Man i just went to my first funeral today, and man those things are sad and confusing, i had no idea how to act around my friends. So this was a funeral for 2 of my friends dad (they are brothers and i’ve known them since i was in denmark (when i was 3)). I went there with my parents (since they were friends of the deceased) and with my sister (who in the past few years has gotten to know the 2 brothers quite well through working with them even though she’s 5 years older then us).
So i go to the funeral, and i’m like “ok this is kinda sad” played beautiful songs and 2 Cat Stevens songs (his fav songs). Ok it was like sad and all but i didnt feel like crying or anything (weirdest thing i havent cried since i was 11), then the funeral was just about over, some people came to carry the cascet out and the relatives started walking out behind them (including the brothers) now they start playing Amazing Gracie (the church choir) as they walk out, and i see something i’d forgotten, i see the 2 brothers younger brother, who’s 11 and he’s crying like hell holding on to his mom walking out after the cascet, i had to bite down hard something just came flying up. Man that was so sad.
Then at the … ok i dont know the name for it but after the funeral everyone goes somewhere to say they’r condolences and eat cake. And there i just felt uncomfortable (sicne i’ve never been to a funeral and i had no idea what to do). So decided to followe my sister and just do what she did. So i see the brothers, they’r not as sad as in the church, but ok a bunch of people are there, and what seems to happen is they shake their hands and give them a light hug or bring them closer and pat them on the back, so does my sister, and i’m like “Hmm guess this is what to do” so i do and he moves away a bit and then i realize “oh great i guess that’s not what friends do” and i change it into a light pat on his hand (this was the first brother) so with the second one i just shake his hand. I felt like an idiot.
I’m going to avoid these things as much as i can in the future.
i been to five. i feel bad cos i ain’t never cried at one. maybe cos they ain’t been for family i guess yeah.
=================================
What we really need is chicks with a whole new kinda orifice - Fish
Sharky, I should expect this level of immaturity from you after seeing your post titled “Hm.” regarding the woman that lives next door to you. I think everyone who unfortuneatly read that post is a bit more ignorant now for doing so. - Spectre
All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.
I like the funeral in Akira Kurasowa’s “Dreams” or the New Orleans party ones. But funerals are a time to cry. Post industrialized Northern European cultures view crying as feminine. Which explains why you havent been able to cry since puberty.
You should relearn, just tell yourself its ok and do it. When the sky is overcast and the clouds dark, it will rain. If your culture told you that urine was obsene would you stop peeing? Of course not. Tears rid the body of impurities. In the 16th century a famous knight died and 100 other nights cried all day, many even fell off of their horses.
Your chakras will be way, way fuct up if you don’t release your emotions.
well seeing only america has thanksgiving and i live in Europe i wouldnt know how that feels (that and i have no idea how kentucky is, aparently they eat a lot of fried chicken).
don’t worry about feeling like an idiot. your buddies lost their dad, other folks lost a friend, and others lost a cousin, etc. their feelings were probably a little more amiss than yours.
just be happy that they appreciate you enough to ask you to come and know that your atttending probably made it a little easier on them, regardless of whether or not they’ll ever tell you.
yeah that was basicly it, i knew their dad but not a lot, so i was basicly sad for the ones still living, the 2 brothers knew it was coming for 2 months plus being pretty strong (mentallY) guys so they at least looked fine. But man their little brother, cant stop thinking about him.
i’ve felt uncomfortable at funerals just like that.
i guess i feel what i feel…but at times like that it seems that there’s an expectation to act a certain way and even feel a cetain way, and that doesn’t necessarily match the reality for me.but i feel like a real shitheal if i don’t “behave the right way”
i’m kind of used to them now, but i do feel uncomfortable.
___________________________________________________________________________ “I’m just trying to lull you into a genuine sense of security!”
At least you got to have Thanksgiving with your grandparents. We buried my grandfather the day before Thanksgiving. I was fine through it until the 21 gun salute and then they played taps, let me tell you it’s tough hearing that played at a funeral.
“God gave you a brain, and it annoys Him greatly when you choose not to use it.”
i’ve never cried at one, including my father’s, either. but i think i deal with death a little differantly than most people. i just figure i’m gonna be in the box one day too so it aint nothin but a thang.
the only death i would cry about is one of a child.
i don’t think i’d live long enough to make it to the funeral of my own child though. i have the utmost respect for anyone who has endured that tradgedy as i know i just don’t have the strength.
Well, it’s usually no fun, but at my father’s funeral all of the graves in the cemetery burst open and the living dead began to eat the brains of the onlookers. Of course, my dad started it, as he was always a bit of a “hell raiser”. Anyway, killin zombies is always kinda fun, since you get to yell stuff like “Get off my porch you zombie b@st@rds” while you swing your shotgun frantically.
So that’s cool.
JWT
If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV
If you pr!ck us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. MOV
been to too many too, as a pallbearer. I hate 'em but understand the need for the catharsis. Most people find it a little awkward, so don’t worry, i’m sure your friends just appreciated the gesture of respect & condolence
de ja fu - The feeling that somewhere, somehow you’ve been kicked in the head like this before.
(that and i have no idea how kentucky is, aparently they eat a lot of fried chicken).