How women screw up the martial arts for us...

Wai Jia: The Kung Fu Forum Kung Fu Forum
1

Dragonzbane76 wrote: man you b!tch a lot. sure your not of the female gender? my wife doesn’t even b!tch that much.

**

This is not a thread about women in the martial arts and me not wanting to work with them. This is about how our women(mine anyway) have kept us from the martial arts. I was doing martial arts three nights a week(I have no kids) and she would used to complain, “You are going to class again? Do you like beating up people and getting beat up? It is kind of immature. We never spend time together anymore.”

This is where I made my mistake. I used logic. I pulled out a calendar and marked down the days and times we spent together and I thought, and hoped, that the sheer power of the information would blast her to reality. The reality was that we spend SO MUCH time together that I barely had time for martial arts let alone anything else.

My logic and evidence did not cow her at all actually. It enraged her even more.

Anyway, do any of the guys(and gals too) find similar situations happening in their homes?

2

I imagine it is much easier for guys who own a school.

I have to go to “work”, honey. After I am done working(secretly doing the awesome martial arts) we will see each other(though you might be sleeping).

That must be mint.

3

Your woman isn’t your woman, she’s your owner and you are her dog.

My wife is my wife. We make time for each other and recognize that we are not interested in the same things as each other.

She likes to watch Oprah, and I can’t stand Oprah and her emotional terrorism.

She likes to watch shows about fat chicks trying to ft into clothes that make them a little less fat and I can’t stand watching fat chicks lie to themselves and maintain their laziness while blaming their designer for not making them look thinner.

I like to do workouts in our gym, she likes to go for runs and hit the treadmill only.

I like to play music, she likes to listen to an iPod

I like over the top violent movies, she likes pukefests with Hugh Grant

and so on. But we share a lot as well.

My point is, you should both be partners, but at the same time self directed.
Your partner shouldn’t be and shouldn’t be allowed to tell you how to spend your time. Does she offer a substitute for that time? Consistently?

Do you even know your goals in your practice? If so, tell her what you are working towards.

common sense, it’s your friend in all areas of your life.

4

My sifu always stated that a Martial Artists worst enemy is NOT another MARTIAL ARTIST…but a Girlfriend or Wife. He’s lost many students cause their wives. I had an ex that told me “its either ME or your SIFU!!!” i just looked at her and asked her one question: "how long have i been with you? (two years). how long have i been with sifu? more than 20. NOW WHO DO YOU THINK I’M GOING TO CHOOSE?

5

[QUOTE=David Jamieson;1052528]Your woman isn’t your woman, she’s your owner and you are her dog.

My wife is my wife. We make time for each other and recognize that we are not interested in the same things as each other.

She likes to watch Oprah, and I can’t stand Oprah and her emotional terrorism.

She likes to watch shows about fat chicks trying to ft into clothes that make them a little less fat and I can’t stand watching fat chicks lie to themselves and maintain their laziness while blaming their designer for not making them look thinner.

I like to do workouts in our gym, she likes to go for runs and hit the treadmill only.

I like to play music, she likes to listen to an iPod

I like over the top violent movies, she likes pukefests with Hugh Grant

and so on. But we share a lot as well.

My point is, you should both be partners, but at the same time self directed.
Your partner shouldn’t be and shouldn’t be allowed to tell you how to spend your time. Does she offer a substitute for that time? Consistently?

Do you even know your goals in your practice? If so, tell her what you are working towards.

common sense, it’s your friend in all areas of your life.[/QUOTE]

You love to give advice and sound like a *****. YOu would be the first person to be moderated. LOL.

6

This is not a thread about women in the martial arts and me not wanting to work with them. This is about how our women(mine anyway) have kept us from the martial arts. I was doing martial arts three nights a week(I have no kids) and she would used to complain, "You are going to class again?

so when are you gonna tell us what kind of martial arts you practiced? :smiley:

7

[QUOTE=MysteriousPower;1052515]

Anyway, do any of the guys(and gals too) find similar situations happening in their homes?[/QUOTE]

I told you already, as you asked you fecking tard.

[QUOTE=MysteriousPower;1052533]You love to give advice and be a nasty moron. You would be the first person to be moderated. LOL.[/QUOTE]

You are a moron, you can’t even stay on topic, so, you’re an adhd moron on top of your basic moronic ways.

:rolleyes

8

it’s a give and take thing. The one thing I learned by being married was that you have to have a middle ground to come to.

my wife’s never tried to “moderate” my actions in any form. That’s why I love her. She lets me be who I am, and is content with it.

Yeah there are a lot of things we don’t agree on, I could add to the list DJ posted.

But again middle ground is what we come back to.

9

[QUOTE=hskwarrior;1052532]My sifu always stated that a Martial Artists worst enemy is NOT another MARTIAL ARTIST…but a Girlfriend or Wife. He’s lost many students cause their wives. I had an ex that told me “its either ME or your SIFU!!!” i just looked at her and asked her one question: "how long have i been with you? (two years). how long have i been with sifu? more than 20. NOW WHO DO YOU THINK I’M GOING TO CHOOSE?[/QUOTE]

My friend had this same situation happen to him! It is so funny. It never went that far with my situation. And for a while my friend gave in to his girlfriend until they broke up. I never gave in.

10

I’ve been married for 10 years, been with Lisa of 12 and never once has she ever said anything about the time I send in my MA.
Of course I spend more time with her than doing MA and I spend more time with the kids then doing MA.
MA is not the #1 priority in my life.
It was at one point but that was when I was single, when it was supposed to be a priority.
It comes after my kids, after my wife.

11

[QUOTE=sanjuro_ronin;1052545]I’ve been married for 10 years, been with Lisa of 12 and never once has she ever said anything about the time I send in my MA.
Of course I spend more time with her than doing MA and I spend more time with the kids then doing MA.
MA is not the #1 priority in my life.
It was at one point but that was when I was single, when it was supposed to be a priority.
It comes after my kids, after my wife.[/QUOTE]

You are lucky.

12

[QUOTE=MysteriousPower;1052546]You are lucky.[/QUOTE]

No.
Grown Up.

13

My friend had this same situation happen to him! It is so funny. It never went that far with my situation. And for a while my friend gave in to his girlfriend until they broke up. I never gave in

not supposed to give in. females should stop trying to control us with the pussie…they should respect your wants…and vice versa. except if one of her wants is for you to stop practicing martial arts and lay up snuggling up under her armpits.

14

[QUOTE=sanjuro_ronin;1052549]No.
Grown Up.[/QUOTE]

I have met many “grown up” men that have bad situations with their women. And it is not just martial arts. They cannot see their friends, etc.

They are all different ages so being a grown up has nothing to do with it.

15

[QUOTE=hskwarrior;1052550]not supposed to give in. females should stop trying to control us with the pussie…they should respect your wants…and vice versa. except if one of her wants is for you to stop practicing martial arts and lay up snuggling up under her armpits.[/QUOTE]

I used to have a problem with her going to clubs without me so it goes both ways. Eventually I did not care if she danced her butt off with other men hitting on her because I knew she would come home to me. She never eased up on the complaining to me about my life though.

Marry a woman with a job and a life. That is the best advice.

16

[QUOTE=David Jamieson;1052528]Your woman isn’t your woman, she’s your owner and you are her dog.

My wife is my wife. We make time for each other and recognize that we are not interested in the same things as each other.

She likes to watch Oprah, and I can’t stand Oprah and her emotional terrorism.

She likes to watch shows about fat chicks trying to ft into clothes that make them a little less fat and I can’t stand watching fat chicks lie to themselves and maintain their laziness while blaming their designer for not making them look thinner.

I like to do workouts in our gym, she likes to go for runs and hit the treadmill only.

I like to play music, she likes to listen to an iPod

I like over the top violent movies, she likes pukefests with Hugh Grant

and so on. But we share a lot as well.

My point is, you should both be partners, but at the same time self directed.
Your partner shouldn’t be and shouldn’t be allowed to tell you how to spend your time. Does she offer a substitute for that time? Consistently?

Do you even know your goals in your practice? If so, tell her what you are working towards.

common sense, it’s your friend in all areas of your life.[/QUOTE]

Couldn’t agree more about the Oprah opinion.

If you didn’t live thousands of miles away, I would swear we’re married to the same woman.

17

Marrying you probably put a cramp in her sucking d1cks in the alleys outside of clubs, so it goes both ways. Just sayin…

18

I used to have a problem with her going to clubs without me so it goes both ways. Eventually I did not care if she danced her butt off with other men hitting on her because I knew she would come home to me. She never eased up on the complaining to me about my life though.

Marry a woman with a job and a life. That is the best advice.

yeah we all have issues with that at times. but TRUST is a good thing. but like you said…she will come home and be READY TO PUT IT DOWN ON YOU…so you should be ready for HER.LOL…same goes for when they go to the strip clubs.

19

[QUOTE=MysteriousPower;1052554]I used to have a problem with her going to clubs without me so it goes both ways. Eventually I did not care if she danced her butt off with other men hitting on her because I knew she would come home to me. She never eased up on the complaining to me about my life though.

Marry a woman with a job and a life. That is the best advice.[/QUOTE]

the story of a man with no control.

smarten up. focus. YOU get the job, YOU get the life and don’t be so desperate for sage wisdom from someone you regard as a life support system for the vagina.

When you mature, you won’t date tramps and you won’t be such a disaffected punk yourself.

lucky for you, life brings change. and if you stay the same, you’ve wasted your life.

20

a few things:

  1. Any girl I’m with knows that I do this, and it is my life. They need to understand this going in. Make that a priority.
  2. Any relationship requires that you are able to retreat into a neutral corner.
    My parents were married for 50 yrs. Dad (RIP) had his boat, fishing, bowling, and his workshop. Mom had her Bridge club, Stock watchers club,and various things she did around the house. They both met on common ground-going out to dinner, socializing with other boaters, going on cruises, etc.
    Trust me, if you are joined at the hip, you will fail. Frustration turns to hostility.
    You need to respect each other’s space, and come together on common ground. Absinthe ..oops, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I was with a girl for ten years-she worked in the city, I ran my school. We saw each other at night when I came home, and on weekends-Saturdays, I taught until 2pm, then went to Sifu’s until 7ish. Then Saturday night we would go out. (Sometimes with Sifu and his wife and friends.) Sundays, if there wasn’t a seminar or a tournament, we’d do something.
We rarely fought.