The “TMA is too deadly for the street” people. You know them because they say things like "TMA is way better than MMA. The only reason TMA people suffer loss after loss is because they can’t use any real techniques in the ring. You know, no iron palm, or eye gauges, or chin na (the small joint kind)
The “MMA owns TMA” people. These people say things like “TMA sucks because TMA’ists lose every time in the ring.” They usually train in MMA themselves and could probably beat most people on the board.
The fortune cookie wisdom masters. These people contribute little, because their answers to everyones questions are in the form of cryptic, psuedo-Chinese master babblings. Someone might ask the question “does anyone have any strategies I can use to improve my sparring?” and the fortune cookie wisdom master might reply “Ah, the dragon who sees his own breath will not be left behind.” Noobs may be in awe at the seemingly in depth answer, but from everyone else it will just get a collective “wtf? stfu!”
The “my skills are incredible” poster. This person may or may not even practice a martial art in real life. However, on the forum, they are the grand ultimate master who easily defeats opponents all the time. They might (claim to) have an iron palm that can break 10 bricks with no spacers, be able to shoot chi-blasts, used to live in China and trained with a master so secret they can’t even mention his name, etc. This person is usually a TMA who has stories of defeating practicioners of all other TMAs, as well as MMAs. They say that weight lifting is no match for traditional kung fu strength building exercises.
The “empty cup” poster. This person is awesome and regardless of his or her level of experience, always has an open mind about everything they hear.
The lurker. Unknown levels of experience. Unknown styles. May be a 10 time nhb champion or someone who is just becoming interested in MA. But since they don’t post, they’re lurkers, and we don’t know who they are.
Trolls. They make the board fun sometimes. Usually they’re *******es, but every once in a while you get a good one. They’re still *******es, tho. They like to start sh.it, and then let people argue for a while, and then come in in the middle and say the opposite of what they declared before. They either plan it that way, or they’re the most illogical, short-term memory-deprived people on the internet.
The leg humpers. You can tell a leg humper because as soon as a female announces her presence, all the leg humpers reply in 0.00000001 seconds. Little do they know the “female” is probably not a female. Notice how threads by someone whose username includes “chick,” “girl,” “grrl,” or something of the sort will quickly be filled up by replies from the leg humpers.
The blooming lotus - this person knows nothing at all, but is convinced they know everything. When proven wrong, even in the face of numerous sources of independant evidence, they will still claim to be right and stick to their own twisted lunacy. They claim to have numerous skills and abilities that they quite evidently, even from an internet forum, do not have. They are a complete pain in the arse.
I noticed some people only train once a week in mma and claim mma owns all styles or mma is unbeatbale and they think they are experts on what works and what doesnt even though they never were exposed to other styles outside of a ufc video.
Serious Harm put it nicely on bullshido:
basically the whole internet martial art community is stuck in what Bruce Lee would call "the classical mess.
Originally posted by Serpent 9. The blooming lotus - this person knows nothing at all, but is convinced they know everything. When proven wrong, even in the face of numerous sources of independant evidence, they will still claim to be right and stick to their own twisted lunacy. They claim to have numerous skills and abilities that they quite evidently, even from an internet forum, do not have. They are a complete pain in the arse.
leave blooming lotus alone, what has she done that deserves this hostility? And IronFIst why don’t you name a poster for each one of your classifications?
Originally posted by joedoe What about the average Joe who just comes here to see what is happening and maybe learn something along the way?
That was type 5. Altho I guess I implied that this person already has some MA knowledge, so your classification is good and valid. Type 10. Nicely done.
“rare style/weapon hunter” always blither blathering about “scandinavian wrestling this” “turkish sabres that” “i have combined my tkd with some olde english boxing i learned from pics on the internet”
How about the “MMA/BJJ pontifier” who,out of his great kindness and unconditional love for TMA mankind,accept to teach the lower kinds how they could make their Kung Fu work in MMA competitions…
14ish. the people who know exactly what they’re talking about, make perfectly logical sense, shares their expertise generously, yet get sick of the bs and decide to bail on us and go write a book on exercise science and training. these dirty bastages are often named after characters from hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy.
Hangs about on all the MA forums, doesn’t practise anything and cuts valid things other people say about all MA to be pasted in another forum under his own name. Comes across as a fount of all knowledge till he gets rumbled. Also posts loads of random clips of martial arts, none of which he can identify.
The Fat Old-timer (AKA the Original Keyboard Warrior).
He did elite hardcore D3@d1y taichi for twenty years, but somehow never managed to make it, and now is ‘having a bit of dispute with the teaching style’ of ALL of the local taichi teachers, drinks a lot, and sits behind his keyboard pontificating on life the universe and everything, esp how dangerous he would be if pushed, how bad politics are in X (pick any country he’s never been to) and how there’s no such thing as chi, but he’s seen some pretty strange things in his time, and how he used to shoot at barns with an air gun when he was a kid so he knows all about home defence.
Originally posted by Palmer So Ironfist where do you put yourself from your list?
Let’s not forget
The Pointed Noob.
Comes on, posts lots of pointed questions without revealing anything about himself, then disappears in puff of smoke up his own ass when he decides he’s too elite/mature/knowledgeable/pwnd to stay here.
Er hi Palmer, welcome to the board!
The Kick-ass Noob.
Comes on with the best intentions, after training for forty years in the special forces, with the most scientific modern AND traditional styles, with compassion, maturity and a world of exp, then somebody says ‘How can you say you know that a bigger guy will beat a smaller guy in an otherwise equal set of factors?’ or some other dumb **** and he disappears.
The Dirty Great Noob.
Comes on, says ‘Hi I’m looking to train martial arts i’m really realy seriouos how do i gget to shaolin i7ve got lots of exp one day i was beatne to **** by my aunt who tried to rape me in the trailer and i leraned some ninjitsu by studying charts ina assida kum book i think that was his name so how do i get to the shaolin temple and do they teach real ninjutsu and how do i know if what they teach is the real deadly skills if bruce lee was alive he’d kick their asses cos i saw it on k1 so please does anyone have any ideas and is china really a big dangeous place and do they eat dogs/rape strangers/let you out of the country/and can i get a job teaching the prime minister english?’ then disappears again in the Buddhist cycle of trailer park samsara.
Blooming Lotus.
A bit like number 19, but really really stupid. and doesn’t ****ing go away.
