Wow…You guys depress me, and now I doubt my art.
Well, not really. From time to time, seeing some of the intense discussions on the Internal arts, their effectiveness, and the diversity in schools I sometimes have to dig deep inside to hold it together. I begin to ask myself many questions. Why do I study? Why do any of us study?
Do any of you ever find yourself asking these questions? Really, this is a serious question.
I may never be an effective fighter. Do I need that as a goal? I may not have the most effective school or method. Do I need that as a goal? I have to dig deep inside to reinforce why I choose Bagua. Do you ever find yourself doing this when the slightest bit of self-doubt enters?
This is not about fighting, per se.
If you still practice at the age of 70, and never fight, spar, or have never even had to use your art for self-defense, will it have been worth it? Even if people say your art isn’t this or that? Even if your chen or yang or whatever style is berated (just an example)? Is it worht it? If so, why?
I dig deep to answer these questions. I know I will never be a great fighter. I know I will never be a good fighter. I know I never want to fight. Heck, it is my goal to never even have to use Bagua in a self-defense situation. Then why do I study? I have answered these questions for myself, and I do know why I study.
The boards can, on occasion, derail me from my path. Does this ever happen to you? …and do you know why you study? I’m sure you do.
“Deep down inside of all of us is the power to accomplish what we want to, if we’ll just stop looking elsewhere.”
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