New studies conducted at Rolls-Ralek University indicate that good old-fashioned American Arm Wrestling may be a far superior fighting art to that of the ancient Chinese martial science of Kung Fu.
In 3000 out of 3000 scientifically controlled Arm Wrestling matches 57 of China’s greatest Kung Fu exponents representing 33 of the art’s most deadly styles were soundly trounced by the Teamsters Union local 356 of Patterson, New Jersey last Friday at the City Hall 75th annual potluck dinner.
Jack Parr, koke oven supervisor, was quoted as saying, "Kung Fu just doesn’t have the grappling technique necessary to compete with the devastating power of a well executed “grab a guy by the hand and push his hand down onto the table” power push.
The coach for the Chinese team was quoted as saying, "Oh no! This really very no good. Against this “grab a guy by the hand and push his hand down onto the table really, really hard, we no can defense.”
Several of the Chinese athletes were rushed to a nearby New Jersey hospital immediately following the tournament for treatment of pulled tendons.
The Captain of the Chinese team had this to say:
“Union worker’s hands too fat to apply Dim Mak.” Real strength of American team lie in ‘cheeseburger’. Against double whopper with fries, Kung Fu cannot."
And so, sadly, on a smog filled day in Jersey, two thousand years of Chinese culture is laid to waste, relagated to the obsolescense of a modern-day, high calorie Western World.
Hardees will be opening its first oversees branch in Beijing this fall.
More news to come…
“Bruce Leroy. That’s who!”
[This message was edited by Bruce Leroy on 10-02-01 at 04:32 PM.]
Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge (he competes in Pride now) was an arm wrestler. Don’t mock the style, man. He was the guy that trapped Paul Herrera in a crucifix-type hold, and busted his eye socket with repeated elbows in his first UFC appearance
Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge was actually the promoter for the City Hall folks who arranged the pot luck. His star talent is Jack Parr, quoted above.
“Big Daddy” rocks!!
Big Daddy was quoted before the event saying, “These little Nips got a lot of learnin’ to do when it comes to hunkerin’ down like a real man and gettin’ it on Jersey style. There’s gonna be a world-a-hurt in Beijing tonight! I can promise you that!”
Later Big Daddy was seen collecting stock promisary notes from the Chinese team after their defeat for his share in the Beijing/Hardees venture.
Big Daddy responded to a line of questioning on the matter with, “little bastards might not be worth the rice cake they’re made out of but their ch!nk money’s good enough for me. HAHAHAHA.”
Those contests don’t prove a thing! The rules stated that eye gouges and groin strikes were illegal at that event! Of course Kung Fu cannot win if its best techniques are taken away!
Nobody said that, it’s just a joke. It’s not a real quote from Goodridge.
JWT
If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV
On a side note, I wish CMA people would stop mentioning eye gouges and groin shots as the only thing that makes kung fu effective. It so much bigger than that. What really makes cma styles effective is it’s variety of movement. It is the worlds first “Mixed” martial art(at least in some styles). What I’d like to see is someone compete with something more than just marginal striking technique. It may be very powerful, but it still looks clumsy and simplistic. In this mentality striking is a 50/50 crapshoot. Where is the finesse? Where is the accuracy? Where are the pin-point strikers that don’t miss? Where is the speed
If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV
The whole thing’s a joke, man. It’s flattering that you took it seriously though. Hope I didn’t cause too much of a distubance.
Tigerstyle,
Hysterical anger! Glad you liked the address.
Kung Lek,
Hilarious style names!
The racist quote was made up as you probably know. The whole point is that the guy (character) is supposed to be an a$. That’s what’s so funny. There really are idiots out there who think this way. To acknowledge the folly of our humanity is comedy. I’m poking fun at rascism itself here.
By the way, if you thought it would be funnier without the rascist dissing why did you yourself use: “Hong Key Fool”? Were you mad and making a point?
Lemme know. Maybe I misunderstood your post. Anyway, cheers! All in good fun!
Originally posted by
[B]Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge (he competes in Pride now) was an arm wrestler. Don’t mock the style, man. He was the guy that trapped Paul Herrera in a crucifix-type hold, and busted his eye socket with repeated elbows in his first UFC appearance
Jaguar Wong [/B]
If someone busted my eye socket, I think I’d cry. But I guess it’d have to be out of the other eye, huh?
He was the guy that trapped Paul Herrera in a crucifix-type hold, and busted his eye socket with repeated elbows in his first UFC appearance
Glad you liked the address. 