A few months back, I watched a (non-WC) class in a local school. The teacher told his students that:
In the Old Days, martial artists would all start their practice wearing white belts.
After a few years of dedicated practice, the belts would turn black.
After a few more years, as the artist became more humble, their belt gradually faded back to white.
Is this the stupidest MA “legend” you’ve ever heard? If not, tell me yours.
I’ve heard this all at least once in my life from real people!
‘All you have to do is finger jab them in the eyes…’
‘My instructor has trained Navy SEALS/Special Forces…’
‘My instructor killed XXX number of people back in Vietnam’
‘95% of all fights go to the ground’
‘My style is too dangerous to <whatever>’
‘If someone took me to the ground, I would punch their groin, bite them, and poke their eyes out’
‘This is a Chinese martial art but we wear Karate uniforms because <whatever>’
‘Our lineage goes back to Shaolin and our Sifu is the XXX-th descendent of the Abbot’
‘Practice an internal style for 20 years and you will be deadly with your Qi’
‘That will cost you $ XXXX for each belt test.’
‘These contracts are for the convenience of our students.’
‘Martial arts are obsolete. If you want to defend yourself, just buy a gun.’
‘My lineage comes directly from XXXX and is the most complete/most direct/most secret/all of the above’
Dzu
Ha
Tears of laughter here.
If it wasn’t true, it wouldn’t be funny. One of my mates when I was a kid reckoned that only Japanese people needed MA’s to fight, to make up for the height difference 
“Karate” uniforms
Our school used to wear Tshirts with harem-style KF pants and sashes. Some brave, or foolhardy, souls used to wear kung-fu slippers as well.
We changed to medium weight Jiu Jitsu style gi’s with belts about two years ago.
Why? When your curriculum includes throws, takedowns and BJJ, getting a new T shirt every couple of sessions or so gets really expensive. I certainly wouldn’t want one of those Chinese jackets with frog buttons and nice white cuffs, I’d be forever sewing those little buttons back on.
As for “kung fu slippers”, IMHO these are impractical to the point of danger. William Cheung cited their slipperiness as the main reason for him faring so badly in the 1986 incident in Cologne. We could argue about that, but IMO these are the worst possible footwear for training with the possible exception of stilettos or roller blades. Bare feet or wrestling shoes are far more practical. Trainers are OK, though I don’t like the hard edge of the sole and extra padding affecting the mobility of my ankles.
I’m all for sticking with Chinese tradition where it is useful. But frog button jackets and kung fu slippers IMO belong on the rubbish heap.
Back to the orginal subject
I like the one about Bruce Lee supposedly ripping a guy’s heart out of his chest and showing it to him before he expired.
Another guy told me in all seriousness that it was possible to learn to break bricks in less than three months, but it damaged your hands so badly you’d never be able to pick up a pen and write again.
Um
There is some kind of local legend about Bruce around these parts. A friend I know [18, pretty clever] SWEARS BLIND that Bruce Lee died through electrocution. He reckons that he used to electrify himself to toughen his muscles and one day overdid it. Furthermore, he reckons that he rose from his grave, only to die on the pavement a few minutes later. I have shown him all the evidence in the world, and he still won’t cave. :rolleyes:
Anerlich - I like those cool KungFu uniforms, they’re so silky on the skin. Seriously though, if I’m just doing forms or striking, I prefer them. Gi’s [esp. heavy ones] can be too restrictive.
train in whatever is appropriate to what you are training. A silk suit and slippers doesn’t make you a gong fu practitioner 
We have a t-shirt, but just wear whatever else…
There is so much crap out there, i’ve heard the ‘black belt’ thingy as well. It helps illustrate the fact that the colour isn’t important etc. so serves it’s purpose. Luckily i’ve managed to avoid the places that say such things as others mentioned above.
Other things i find funny, is the whole ‘Chi’ nonsense. Some ppl just go way overboard with the whole ‘universal mystical energy’ bit!
but here’s a quote (paraphrased) that i actually like. From Gichin Funakoshi (creator of Shotokan). I can’t remember if it was from the books Karate-do Nyumon or Karate-do Kyohan…it’s in reference to vital points etc.
‘If you strike the body with a well trained fist/technique - any part of the body becomes a vital point’
you can’t say better than that!
david