Re: Getting your students to relax !!
Hi Stuart.
I’ll offer a few thoughts, in case any of it may be helpful.
It is an understatement to say that we [me and mine] work very diligently on this aspect. An inability to properly relax (not inferring piles of putty) is one element of training that will, in our way of working, seriously impede one’s progress.
Through methods taught in our tradition, we have a high rate of success in getting people to understand what we mean by relaxation, and continuously improve it in their practice. These include:
- Use of the term "settle" more often than "relax" which seems to capture the essence a little better.
- [I]Slow[/I] and [I]relaxed[/I] SNT. 15 - 20 minutes minimum. Perfect positioning only, [B]no power![/B]
- Use of mirrors. The learner must learn to recognize their errors, in this case and initially [I]visible[/I] tension, and ultimately to self-correct.
- [I]Constant nagging![/I] In a nurturing way of course. :) This includes verbal reminders as well as [B]tactile[/B] assistance (e.g., patting or pressing the shoulders down, down, I mean DOWN, LOL).
Some of the most immediate signs that a person is not “settled” include shoulders up, any obvious tension anywhere, and a body that is “disturbed” or following the hands or feet, rather than the other way around.
In my experience and observation, it is far easier to get an over-relaxed person to put some substance back in, than it is for someone who is tense to develop correct positioning, sensitivity, timing, or develop our preferred method of power. A person who remains tense has the most and ongoing frustration.
Once a sign of tension or “trying too hard” is recognized (and we are always on the lookout!), a reminder goes out immediately. This is done constantly enough that the learners soon tire of hearing it, and learn to do it for themselves, LOL. In our sessions, partners are expected to help each other with such reminders.
Here are some other, albeit less traditional methods we have found helpful for triggering a relaxation response, especially for some unintentionally stubborn types:
- Have them give one or more heavy "sighs."
- Have them tense up tightly all over, then release.
- Play relaxing music and incense.
Regarding the last: we do not do this all the time. A pleasant atmosphere suits the purpose well enough for encouraging a relaxed mind and body after a long day’s work, and is, simply put, quite enjoyable. However, ever mindful that this is a “fighting art” I personally feel it is important for practitioners to learn to perform equally well under all circumstances and in all environments. This includes increasing degrees of pressure and unpleasant circumstances. Even in the absence of lilting music or pleasant fragrance. 
Balance in all things, and all things in balance, IMHO.
A person who cannot learn to relax, simply put, would not progress sufficiently in capability to properly learn the dummy set, in our way of practice.
It is not our wont to waste our or anyone’s time teaching people things they aren’t sufficiently capable to yet. The dummy cannot help but encourage someone with the “wrong idea” to the wrong practice, and I would strongly discourage or prohibit the person from using it till ready. For most of us, it takes quite a lot of time and diligence in practice before the “right idea” really begins to settle in.
It is almost universal that beginners are hungry to progress quickly, and concerned with things like speed and power. Some of my most cherished moments as a mentor and coach have been when our juniors came to the point of requesting no further new information as they felt they already had enough they needed to work on. This is when I know we are on the same path. 
This reminds me of a thread elsewhere on this forum, where folks were of the opinion that the system can be learned in something like 3 years. I’ve no doubt someone can learn the superficial aspects and choreography of the system in 3 years, but to develop real excellence demands a lifetime of patient and persistent practice, IMHO.
In a training session with my teacher a few months back, he was discussing the importance of a strong stance, and proper, patient practice of the first set. He said that in an ideal situation, the student would practice the SNT only for 3 years, before progressing to Chum Kiu and new material.
He also said this virtually never happens, because there wouldn’t be any students! We are all too impatient, and concerned with immediate gratification more than appreciation for long term excellence and the patience to achieve it. This perspective is in direct opposition to assertions that the system should be covered in 3 years or less. Kung fu is not my teacher’s “rice bowl,” and assumptions of money motive do not apply. The idea is to learn and develop our own superior and superb kung fu. It is no surprise to me that those impatient to learn, don’t usually stick around long with us.
He did say that he finally has one student, who by his own volition, has almost put in an ideally sufficient time to the first set before moving on. He is one of my sihings. While I won’t name names, he is indeed developing highly estimable skill. I admire him greatly, and have great anticipation to see his kung fu skill continue to unfold and become realized as he further learns to apply his hard earned skills.
My last rambling thought for getting others to relax, is that in this, and all things, we as leaders need to set the example ourselves. In my necessarily humble perspective, it is more important to set a proper example of how to train than try to impress with level of skill. Skill cannot be forced, but necessarily follows from proper practice. To be living examples of proper and diligent practice is perhaps the most important thing we can give.
Just a few thoughts from my experience and perspective.
Regards and best wishes,
Maybe a little too much relaxing? :rolleyes: