2 cents
When I stopped talking and started listening =)
Then when I was able to do something with what I heard!
Now I can dictate the conversation or just answer questions.
In the beginning we are enamored by ourselves, getting shapes and positions and making them as ‘’ perfect’’ as we can
At this stage we are only talking to ourselves not relating to the other person, no different then a fight were to people just crash force on force and try and will there perspective onto the other person
Then our shapes and postures and basic mechanics start to work together [empowerment stage] we can generate energy and flip from shape to shape, we feel the structure and see the results of it, but this still is not chi sau often speed and reflex will dictate this stage, we still are not relating or listening we are just reacting to predetermined reference points with in the confines of the drill [connected or disconnected, sticking or chasing /closing] this is the most common stage people stay stuck in for years , they think there improving but there just getting better at repeating fixed mechanics , problem is they can hit and create forward pressure and cut angles and all the fun stuff , still not chi sau , still
Ego driven still not really hearing what the other person is telling you!
Then some not all people let there ego go and learn to lose, they start to listen with there shapes instead of reacting they learn to accept what is offered, they flow with the energy and learn to ride the wave. This is the beginning of chi sau
People feel safe hear they can control and guide the people trapped in the earlier stages, often people stay stuck at this level and become chi sau ‘’ so called masters ‘’ they can impress you with there sensitivity and make you feel off balance turn there power on and off be heavy as a mountain or empty like air all while the less skilled go wow!
To get the final stage were real growth is you must be willing to take chances, kind of blend all the stages together, the clarity of structure the ego/selfishness of speed and power guided by the experience and calmness given by sensitivity, all things must gel
As in a fight we need to take risk, we need to be selfish, but we calculate the risk as best we can by the skill and confidence that comes from experience
The last and most important part is you character that will dictate the expression of the skills you apply, some people are show men [I’m a bit of a ham] some are very serious, some don’t ever really want to hurt anyone
This is when you are being honest with yourself and good at chi sau
These skills are the skills you carry over into fighting but that is another level all together 
Scoring on your seniors means nothing
