Saw Spiderman this weekend.
I love technology.
Those of you who don’t remember, Spiderman was originally a cartoon with an infectiously catchy tune featuring the classic lyric “..listen, bub, he’s got radioactive blood…,” (The Firm would be the next band to attempt to utilize radioactive in a rhyme, with questionable success). That cartoon was about this kid in a red suit endlessly falling off buildings before commercial breaks, then, after the break, he would be at least seventy feet higher than he was before the break and have plenty of time to save himself.
Next, Spiderman appeared alongside what were called his “Amazing Friends”. At this point, it was clear that fame had gotten to Spiderman’s head, as he hardly ever appeared anywhere near his Amazing Friends, but relegated them to the second half of the show.
In between those two, there was a live action version of Spiderman. In this version, Spiderman liked to stare blankly at the camera. Many believe that this was due to his Spider Sense tingling under the impending inevitability of cancellation. Ironically, the Captain America show under the same producers fared no better, even with an indestructible shield made of clear plastic.
[NOTE: I am told that Spiderman was first a comic book, but I think we can rule out this theory, as nothing as potentially cool as Spiderman could possibly involve reading, even in little balloons. Just ask any kid, reading is just soooo uncool.]
Well, after years of rehab, Spiderman decided to have another go at it, and he really meant it this time. He got a big budget and put together some fine special effects, but unfortunately, he came into work one morning, and fundamentalists had blown up his set. He was able to find what was left of them, punched them a few times in order to subdue them(hey, like a disembodied head never attacked Spiderman before-he’s got to play it safe), and left them in front of the police station.
So, he filmed the movie again.
And it was good.
Willem Defoe as Green Goblin completes this movie, and let me tell you, this green goblin can put on a beating better than an abusive parent on a scotch and cocaine bender. Even out of costume, DeFoe looks like the dad from hell, and those who have seen Wild At Heart will be able to really feel the DeFoe dementia at work.
There’s also a beautiful woman named Mary Jane in the movie, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one in that theater who wanted to light her head on fire and suck on her toe. Or maybe I was. Anyway, she was beautiful, and like any good Mary Jane, she gave me cottonmouth.
Aunt May is a lot more plumpy than the original Aunt May, but I’d still take a go at her.
The best thing about this movie is spider man swinging around New York. Its phenomenal, breath taking in every way. This is one to see in the theaters, as I suspect it will lose something on the small screen. It also sticks fairly well to the basic Spiderman plot. I would have liked more of the type of camera work used to infer spider sense, but that’s just me, and it didn’t detract from the movie in any way.
All in all, I give Spiderman four and a half out of five radioactive spiders. Like any good Willem DeFoe movie, its got swinging, Mary Jane, and a lot of poor parenting. And its a good one for the kids.
