FT
dont be sorry no need hahaha.
i understand what you say by " getting close to the real thing " however if the pretext of that is it is going to take the fear out of you then i would strongly disagree, it all comes down to individuality.
no matter how close you play to the " real thing " it is not the real thing. in the mind you always know that when it gets too close someone will/can come in and stop it. if you stuff up, then you live another day to re-think, re-plan, absorb and adjust.
to clarify on this i am not just talking about gung fu, in my previous job i trained daily for such matters, however i can assure you that each person took the position they played in a different light, but all had the one aim in common though, but in the end when things happened, i can tell you the stuff ups where not in the training, and this didn’t matter how much we trained.
i am not sure what you mean by " i kind of contradict myself on the 1st question ".
not to pre-empt your reply, however if you are eluding to where i say " nothing can take the shakes/fear out of you " then say " practice practice practice, i don’t see this as being a contradiction.
in basic terms what i meant was " if push comes to shove " and someone asks me how do you/i or whoever over come fear, practice “can” and i say only can assist in bring the mind to a balance, however since each person has their own makeup regarding the unknown/pressure/intensity etc, to say " reality awarness " will take fear away, to my view would not only be dangerous but self deluding.
we can practice and understand the results in what we do, however i am sure you like i, when you first hit someone in the stomach you expected to some degree a result of what you had been taught in the gwoon, however like all things they do not do what is expected, and although the skill displayed on your part was correct, you don’t know how the opponent will react and what skill they can take and for that matter how ept they are in taking " pain "
this is what i meant by fear, it is abstract and you can’t argue or debat on abstract, what you can do though is try to understand yourself.
something foundational though you as an individual can fall back on is your skill, in this you have protection not only physically but also emotionally, by practicing as the old sages have said, will not take fear away it my belay it but certainly not disperse it.
god, i gotta get of this soap box and go get some yum cha, hi FT if we can, still want to come your way if possable, you ok with that, but like i said won’t be till june ???
take care