I didn’t know where to post this thread as it may correspond to some other topics. I was wondering about your take on emotions and how you control your emotions in different situations, competition, real life fight situations, arguing and how do you handle before, in the middle and after. How qigong can help you and what kind of nutrition you have to strengthen your vital organs and becoming daring, without fear and helping you to control your emotions.
thanks,
[QUOTE=mig;1109312]I didn’t know where to post this thread as it may correspond to some other topics. I was wondering about your take on emotions and how you control your emotions in different situations, competition, real life fight situations, arguing and how do you handle before, in the middle and after. How qigong can help you and what kind of nutrition you have to strengthen your vital organs and becoming daring, without fear and helping you to control your emotions.
thanks,[/QUOTE]
You have 2 small glands about the size of the tip of your little finger on each side of the brain, just in front of the ears in the tender part of the temple, toward the middle of the brain. It develops or occurs a little different in size and activity in each individual. If it is really active the person is literally a coward. He simply can not overcome his fear. If it is under developed he will sometimes appear fearless. This is why sometimes when you get into a fight you are really scared until you get slammed in the side of the head, and if you are not knocked out you suddenly lose all fear and go at it.
When I was a young person I suffered from the Hong Kong, swine flu. The same as the latest one going around. I had a temperature of 106 for almost 3 days. This altered my brain. The doctor told my mom that I would be a turnip, but that didn’t happen. I don’t think. Anyway, it altered a whole range of emotions. I really didn’t come to realize this fully until I did a stint in Viet Nam.
[QUOTE=mig;1109312]I didn’t know where to post this thread as it may correspond to some other topics. I was wondering about your take on emotions and how you control your emotions in different situations, competition, real life fight situations, arguing and how do you handle before, in the middle and after. How qigong can help you and what kind of nutrition you have to strengthen your vital organs and becoming daring, without fear and helping you to control your emotions.
thanks,[/QUOTE]
Qigong can’t help you to control your emotions but your combat ability can. When you have a Walther PPK in your pocket and you know that you can kill if you have to, you will be very calm.
Can you see the difference in the following 2 pictures?
[QUOTE=mig;1109312]I didn’t know where to post this thread as it may correspond to some other topics. I was wondering about your take on emotions and how you control your emotions in different situations, competition, real life fight situations, arguing and how do you handle before, in the middle and after. How qigong can help you and what kind of nutrition you have to strengthen your vital organs and becoming daring, without fear and helping you to control your emotions.
thanks,[/QUOTE]
practice the following in the youtube.
Qigong and mind cultivation all based on the following.
lots of emotion are a waste of energy,
you have to learn to not hold on to it. how to do it is reveal in the youtube. simple stuffs as longs as you decide to do it anyone can do it.
In the ancient time, this is the practice of immovable mind. Keep doing it for 24/7/365 and one will transform.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFqg3L7jFxE&feature=player_embedded
Mind can never control emotion. so dont waste your time and forcing your mind.
For example, when you get a sexual high or an anger or rage, your mind cant do a thing, in fact the mind get the situation even worse. so, as in the utube. let go the thinking, just said I love you to what ever that emotion or thoughts…etc. Own it, let it be, and it will dissolve away. use that in daily life , your life quality will improve for sure.
Just remember when you practice it, dont think and dont expect, because think and expect get you back to your toxic state. if you just say " I love you" to anything you dont like IE emotion…situation…without thinking and expectation; the feeling and situation will shift after awhile. try it. keep doing it and it will shift away from all the trouble feeling return into peace. that is the key to go beyond mind and not trap by mind. it is the decision and action that get one out of one’s mind and emotion. not thinking, thinking cannot do it but get it worse, because " it is your best mind, get you into this mess. and if you keep using that “best mind” to think, that is like drinking with a toxic cup the more you drink the more you got toxic.
it is not about control, it is about let go the toxic and the awareness will handle the situation. the moment you want to control you are trap.
Thus, in Wing Chun Kune, it says, Come accept, Goes return, let go to move forward, using silence to lead action." see there is no Mind, control, thinking, in the above, but acceptance, let go, and silence or awareness.
Try the above youtube practice for a day, whatever whenever anything you dont like show up , keep says " I love you" to it until you feel shift into peace. you will like it for sure if you do it for aday, because a day later you will have the tool of handle yourself and situation better. which your mind and body doesnt know before. When you do it for 24/7/365 you have an immovable mind because you always in peace or can always get back to peace. that is Zen.
The above is just Zen express in Hawaiian way.
My Take.
Experience is the best teacher. Take on challenges. The more you experience something, the less disorienting it is. When things go bad, remember, you didn’t fail, you learned.
For me, spending years as a short order cook has taught me more about handling stress than any other practice I’ve done. Meditation, qigong, philosophy, they all help…but just dealing with trouble is the only way to really learn it.
[QUOTE=ShaolinDan;1118323]just dealing with trouble is the only way to really learn it.[/QUOTE]
Agree 100% there. If you can sleep in the grave yard for 30 days, you will never afraid of ghost for the rest of your life.
[QUOTE=Hendrik;1118279]practice the following in the youtube.
Qigong and mind cultivation all based on the following.
lots of emotion are a waste of energy,
you have to learn to not hold on to it. how to do it is reveal in the youtube. simple stuffs as longs as you decide to do it anyone can do it.
In the ancient time, this is the practice of immovable mind. Keep doing it for 24/7/365 and one will transform.
The above is just Zen express in Hawaiian way.[/QUOTE]
Let me briefly explain you about a particular situation. It is hard to control of your emotions when you deal with adversity as for example the custody or visitation of your kids and when your ex wants to control any situation where your kids are involved. Whenever you have a verbal conflict where you know you have little power your emotions hinder your mind to react or response correctly. It is a question of reasoning and seeing far beyond and gettring prepared of how to respond and do not create a conflict. That is the reason why I have hard time in understanding how you can control your emotions and I have found that if your kidneys and liver are balanced, I can see that your emotions won’t betray you. Hope I am clear. thanks
[QUOTE=mig;1118991]Let me briefly explain you about a particular situation.
It is hard to control of your emotions when you deal with adversity as for example the custody or visitation of your kids and when your ex wants to control any situation where your kids are involved.
Whenever you have a verbal conflict where you know you have little power your emotions hinder your mind to react or response correctly.
It is a question of reasoning and seeing far beyond and gettring prepared of how to respond and do not create a conflict.
That is the reason why I have hard time in understanding how you can control your emotions and I have found that if your kidneys and liver are balanced, I can see that your emotions won’t betray you. Hope I am clear. thanks[/QUOTE]
This is my experience for your reference.
Emotion is our Karma. How easy to change one’s Karma? very difficult.
Emotion is hard wire program into our physical such as Kidneys and liver and software such as “hot button” how easy to change that? very difficult.
When the emotion has started, if the thought kicks in that is just adding oil to fire. but we do that all the time, end up to get even helpless and blind. We thought we can handle emotion with thinking and reasoning, well, we cant. Emotion over write thinking.
lots of our disease are emotion hard wire, if we could de-wire, the disease will slowly clear itself out. But how easy? unless one determine to do it, it is impossible because no one can do it for us.
The way is to practice shutdown the thinking of wanting control, wanting to know, wanting approval, wanting to reason , wanting to know the outcome, wanting to know how to handle it, have expectations…ect. all the time until one reprogram the habit.
another words, one keeps stay in peace all day long and at anytime the emotion raise, one switches the direction of energy flow as how the youtobe shows — keep saying " I love you" to the emotion as long as it needs until the feeling/emotion…shift. and one will inspire with a fresh idea. However, without the emotion shifted, no matter how one likes to think or how difficult trying to think, one is always trap in the box and cant resolve the issue in satisfaction.
it is not an easy training, but the reward is big because one can remove the “hot button” or even if the " hot button" is activate, one can dissolve it.
Thus, it is getting beyond the mind, one needs to because emotion over write mind.
Those who is enlightent is just drop the emotion and get inspire without thinking with their old data in their mind which is the mind will tell you no way out.
To drop the emotion required Samadhi or stillness power. To get the wisdom means one needs to get it from inspiration instead of the old data in the mind.
So, it is a no win situation if one is not keeping 24/7/365 watching oneself, as soon as emotion starts, one deal with it right the way. and gradually, one transform oneself out of the past, or the karma changes.
As for the Kidney, Liver, Tripple heat Qi, one could practice the six healing sounds or massage to regulate them. however, that is not the key. the key is do we willing to drop the emotion and do we have the technics to do it. even if we begin with a balance Kidney and liver Qi we still can screw it up when our hot button is pushed, it is a matter of degree of disruption it is not the unconditional.
So, it is a big job to handle emotion. there is a saying, do you wanting to be right or willing to be happy? and if one willing to be happy instead of right, then there is way out. otherwise, it stucked already.
Practicing Qigong without the ability to switch energy flow is trouble. because once the emotion started, it already screw up our GPS. and whatever practice after that is just more screw up.
Say one sits in meditation and everything is balance, and one heard a loud noise and one get scared and anger started. Now what? one needs to stop the meditation imidiately and settle the emotion first. That is also where the Mantra reciting comes to play, anytime the mind-body get disrupted one switch to Mantra recitation.
So, even if one likes to use Qigong to balance the Kidney or liver Qi…etc. one still needs to bring one’s GPS back.
So, instead of all of the above theory…etc. I really encourage you to try saying " I love you " again and again until the condition shift and see for yourself insparation comes and your issue solve naturally with ease. you just need this experience once and you know you can have handle on emotion and then you will keep doing it, and before you know you changes and become happier. Try it you will like it. it is not any kind of religion but technics how to deal with ourselve.
all the reasons and theory are just doing no good if we cannot handle the issue with technic which is working.
Emotions are created by the mind, by your attitudes, expectations and interpretation of events. Emotions do not happen TO you, they are created by the mind through an identifiable process.
When you want something and get it, you are happy.
When you want something and don’t get it, you are unhappy.
When you don’t want something and get it, you are unhappy.
When you don’t want something and don’t get it, you are happy.
If you want something and are afraid you won’t get it, you are unhappy.
If you don’t want something and are afraid you will get it, you are unhappy!
When we understand and accept that everything in life is transitory and consequently choose not to cling to what is transitory, we avoid that which creates emotions, namely clinging to expectations/desires.
The difficulty is training our mind to no longer cling. Clinging is a habit, we learn it from earliest childhood. As adults this habit energy takes on a life of its own and seems to control us.
One way to take back control of your mind is too examine the process your mind has gone through to produce your present emotion.
For example. Let us say you get angry because someone pulled in front of you in their car on the highway causing you to become angry. What has really occurred? Something happened that you did not like. You wanted to proceed as you were and someone interfered with your progress. Perhaps you took the action as personal insult as well. In your mind you may think, “How DARE that person cut me off!” These two mental attitudes create your anger. It was not the action of someone pulling in front of you per se, that was the precipitating event, but it was your attitude and expectations, your perspective, of how you interpreted the event that made you angry.
This process is called introspection/reflection. Through introspection you may identify the mental attitudes, expectations and perspectives that create the emotions you experience. Once you recognize that it is not the events in your life that create your emotions, but your interpretations and expectations of those events that create them you may make a conscious decision to change your expectations and perspective. Once you do this the emotions associated with events will disappear on their own because you have eliminated their cause.
This is a process that each person may verify on their own by merely introspecting/examining their thought processes after an emotionally charge event has occurred. 
Hi Scott,
Thanks for your posting. I think I read a similar posting of yours reviewing the archives. Now, I am not clear on this. If all is transitory, then we should just let it go and accept the fact that one can be submitted by someone and just keep going to wait for something better?. I am believer that conflict may not lead anywhere if there is no agreement neither a compromise and by all means use your rights to fight back and get what you deserve. Here is where confusion starts when emotions are involved and it is difficult to confront a situation where logic fails.
Thanks,
Mig
exactly what Scott said;
here’s another way to look at it: typically, when something “bad” happens to us, we think “why me?”; however, when something 'good" happens to us, we don’t think that; so as a way to practice equanimity, the next time something “good” happens, try to think “why me?”, and then try to pursue this line of questioning and see where it takes you - now, this is not to get an answer per se, but rather using it as a means of investigating the operation of one’s mind - truly, one could do it when something “bad” happens, but when the “why me?” arises out of habit, it’s a bit harder to do dispassionate investigation - so perhaps it is easier to try it when something “good” happens; of course, one can do it when something “bad” happens as well; and, one can also do it when “nothing” happens - but this may be more difficult, as this would be akin to crossing the river without a boat - using the emotional reaction to get across the river is in a way easier than getting across without it, because if one realizes that one can get across the river without a boat, then one is very close to understanding that there is no boat, and no river - how dull! 
similarly, if one is in a difficult situation relationship-wise - either with oneself, one’s co-workers, one’s children, one’s spouse or one’s parents - these difficult interactions can either be viewed in and of themselves as something to be avoided, or rather as an opportunity to practice examining one’s mind - of course, again, when one uses them as such, then one in a sense looses the opportunity to feel justifiable self-righteousness when one feels unfairly set-upon by others; in other words, as one investigates the workings of one’s mind, one often realizes that we habitually engage in “negative” interactions not because they are things that we unwillingly encounter, but rather because they are nothing more than strong opportunities to reinforce our own self-righteous self-images! what better way to reinforce the ego-construct than to have to “defend” it from those who seek to break it down!
as such, while we may complain bitterly about all the strife we encounter and wish we had better friends, co-workers, lovers, children, parents, spouses, if we examine the mind, we will see that ALL of these relationships are not there by accident, but rather because we choose each and every one of them, and then devote significant energy to maintain them - and we do this because, frankly, we like our lives a little bit spicey - if everything went on seamlessly without strife, it would be a rather “bland” existance (or so we project it would be)…and this because we “fear” boredom, because when we allow for spaceousness, we are left only with ourselves as they truly are, not how we project ourselves to be - and coming to see who we truly are without preconception is scary, because ourselves “such as we are” does not respond to dressing up - ourselves such as we are are as such - they cannot be improved, because the “true” self is not subject to hierarchical maneuvering - it is simply as such - can’t get any better, can’t get any worse, because it operates outside of that
so, if all we did was to get along with everyone, our self-image starts to blur - we start to loose the boundaries that we set-up to increase our sense of self-distinction; and then we come face to face with 'who" we are, without the bells and whistles; of course, this is a wonderful opportunity, because it allows us to finally “make friends” with ourselves - to understand without filtering who we are, what we are - and from there, we find can see the boundless sea from which compassion arises…
The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.
. . .
Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, “You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be.” And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you.
[QUOTE=mig;1119059]Hi Scott,
Thanks for your posting. I think I read a similar posting of yours reviewing the archives. Now, I am not clear on this. If all is transitory, then we should just let it go and accept the fact that one can be submitted by someone and just keep going to wait for something better?. I am believer that conflict may not lead anywhere if there is no agreement neither a compromise and by all means use your rights to fight back and get what you deserve. Here is where confusion starts when emotions are involved and it is difficult to confront a situation where logic fails.
Thanks,
Mig[/QUOTE]
Hi mig,
There is not a simple answer to your question, if I am understanding it correctly. I will try to answer what it appears to me you are asking!
Everything is context dependent. That is, how you respond to each circumstance is going to change depending upon the circumstances.
Everyone gets submitted sometimes. If you are submitted in a competition, that is different than being submitted in a street altercation. How you feel about fighting in a street situation will be different than how you feel in a competition as well. But lets take it one step further, how you feel when you are wrestling a 5 year old will be different than how you feel when you wrestle in a street fight and how you will feel when you wrestle in a competition. What is the difference in how you feel between all three?
The difference is in how you view each circumstance. Even though each circumstance involves wrestling, each one will be viewed by you differently according to its context.
You are confident when wrestling a 5 year old. You will win, therefore you have nothing to lose emotionally. When you have nothing to lose emotionally you feel no fear. You cannot lose so you will not lose face should you lose, because you cannot lose unless you want to, and you cannot gain accolades if you win because, after all, you are wrestling a 5 year old. So, because there is nothing to gain and nothing to lose, you have no fear or anxiety.
When you compete you want to win. That alone will create in you feelings. You WANT a specific outcome to occur so you have an emotional investment in the outcome. You stand to gain something you want if you win and lose something you do NOT want to lose should you lose! This emotional investment will create fear and anxiety because you want to gain something and don’t want to lose other things.
The same occurs with a street fight. You have something to gain if you win and something to lose should you lose. Once again, the emotional investment you have creates the fear and anxiety.
In any given situation, the more your emotional investment the more fear/anxiety you may feel. But this also, is influenced by perspective. Someone who is afraid of losing will experience different feelings than someone who HAS to win. The situation may be exactly the same, but the perspective the person has about the situation will influence his experience and chance of success.
Fearing to lose is focusing on a negative outcome, this creates more fear and anxiety than someone who focuses on having to win. For the person who HAS to win, while there is still an emotional investment, at least this person is focusing on a positive outcome. While this second person may still feel fear and anxiety they will be less intense due to his positive perspective.
So, perhaps your question is, how can someone who is afraid to lose change their attitude to HAS to win, or WILL win? Or even, I will do what it takes because it needs to be done, EVEN IF I LOSE!!!
The answer to this is a bit more complicated.
The basic attitudes we have as adults are mostly formulated by our up bringing with some influence by natural inclinations. Those who are abused, ridiculed, told they are worthless, and are ignored as a child tend to have more difficulty becoming successful in life. These people have more fears and anxieties due to growing up in a non-supportive, non-nurturing and relatively unsafe environment, meaning they do not feel safe or that their unique identity as an individual is not respected or nurtured.
However, there are those with an inherent fighter’s personality, that is their natural inclination. These types of people usually end up aggressive as adults and often do become successful at whatever they do because they refuse to be ground down. These people tend to overcompensate for what they didn’t get as children so even though they may be successful they may also be jerks!
Those who are of, let us say, gentler temperaments, who grow up in a non-supportive environment tend to be less confident in their attempts for success at anything. Even if they want to succeed they have a lot of fears and mental conditioning that interferes with their success.
The goal then becomes to break the negative conditioning that causes one to be fearful and less likely to succeed.
That is enough for now. If I am on track with this concerning your question let me know and I will be happy to continue. If I am misunderstanding you, feel free to correct my impression of what you are asking and I will try again.
Emotions and mastery
Emotions are a gift but at the same time they can be like the tail that wagged the dog. When we can learn to detach and not get caught up in the drama of the moment (or carry that drama around like a chain around out necks) then we can begin to live in the present.
There are many tools for learning to master the emotions. First is to recognize that how we respond in any situation is ultimately our choice. Then we can begin to detach. When someone attacks us it is not really about us. (Even though it is our challenge to respond). The cause of the attack is about them. When we can know this, then we can stop taking the triggers personally and we can begin to rewrite our habitual scripts.
Again, the fight or flight, fear or anger emotions are not within your ability to control. You can overcome them, but you can not control them in the least. There is a gland called the amygdola sp? or rather 2 of them deep inside the brain that controls this. You can alter it’s function with drugs or alcohol, which is why we see drunks so often wanting to fight. The glands range in size between individuals, and can also make an individuals fearlessness range as well. A big gland will make you more fearful than a smaller gland.
It is like doing something that you know full well can kill you. Some people simply will not do it for any reason and will scream and kick if you try to make them. On the other hand, someone else might thrive on this rush and are perfectly willing to do it. Like bunji jumping for instance.