sword and with the other male [was] able to subdue the two women until police arrived and took them into custody.

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Ninja-Wives.jpg
Ninja-Wives.jpg998×606 31.7 KB

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Just…wow

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I know, right?

Waiting on more follow up on the Polygamist Ninja Wives (great name for a band that).

Meanwhile, here’s the tree ninja:

Hank Investigates: “Tree Ninja”
Posted: Sep 23, 2014 12:43 PM PDT
Updated: Sep 23, 2014 8:23 PM PDT
Reported by Hank Phillippi Ryan
Local News – Metro Boston

BOSTON (WHDH) - A local community in fear and anger–as one of their own neighbors seems determined to destroy their property–and not even the police can stop him! What this guy is doing is illegal and shocking–and Hank got him caught on camera. You wont believe what you’re about to see as Hank investigates–“the tree ninja.”

Boston police say this man attacks his victims with axes and hammers. Here he is, caught by a neighbors surveillance camera-in the act.

Yuly Mekler, Brighton Resident: “I think that he is dangerous.”

Brian McLaughlin, Brighton Resident: “It’s been going on and on and on.”

And officials are powerless to stop it.

Yuly Mekler: “All the police know but they can’t do anything”

It’s not people the police say Brighton resident Joe Rizza is harming, it’s trees! Police reports say Rizza dresses in black, like a ninja, then, under cover of darkness he attacks the trunks of neighborhood trees with a hammer or ax–listen…

And then? He then disappears in to the night.

Several of his Brighton neighbors say they have seen him do it, even caught him, time after time.

Hank: “Have you said, ‘why are you doing this?’”
Yuly Mekler: “Yes.”
Hank: “And what happens?”
Yuly Mekler: “He turns and runs.”

Eventually, the trees die–and though he’s been repeatedly charged with malicious destruction of property and even was court-ordered to wear an electronic monitoring bracelet–neighbors say the attacks continued.

Hank: “That is what he does?”
Yuly Mekler: “Yes. That is what he does.”

Here’s proof, residents are terrified of where the “tree ninja” will attack next–they’ve actually created wood and chicken wire barricades to keep him away.

Hank: “That’s bizarre.”
Yuly Mekler: “Yeah, that’s bizarre.”

The City initially replaced the ninja victims–costing so far about 4300 taxpayer dollars–but now, the City says, they simply can’t keep replanting.

Hank: “Why?”
Greg Mosman, City of Boston Arborist: “Because he’s gonna do it again.”

Look: So here’s what Winship Street used to look like, see that tree on the left? And now it’s gone.

Rizza’s now been charged–again- that’s why he was in Brighton Court this day–but he wasn’t answering any of our questions.

Hank: “Mr. Rizza? Why do you chop the trees?”
(Joseph Rizza: Doesn’t answer.)

His father admitted his son has a problem.

Hank: “So why does he do it, has he told you why he does it?”
Tony Rizza, Joseph Rizza’s Father: (pointing to head) “Mental, mental.”

And his mother–simply ordered us to go away.

But for now neighbors watch and barricade and wonder if there will be another attack.

Ninjas are odd. This time of year, I miss Ninjastar. :frowning:

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Follow up on the Polygamist Ninja Wives

There’s a news vid if you follow the link with pix of Ms. Southwick & Ms. Blackwing unmasked.

Polygamous women in ‘ninja’ apparel charged in home attack
By Pat Reavy
September 25th, 2014 @ 7:54pm

 2 women arrested in alleged home invasion, attack

WEST JORDAN — Two women who police say are involved in a polygamous relationship with a man accused of raping a child allegedly dressed as ninjas and broke into the house where the girl was sleeping.

Tylynn Southwick, 19, and Raven Blackwing, 22, were each charged Thursday with aggravated burglary, a first-degree felony, retaliation against a witness or victim, a third-degree felony, and aggravated assault, a third-degree felony. Bail for each was set at $1 million cash only.

Prosecutors believe both women broke into a house last week where the girl was staying, just four days before she was scheduled to testify against her alleged attacker.

On Sept. 19, a man staying at the house in West Jordan heard the upstairs floor creaking just before 4 a.m. He went to investigate and was confronted by two people dressed all in black, including black masks and black latex gloves.

“The two individuals lunged at (the man), putting their hands towards his throat,” the charges filed in 3rd District Court state.

Another man in the house heard the commotion and went to assist. When he did, one of the intruders went after him with a stun gun and grazed his arm, according to the charges. The man was able to wrestle the woman to the floor and hold her until police arrived.

Arriving officers found Southwick was being held down by one of the men, while the other was holding Blackwing at bay on the couch with a samurai sword, the charges state.

Investigators found the two women were in possession of a knife, a large piece of cellophane, matches, a screwdriver, syringes, and Formalin, according to the charges. Police say Formalin is a strong chemical used to knock people out.

Also inside the home at the time was a 14-year-old girl who was asleep. The girl is the alleged rape victim of Kain Blackwing. He was charged in July with one count of rape, a first-degree felony. The girl was scheduled to testify against him at his preliminary hearing, according to police.

That court hearing, which was scheduled for Tuesday, was continued. A scheduling hearing was set for Nov. 6.

Court documents list Raven Blackwing as Kain Blackwing’s wife and Southwick as his “girlfriend.” West Jordan police, however, say both women claim Kain Blackwing is their husband.