Decide if you’re willing to live with the status quo or not. If not: I usually prefer just cutting the crap and sitting the guy down privately for a serious and frank talk. I really think that’s the most evolved and practical way to go… it’s not fun, but it works a surprising percentage of the time (even when I really don’t think it’s going to work). Either you will work it out, or you will realize that it is not going to be possible to work it out; in which latter case it will be time to consider other options. I never go over someone’s head unless I have tried to handle the matter betwixt the two of us first, and failed.
I would suggest informing the Head Instructor at your school.
There are several problems here:
(1) Sexism and potential harassment issues. While the person may NOT intend for his comments like “Honey” or “Sweetheart” to be offensive, he is making a hostile environment for women in the class. Some may take it as a come on, others as condescending, and others may shrug it off (but inwardly think him an a$$). In any event, his behavior will more than likely drive away female students and affect the reputation and bottom line of the school.
(2) From your description, it is hard to know if there is a habit of either starting or ending classes late. However, if you have classes and private sessions using the same area and running back to back, being unable to adhere to the posted schedule will again cost the school students and money.
(3) There is virtually no time where one staff member of a school (Assistant Instructor) should feel free to argue or show disrespect to another staff member of a school. In fact, there is really no time it is acceptable for anyone in a school to disrespect anyone else in the school. So, there needs to be an attitude adjustment somewhere. Not everyone will like everyone else. However, it is possible for everyone to tolerate and be professional with just about anyone. To NOT do this will again cause the school to lose students and money.
Students notice when there is tension in a school. Indiscriminate correction of students in the way described tends to undermine all of the instructors in a school. It is basically that person saying that one instructor is bad so, there may be others that are as well. And finally, since the head instructor appointed those “bad” instructors, the head instructor is now in question.
I would take it up with the head instructor privately…it is not your problem to solve…it is his.
[QUOTE=GLW;929287]I would suggest informing the Head Instructor at your school.
There are several problems here:
(1) Sexism and potential harassment issues. While the person may NOT intend for his comments like “Honey” or “Sweetheart” to be offensive, he is making a hostile environment for women in the class. Some may take it as a come on, others as condescending, and others may shrug it off (but inwardly think him an a$$). In any event, his behavior will more than likely drive away female students and affect the reputation and bottom line of the school.
(2) From your description, it is hard to know if there is a habit of either starting or ending classes late. However, if you have classes and private sessions using the same area and running back to back, being unable to adhere to the posted schedule will again cost the school students and money.
(3) There is virtually no time where one staff member of a school (Assistant Instructor) should feel free to argue or show disrespect to another staff member of a school. In fact, there is really no time it is acceptable for anyone in a school to disrespect anyone else in the school. So, there needs to be an attitude adjustment somewhere. Not everyone will like everyone else. However, it is possible for everyone to tolerate and be professional with just about anyone. To NOT do this will again cause the school to lose students and money.
Students notice when there is tension in a school. Indiscriminate correction of students in the way described tends to undermine all of the instructors in a school. It is basically that person saying that one instructor is bad so, there may be others that are as well. And finally, since the head instructor appointed those “bad” instructors, the head instructor is now in question.
I would take it up with the head instructor privately…it is not your problem to solve…it is his.[/QUOTE]
This is a problem between two students…or in today’s vocabulary “Drama”. I wish I could say that it don’t happen in my school but it does.
Unless his Sifu is a complete lettuce head he knows his top students and their personality trails. He would be crazy to take this up with his sifu. It would make him look like a snitch. This is a private problem.
Sorry, but the key words there were INSTRUCTORS
They MAY be students but they are also teaching paying students…and as such they have an impact on the schools bottom line.
In a professional setting, using the terms “Honey” and “Sweetheart” referring to a female coworker or subordinate could get you fired since it is a form of sexual harassment.
In a school situation with kids, such behavior would get you reprimanded and possibly fired…and would make most parents uneasy with your motives (sexaul predators and such).
In a University setting, you could get away with it if you had tenure - until the lawsuit for sexual harassment.
In regards to being disrespectful of other instructors, this is like being disrespectful or condescending to co-workers in a paid job. Again, this can lead to being fired.
Now, I am NOT saying to whine. I am saying to let the Head Instructor know because it can and will affect his revenue stream for his school.
There is a big difference between saying “He was MEAN to ME” and saying “He speaks down to women in the school, does not relinquish the training areas on time when there are students with school schedules paying for time, and he confuses students with contradicting instructions on things other instructors have taught…and all of these things can and will cause a school to lose students”
[QUOTE=GLW;929287]I would suggest informing the Head Instructor at your school.
There are several problems here:
(1) Sexism and potential harassment issues. While the person may NOT intend for his comments like Honey or Sweetheart to be offensive, he is making a hostile environment for women in the class. Some may take it as a come on, others as condescending, and others may shrug it off (but inwardly think him an a$$). In any event, his behavior will more than likely drive away female students and affect the reputation and bottom line of the school.
(2) From your description, it is hard to know if there is a habit of either starting or ending classes late. However, if you have classes and private sessions using the same area and running back to back, being unable to adhere to the posted schedule will again cost the school students and money.
(3) There is virtually no time where one staff member of a school (Assistant Instructor) should feel free to argue or show disrespect to another staff member of a school. In fact, there is really no time it is acceptable for anyone in a school to disrespect anyone else in the school. So, there needs to be an attitude adjustment somewhere. Not everyone will like everyone else. However, it is possible for everyone to tolerate and be professional with just about anyone. To NOT do this will again cause the school to lose students and money.
Students notice when there is tension in a school. Indiscriminate correction of students in the way described tends to undermine all of the instructors in a school. It is basically that person saying that one instructor is bad so, there may be others that are as well. And finally, since the head instructor appointed those bad instructors, the head instructor is now in question.
I would take it up with the head instructor privatelyit is not your problem to solveit is his.[/QUOTE]
spot on;
[QUOTE=BoulderDawg;929303]He would be crazy to take this up with his sifu. It would make him look like a snitch. This is a private problem.[/QUOTE]
no it’s not - it is a very public one, because other students are already involved; the worst thing he can do is try resolve it “man to man”, because the capacity for things to flair up is too great and it seems as if the other guy will not have the capacity to be level-headed - as it is, xca already been very forthright as to having to do his best to not punch the guy in the face already, and that was in front of other students - if he was alone w/the guy, he may not feel so inhibited - at any rate, it’s too volatile and the best way to resolve this is to depersonalize it, which he can do by simply stating the impact that is being had on other students vis-a-vis the late start time, the contradictory instruction and the inappropriate names; the best thing to do is to treat it like any other professional situation and involve the person in charge; to call his sifu a “lettuce head” for not being clairvoyant is also silly - the man is running a business, but he can’t be everywhere at once - he relies on his instructors to be his eyes and ears as well;
You’ve heard one side of the story from someone who obviously dislikes the other person.
As I said, unless the sifu had the IQ of a turnip then he knows what’s going on in his school. He doen’t need to be told.
[QUOTE=BoulderDawg;929311]You’ve heard one side of the story from someone who obviously dislikes the other person. [/QUOTE]
so have you; and we have both come to different conclusions based on the same information, which means we both have decided to take him at his word; why you are bringing this up now?
and quite frankly, although it is clear that xca dislikes the other person, the tenor of his post is one where he is trying to function professionally despite his personal issues; that, to me, gives his “side” of the story more credibility than not;
[QUOTE=BoulderDawg;929311]As I said, unless the sifu had the IQ of a turnip then he knows what’s going on in his school. He doen’t need to be told.[/QUOTE]
you have no way of knowing that - it’s a heck of an assumption; have you ever run a school? spent time working closely with people who do? believe me, this is exactly the sort of thing that any instructor with half a brain would want to have brought up to him, and would not want it to escalate
[QUOTE=taai gihk yahn;929310]no it’s not - it is a very public one, because other students are already involved; the worst thing he can do is try resolve it “man to man”, because the capacity for things to flair up is too great and it seems as if the other guy will not have the capacity to be level-headed - as it is, xca already been very forthright as to having to do his best to not punch the guy in the face already, and that was in front of other students - if he was alone w/the guy, he may not feel so inhibited - at any rate, it’s too volatile and the best way to resolve this is to depersonalize it, which he can do by simply stating the impact that is being had on other students vis-a-vis the late start time, the contradictory instruction and the inappropriate names; the best thing to do is to treat it like any other professional situation and involve the person in charge; to call his sifu a “lettuce head” for not being clairvoyant is also silly - the man is running a business, but he can’t be everywhere at once - he relies on his instructors to be his eyes and ears as well;[/QUOTE]
All I can tell you is what I would do as sifu. If a top male student came in and started charging another top male student with things like sex harassment I’m just going to say “Stop right there” then I’m going to get the student he is speaking about and have him make the charges to his face. Then I’m going to watch the reaction between the student and decide what to do next. That might include asking one or both of them to leave the school.
[QUOTE=taai gihk yahn;929313]the tenor of his post is one where he is trying to function professionally despite his personal issues; that, to me, gives his “side” of the story more credibility than not[/QUOTE]
Saying that he can barely stop himself from punching the other person in the face is NOT acting professionally.
So, let’s say he goes to his Sifu. Sifu listens and says “You’re crazy. Joe’s a great guy and does a good job.” You’ve kinda backed yourself into a corner with nowhere to go.
[QUOTE=BoulderDawg;929314]All I can tell you is what I would do as sifu. If a top male student came in and started charging another top male student with things like sex harassment I’m just going to say “Stop right there” then I’m going to get the student he is speaking about and have him make the charges to his face. Then I’m going to watch the reaction between the student and decide what to do next. That might include asking one or both of them to leave the school.[/QUOTE]
not necessary: if he tells his instructor this guy uses terms of that nature, then the instructor can either just watch him teach and catch him in the act, or better yet, make a GENERAl announcement to all of his staff that it has been brought to his attention that these terms are being used and must not be; problem solved, drama avoided;
similarly, with the late class start time - the sifu just reminds his staff that classes need to start / end on time, and that if they are participating in a class that is running over and have a private waiting, that they excuse themselves to teach the class;
with correcting a student differently between 2 instructors: this is more difficult and a quality control issue: it should really be addressed proactively at weekly staff meetings, where things are reviewed and refined; now, in this case, I agree that xca could approach the other instructor and point out the discrepancy, provided he does so professionally, and try to resolve the disparity - it might even be a good way to mend some bridges, provided they can both drop the ego - it could generate some productive discussion; of course, they can do it with their sifu present, simply by showing him the two different ways, not mentioning who did what, and ask him which was the correct way;
hi
i think ur making a big deal out of nothing, hes a dousshbag maybe but no big deal get over it
all the things u say i just think “so what?”
i think if its from his point of view, maybe he wil say because you are beter skiled than him you look down on him and doesnt respect him
[QUOTE=BoulderDawg;929315]Saying that he can barely stop himself from punching the other person in the face is NOT acting professionally.[/QUOTE]
no - it is; the important thing is that he DIDN’T act inappropriately, even though he wanted to do so - that, in fact, is the definition of professional: holding your emotions in check even though you want to kill the other person; furthermore, he admits it, which suggests that he wants to figure out a way to resolve it without getting to that point again
[QUOTE=BoulderDawg;929315]So, let’s say he goes to his Sifu. Sifu listens and says “You’re crazy. Joe’s a great guy and does a good job.” You’ve kinda backed yourself into a corner with nowhere to go.[/QUOTE]
it all depends on how he presents himself and the situation - if he comes in all accusatory and confrontational, sure; if he comes in say “you know, Joe and I seem to be having some issues which I think is impacting my ability to do my job according to how I understand I am supposed to be doing it; maybe it’s just me, but at the same time, I would appreciate the opportunity to clear this up in a way that doesn’t create problems in the school” (or something like that)
also, if the teacher does take Joe’s side no matter what, then that tells him something as well - as in maybe this ain’t the place for him to work after all
If I owned such a business, and could lose my business over some of these issues, I’d want to know what was going on. I’ll judge whether someone is a tattle tale or merely being productive, but that’s my decision.
Exactly…
First, hit the point of sexist and condescending talk. That WILL drive off students.
Provide examples of when and how it was used. This is factual and not a “Look at how bad…he is and so mean” drama.
Now, if the person in question does the unprofessional behavior to others, then provide those as examples “I have seen this and this happen…and it leads to losing students…”
I have seen instances where the instructor was NOT a lettuce head but was unaware of how one of his assistants was sexist and condescending to all women in the school. Said assistant had been the cause of at least 5 female students leaving - much to the puzzlement of the head instructor. When the assistant’s behavior was pointed out, the head instructor was surprised, watched…and then took action to fix things.
The fix can be as simple as having a staff meeting and setting down the rules about :
No sexist references, keep your schedule, if you have to run over, let the following person know and end things as quickly as possible. Correct students this way and not this one…and then have teaching meetings to put out the way things should be taught.
In these meetings, no one is called out…and no one is embarrassed or made the issue…and then, once it has been made the rule…if ANYONE breaks the rule, they are dealt with one on one…
The CONVERSATION in managing people is virtually never fun…but is almost always necessary.
Approaching another student who you have a problem with CAN resolve things… and can also end up with a bigger problem.
Not sure what other people do, but in my teacher’s school, two students getting into it meant BOTH were out…
all i read from him are this guy does tiny things that he find rally annoying and offensive, i think hes being too sensitive
i really dont see the big deal with calling someone honey and aking u stay in class late
isnt xcakid a shaolin do guy?
if yuo can, you might want to bring it up casually with another student to see if this is an issue that others are experiencing. Be careful though, as this may blow up in your face if this student goes to that person and rats on you.
I like TGY’s advice.
Also-the senior students are the eyes and ears of the school. Sometimes the Sifu is the last to know, and the seniors need to inform him of situations that arise in the school, so he can nip it in the bud.
[SIZE=“6”]AND THEN CUT IT OUT, LIKE A CANCER![/SIZE]
Chemo is too good for cancer.
First thing I would do is talk to all the female students and ask them if they would like an alternative instructor to teach them, with the respect and focus that they deserve as individuals, not stereotypes. 
[QUOTE=Yum Cha;929335]First thing I would do is talk to all the female students and ask them if they would like an alternative instructor to teach them, with the respect and focus that they deserve as individuals, not stereotypes. :D[/QUOTE]
Just FYI: If I’m Sifu and you went over my head and pulled some kind of stunt like that you would not be at the school the next day. If wouldn’t matter how much validity was in your claim.
I did that. I placed a suggestion box in the bathroom. It’s totally anonymous, and private. No names. try that.