jon,
Very good to hear from you again.
hehe I post often enough. Some take hours to put together. That includes thought and writing. I use some as learning tools. A summing up which leads to contribution. A wonderful thing is when someone else gives me insight. a concept, or just a word that helps me along my way. That’s great! The best is the good fellowship which results. 
Interesting. There’s pretending and there’s “pretending.” I’ll give a clear example. Let’s say there is someone in your immediate circle who you have to get along with. If not, you stand to lose another precious friendship. But, in truth, you cannot consider this person to be a friend, and harbor justifiable anger. What to do?
You can pretend to do an about face and be a friend, at the cost of self respect, and bearing the burden of burying feelings. You’re not doing anyone any favors.
There is a way to deal both with the reality of one’s feelings and with channelling them positively, with eyes wide open.
You reserve Friendship for true friends. But, Good Fellowship is extended to all.
The common ground for this is that we are human and have feelings and needs which are not identically expressed. The intent is for the best (open to dispute, but still a constructive attitude if the ears are not closed). To respect another person’s humanity goes a long way in alleviating the negative feelings one has towards a person, and allows one to maintain boundaries for whatever protection is necessary without feeling overly defensive or being responsible for the other person feeling so.
The “pretending” occurs while allowing one’s self to tolerate the other person. At first, it is role playing, and that is “pretending.” The interesting thing is that the pretense starts to melt away as acceptance is allowed to occur. One can maintain the same opinions, even negative ones, minus a lot of the emotionality.
The smile is sincere. Whatever meeting of the minds that can occur does. It’s a beginning. It sure beats the other way.
Some of the same reasoning can be used when dealing with what one might think of as a moron, or a lapse into the moronic. There are things to consider. First, being simple, even simple minded is okay, as is being a bright spot in the sky. (In fact, a blend of the two is marvelous.) Both can function perfectly well when there is humility and both are insufferable when there is none.
Bottom line is that if someone can say he doesn’t understand or can’t agree with my point of view, it’s covered. If someone is pushy with something I don’t agree with and the whole thing is open to debate, I can say “not for me” and quietly step to the side after making my points in a nonabrasive manner. (and I was Very abrasive at one time) There is no pretense, though, at the beginning, one might find that there will be pretending, role playing, until things fall into place.
Glad you’re okay. Good training!
Thanks. You see me as I am. I am, in heart, a watching dragon on a mountain top. Yet, the rock is plain. Somewhat below there is vegetation, starting with the mosses. Me? White, or black, or absorbing color, or transparent.
As of late. There was a death in the family. I’m dealing. Some of what I’ve written above is new or developing.
always delighted to talk to you,
Cody
