Shaolin Ranting Two!!

Wai Jia: The Kung Fu Forum Shaolin Kung Fu
21

okay but seriously now…

…what’s the deal with those finger twisty things, and how come my hollowed out eggshell smoke bombs A: do not produce smoke, and B: constantly crack apart in my ninja suit? When I’m out sneaking around, I leave a trail of eggshell. It’s embarassing as any samurai worth a **** can track me.

Also, I ordered the climbing claws, and when I first tried them out on my neighbor’s tree (she’s hot and showers regularly at 9:45PM every night) my foot claws kept bending straight, or worse, would not disengage easily from the tree trunk and my tabi kept getting pulled off. It was easier to just jump up and grab a branch like I always do. maybe I will return them for the grappling hook.

Is that wise.

22

Sounds like you lack a traditional ninja shifu.

23

no way…

my ninja master is very traditional…I know this because he has a picture of himself with Sho Kosugi hanging on a tree under the leafy bower we train in.

He also has razor blades tied in his hair, and when he executes a move, wild guitar solos and hot babes start tearing the place up.

24

ninjas are totally sweet

Don’t be dissing ninjas. :mad:

As you know, www.MartialArtsMart.com sells gear for all styles, Kung Fu, TKD, Karate and you’d be amazed how much ninja gear we sell. Amazed. We don’t sell the egg bombs tho - get your ninja gear here.

25

What’s up Richard Sloan? LOLO I love these rantings because there is more than a grain of truth to them yet they are twisted at the same time. I knew you would appreciate it the way I did when I first read them. Lets hang some time. Have you been Special water Training lately?

26

Whatever Gene.

27

Mortal,

I heard you trained for a year at the Wushu Guan. What was that like? Did you learn any new quans?

28

Yeah Anthony, Hail Up!!

The rantings are funny. Hey it’s a rich vein, there’s always a few sides that don’t get sounded out though that I guess aren’t that funny.

I been doing a lot of special water training- mostly in Jamaica. Just got back from the Blue Mountains. God’s country if there ever was one. Got stopped at a roadblock too. Cops told me to drop my pants. I was like, what the fÚck? No way…they insist. I am like, what the fÚck is going on here…drop my drawers?I’m in the middle of the street. I’m like hey man, listen, you’re the first guy who has ever asked me to do that, okay? So they turn to the driver and go, “Okay, you drop your pants…we’re gonna search you.”

So he dropped his drawers and then they made a big show, like they were gonna do a magic trick, presenting their hand for us all to see, then he reached over, and dramatically took hold of the guy’s underwear band and shook it vigorously several times while his pants were down around his ankles. Then they went to Leroy, who had a dime bag on him, and searched him. There was a fat cop and a skinny cop. The skinny cop turns to me and says, “Don’t worry.” I nicknamed him Bobby McFerrin.

After they got through searching Leroy, they gave him back his knife and told him to stand on the other side of the road and Costello had the dime bag, palmed. I was like, watch this guy plant this sh!t on me. What does he think, I was born yesterday? So the guy goes, “Okay, so where are you from?” I’m like, “I live in NY city.” Then they start asking me trick questions- do you want to speak for the whole car? Do you all know each other? I pretended I didn’t understand them. Now the skinny cop points the M-16 at me, and Costello goes, “Okay- drop your drawers.”

So I’m like, “Hey…this is different now, Ok? You’re not asking me, the gun is…so…” so I drop my pants and they do the magic trick, shake out my drawers. I turn to the driver and go the gun has a big mouth, you know?

Next thing I know, they got Leroy in bracelets in the back of their car. I thought that was weird, cause I saw that they gave him back his weapon before he crossed the road.

They say they’re gonna charge him. They drive off, and after a bit they pull down a side road with me and Dan following. Trust me, I did not want to spend any amount of time in the Trelawny station house, but I didnt want to pull down a side street into the bush either. I figured Leroy had gotten a little lippy and they were gonna tune him up. After some gesturing back and forth, Leroy comes running down the road, free. The knife thing bugged me though, so I had a feeling they were just shaking him down for cash, and never intended to go through with the arrest or else why would they gave him back his blade, but hey you never know what the hell can happen down there. From what I know, maybe you NEED a blade in Jamaican jails.

I would love to take SYM’s upstate temple plan and bring one there too. I have a few farmers lined up already. Not the special smoke kind, heh heh heh, the banana and mango kind…

Gene, what’s your biggest seller as for as ninja suits go? Please say Camo.

Whatever though, everyone knows it don’t count to buy one, you have to make it yourself. I wouldn’t mind getting one with a chain mail treatment on the hood though…those are ill.

29

jamaica niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

sounds like you got a good dose of jamaica niceness, rs. ja is crazy, but i love that reggae.

we don’t carry the camo ninja uniforms. we used to carry the white, but that didn’t sell at all. we only sell the traditional black. the only camo gear that we sell are ranking belts. they do ok. there are enough schools that use them so it’s worth it for us to carry them. our biggest ninja selling item is probably our rubber stars. they’re cheap and great fun at parties. :wink:

30

reggae…

…the island is on FIYAH right now…many dope riddims…we just get a small taste- it is a sight to behold when a dancefloor full of Jamaican chicks erupts…

Can’t wait to go back…

31

shakes the heart of my bottom

Nothing like a soundclash in 'yard.

We had a good rasta summer here in CA - lot s of great festivals and tours - but I’ve been pretty out of touch with the JA happenings. Maybe you could PM me some recommendations?

Shaolin Rasta unite!

32

who Jah bless I say no man curse…

…right now I am rocking a lot of Sizzla.

Solid as a Rock is cranking over the Cuss Cuss riddim…there are 3 remixes out there that are ruling it as well, one on the Bonecrusher Riddim, and one on the 50 Cent Many Men riddim…I rewind that sucker about 10 times every time I play it, it is that ill.

Also, there is a riddim called the Cooly Dance- cooly is a somewhat derogatory term down there, has to do with the Indian influence, but Jamaicans aren’t the most racially sensitive lot, and they sure as hell hate ****sexuals. They call everyone conversationally by their race. I am the White Man- also called Rude Monk dat, and Shaolin, but it’s pronounced Sharlin, heh heh heh. I’ve been working down there for YEARS, and this waitress still runs my tab as ‘The White Man.’ I never noticed. Then I looked for my name to sign off and couldn’t find it. I looked like 5 times. At first, I thought it was the bottle of Appleton I drank, but I just did not see my name. Then I look at where she was pointing to sign, and there it is, “The White Man.” I was like, WHAT!!? I go, Anika, how long have we known each other? Like 3 years right? And you put my tab under ‘The White Man?’ So I signed it, “The White Man.” Jesus we got a good laugh about that the next day in the office.

Two years ago the TOK song Chi Chi Mon was raging, and all these spring breakers just loved the chorus, but they had no idea what the song was actually about, so there they are, singing at the top of their lungs, about murdering gays…kind of priceless. It always amazes me too when a song like that gets airplay…can you imagine if it wasn’t patois the sh it storm that would erupt…

Speaking of murdering gays, Buju Bonton (Boom Bye Bye) is also making a big push right now, the Bad Company riddim has some great treatments…Beenie Man’s response to Elephant Man’s Pon de River Row Like a Boat…Beenie also has a good one cranking on Miss Thang, bombaclot, that is hot…

Beres Hammond has some nice stuff too, I am feeling a song called Rockaway, Sizzla has some heavy weight stuff out right now, as I said, on the Queen Majesty riddim is a tune Just One of Those Days, very very good. This has to be some of his best work.

Sanchez- Frenzy…Warrior King Virtuous Woman, sort of a same kind of deal as Sizzla’s Black Woman and Child.

Oh yeah…I forgot Morgan Heritage, Down by the River. The Surprise riddim is a real seething riddim, Elephant Man has a good one on it, called Jamaica, and Bounty Killer rides it also.

And I can not forget Tanya Stephens It’s a Pity, on a sort of revamped Gregory Isaacs Night Nurse riddim, that is a heavy heavy jam and she is very underrated.

I’m sure you know all about Sean Paul, but what a lot of people don’t know is that the Neptunes are producing Supercat’s new album. I will have a heart attack if that is not ill.

33

rude monk dat

wow, thanks and praise for the rundown. i have been behind on my reggae. i liked morgan heritage. still deciding on sean paul and elephant man. their videos are getting a lot of airplay. it’s amazing how much pop cross over there is now, with no doubt, pretenders, etc. that’s a good sign, definately.

i’ve been listening to anthony b, and a nice little acoustic in-store that burning spear did locally. also been into prezident brown, since i got a chance to hang with them at the sierra nevada music festival. but i haven’t been listening as much as i used to.

34

dancehall, rockers, roots, and shaolin. who’d ever make that connection? I’ve been so out of it, I haven’t heard much since the backyard rhythm and not much since the pepperseed before that. These bootleggers at the subway station need to get on point with the up to date stuff. I used to be able to get super slice locally off the radio, that was my only fix. Although there’s several stores I could go to, I’m cheap so I won’t buy. Although this weekend there’s a pretty big local sound clash with like four different sounds spinning, I don’t know where, I just seen the posters all over the telephone polls. Anyway enough dribble from me, you guys know any sites that I can download some hot stuff from?

35

Let’s stick to the topic guys. Exchange phone numbers if you want to have some conversation about reggae. So Gene do you think some of the monks are gay?

36

Gay monks…

… I doubt it. China is pretty opposed to ****sexuality, in general. I imagine some ****sexuals probably enter Buddhist monkhood to escape persecution, or to resolve their own personal issues, but they probably don’t end up at Shaolin. It’s probably too rough there - they would do better at another temple.

As for Shaolin rastas, in '96 I brought some reggae tapes in hopes of being the first person to bring reggae to Shaolin Temple. I mixed up mostly classics, Marley, Spear, roots Reggae. But when I got there, there was some kid from French Polynesia who was constantly blasting his Alpha Blondy tapes. Stole my fiyah. And to top it off, he was a better martial artist than me too.

I do take credit for throwing the first dancehall at the Shaolin Wushuguan. I was co-leading a tour to Shaolin comprised half of Bermudans and one Jamaican. So I mixed up a little tape and threw it on during a party at that old Kareoke Bar in the Wushuguan dorm. I even worte it up a little in our SEP 1999 issue, the 37th Chamber of Shaolin. I got a lot of flack about that article from people who couldn’t imagine Shaolin being anything else but what Carradine saw in his flashbacks. Those people are still complaining… obviously. :rolleyes:

37

Am I the first person to have smoked a joint while sat on the steps of the Shaolin temple?

38

gene…

…I am transmitting my phone number using Stephen Hayes’ third finger twister…let me know if you get it…

Shaolin Monks practising same style?

Karaoke. Jesus I wish I had brought some mixes, what a great idea…

39

john and richard

john - You’re the first to have admitted it. :wink: Noticed the native vegetation on mount Song, have you? Now you know how Tamo could sit staring at a rock for nine years.

richard - One my last trip, the Kareoke bar at the Wushuguan was closed. The whole Wushuguan is under massive rennovation - I discuss it in the Shaolin Special 2003. I think the only place to do kareoke will soon be Dengfeng. In fact, in the city square, there are dozens of kareoke booths set up at night - what a wailing! Cacaphonic.

40

Brother- I have no idea about any websites that have reggae to download- I play vinyl so that does me no good, but the selectors in JA are ripping cds like they are going out of style, so there must be some source of their piracy…they sure as hell ain’t paying for it.

if you are into wax a good resource that has nice sound files so you can hear what you want is http://www.turntablelab.com/index1.html

it’s mostly vinyl, it isn’t exactly the best source for reggae but the sound files can’t be beat- that seems to be a lost cause with any other online reggae resource- which if you don’t know the riddims or the tunes can be almost as infuriating as going through stacks and stacks of 7s that are in no order but haphazard.

Gene- you mean they finally patched the hole in the floor? That gave extra incentive to jump higher in xuanfengjiao…what is the world coming to when the wushuguan gets a new carpet and a coat of fresh paint.

As a dj, I was embarassed to not have brought at least one freakin mix tape with me.

I actually scored big one night when we snuck out of the hotel in Beijing. The cab driver took us to a loop of Karaoke bars, but there were some real numbers walking by. I knew there was no way these ladies were all decked out like that to go sing karaoke- so we resolved to follow the next group. Sure enough, we downed our beers real quick and followed the next group that walked by. Man, what legs, and such hair. It was a pack of chicks that could give Zhang Ziyi a run for her money.

We followed them through the maze of karaoke bars and lo and behold, there behind everything was a full blown nightclub. Amazing.

Apparently Oakenfold had played there just last week.

Oh yeah, and there were ninjas all over the joint.