Thank YOU guys for listening and reading.
And for all your helpful posts.
I appreciate it. 
Ryu
“One who takes pride in shallow knowledge or understanding is like a monkey who delights in adorning itself with garbage.”
People will have their opinions. You can live as the boy in the bubble–restricted (by yourself or circumstances) or Clark Kent–responsible use of your capabilities. The talkie, Lawrence of Arabia is a good guide for your situation.
After your meditating, you will come to see two choices. I’m suggestng which to take. Take the third and plead the fifth. And get used to paradoxes. The third is something else. Third is “I don’t know.”-Vauderville, Abbot and Costello-Camel cigarettes.
While tomorrow always comes yet never arrives, there have been thousands of years worth of tomorrows and todays. Death is not an option when there is an absence of revelation. When you can’t take it anymore it becomes tolerable about a minute or so after that. Gining-up is not an option.
Enjoy. Have Fun.
I No_Know
Very some such, perhaps might have been, likely say some, some not.
Ryu…
Dude, if I self analysed myself as much as you do (which I do) and had the urge to write it all down (which I do) and did it in a way which was interesting and readable to others (which i don’t know if I could but haven’t tried yet) then I would send it in to Cyberkwoon or some similar site, and get some free members admission for my time. Or even just the satisfaction of writing about what I love.
So why don’t you do that?