[QUOTE=goju;1005942]**** this thread makes me never want to have kids or get married:eek:[/QUOTE]
Smart man. If you want a wife and/or kids you should head to another jurisdiction to have them.
And remember… the moment you don’t hold something in reserve.. you become boring to her.
ALWAYS keep some secrets, some hidden tools, some things she doesn’t know about. That way the sly smile is truthful and she will be happy, trying to figure out what she doesn’t know.
Being happy knowing something entirely is more often a masculine trait. Women like not knowing, and not admitting it.
Half the reason many women are attracted to “bad boy” types is because they hold something back, they aren’t trustworthy.
Think of it as a Yin-Yang duality riddle.
By pretending to be bad, she thinks (eventually) you are good. By pretending to be good, she thinks (eventually) you are bad.
The problem with the present law is that it’s built to constrain bad men, who cannot truly be kept in check by the system. And it makes the good men the system Can constrain into victims.
[QUOTE=uki;1005924]LOL… and he’s in 11th grade?? i was kinda feeling for you for a momemnt until i got to this sentence… what a ignorant mindset to have - like you have quit or given up on your son. i marvel at the lack of faith you have in the concept of natural harmony and balance… then again maybe i am the one who is out of touch with YOUR reality. i live a life where it is perfectly flawed, because this is where the lessons are taught and learned - where we evolve on a level of matured experience… anyone who might have known me when i was 18 would have thought that i was pretty ****ing lost in life too, but it’s when we become hopelessly lost, that we discover our true self… each of us has a purpose in life, to lose faith in that is about as ignorant as one can become… please excuse my rant. :)[/QUOTE]
Hi Uki,
He will be 18 in less than two months, is failing every subject in school but two, has excessive absences and is on Probation for striking a police office.
Yeah, I’d say his life is going very well :rolleyes:
He certainly could make something of his life, and I hope he does, but not at the way things are currently going.
I have not given up on him, just am not going to waste my time reaching out if it is not wanted. Doubtless, he will learn the hard way. As his father I just wish it did not have to be that way.
Also, I have never regretted having children. The issues are not with them and they are a blessing no matter what…even my son
As his father I just wish it did not have to be that way.
We all wish for the better for our kids, but in reality lessons learned are usually bought the hard route. I had my issues in the past and had to learn from them, hard lessons, but ones that I will never forget. They are what shape us to be who we are.
I can kinda see what you are saying about “not reaching out” to your child anymore. Sometimes just letting life happen is the best. But Uki does have a point, don’t totally shut out his attempts or totally give up. Always make some kind of attempt for the sake of maybe, just maybe, you might get thought one day, after all he is your son.
[QUOTE=goju;1005942]**** this thread makes me never want to have kids or get married:eek:[/QUOTE]
I don’t know about the rest of these guys, but I was hoping that would be the yield of such a thread.
No little gojus!
That would just herald the end of the world.
also, Lee Chang Po makes perfect sense (another sign of the end of time i think! :eek: ) and I agree with his assessment.
I went through a custody battle as well.
be calm, stick to the facts and remain upright and don’t be a victim.
I’m reading a lot of emotional baggage in some of these posts quite frankly. Let that stuff go. You’ll get further without that unneeded burden on your back.
[QUOTE=uki;1005891]perhaps, but my girlfriend and i are not married and will not get married… if anything, a problem could arise because our three children have an entirely different last name than either of us.[/QUOTE] Why don’t they have either your name or hers?
[QUOTE=MasterKiller;1006071]Why don’t they have either your name or hers?[/QUOTE]we gave them a combined last name of our two last names… kinda like a mutant hybrid name… MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! seriously… we took the first 4 letters of her last name and the last 3 letters of my last name and smooshed them together to make a new name.
[QUOTE=Lee Chiang Po;1005940]You got to quite being a victim. If you act like a victim you will be victimized.[/QUOTE]excellent advice.
[QUOTE=Sihing73;1005964]Also, I have never regretted having children. The issues are not with them and they are a blessing no matter what…even my son.[/QUOTE]aye mate… children are a blessing in all their many shapes and forms…
[QUOTE=Dragonzbane76;1005969]We all wish for the better for our kids, but in reality lessons learned are usually bought the hard route. I had my issues in the past and had to learn from them, hard lessons, but ones that I will never forget. They are what shape us to be who we are. [/quote]more excellence!!!
I can kinda see what you are saying about “not reaching out” to your child anymore. Sometimes just letting life happen is the best. But Uki does have a point, don’t totally shut out his attempts or totally give up. Always make some kind of attempt for the sake of maybe, just maybe, you might get thought one day, after all he is your son.
back when i was 18, my dad pretty much gave up on me too… LOL… it’s nice to be able to smile and tell him "see, there was never anything to worry about… i learned my lessons on my own and am doing just fine now… a prophet once said, “if you love your children, you will let them go.”
[QUOTE=SoCo KungFu;1006197]Kinda crazy, when I posted this I didn’t think there would be much interest let alone so many similar stories…[/QUOTE]see what happens when you don’t think first?? LOL
despite the strife my ex has caused me, i will give her this… last year she completely cancelled all child support - the slate has been wiped clean… no more 500 dollars a month and no back arrears to pay off - obviously this was to make her look better to the courts. either way, i guess she figures i would quit or give up… LOL… i’m like a comet coming from behind the sun - when no one is paying attention thru all the glare… BAM!!!
He will be 18 in less than two months, is failing every subject in school but two, has excessive absences and is on Probation for striking a police office.
[/QUOTE]
that doesnt mean hes doomed. just for food for though, let me paint a picture for you.
at 18, i was already a high school drop out, was living on the streets on and off for several years at that point. had several dead end jobs but was not working. was involved with some very shady and bad people, was doing shady and bad things.
now, at 30, im a professional working adult in a position to develop a career in my field of work if i so choose. I decided by myself and for myself to change my life. I got my GED, I went through temp agencies and other dead end jobs until i was able to situate myself into a position where my good nature and work ethics would lead me to an opportunity. when the opportunity came, i took it. Now i’m doing well for myself.
i was an extremely troubled youth. i abandoned my family and they me at the age of 15. i wasnt perfect but i was NEVER supported by my step mother or mostly absent father.
the best piece of advice i could ever give you coming as someone who matured through a similar situation as your son is, just be there. stay open, and be supportive when he eventually, if he does, show an interest in turning things around. he may not want or need it now, but he will be grateful later in life that you remained open for him. I would have. i still have only spoken with my father since I was 15 once.
ive spent half my life without any family at all because my family gave up hope on me when i was still a kid…
I however did not come to this decision until i was 20. when things were the darkest, i finally saw the light. it wasnt until I had lost everything that i found the something worth fighting for. for some of us, we simply need life to teach us the truth.
[QUOTE=goju;1005942]**** this thread makes me never want to have kids or get married:eek:[/QUOTE]
Some of us are happily married with great kids.
Never be critical of something that people **** up, be critical of the people.
Marriage is a fine thing, between people that love and like each other, people that marry for the right reasons and people that understand that that what they see is what they get.
Too many people marry for all the wrong reasons then blame marriage, as if a THING can be blamed for what people do with it.
Sometimes people just grow apart and don’t wanna be with each other anymore, it can be just that simple, and in those case things usually happen in a amicable way.
Crap happens when people resent each other.
The problem with the law is that it is out dated and to often, politically motivated.
