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when you can’t hold your girlfriends hand without putting her in a wrist lock.
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when you do horse stance over the toilet bowl.
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when you can’t talk to anyone without inserting a quote from either the Tao de Ching or The Art of War.
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when you can’t walk down the street without analysing every oncoming pedestrians moves and stances…
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when you’re watching someone talking with sign language, and you start looking for the chin na applications…
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when you use a stapler as nunchaku, only to realize it as you hear a meaty ‘thunk’ from the palm of your hand.
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when you have a list of which power rangers you think you could beat in a fight.
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when you buy clothes with the expressed condition that you could fight in them. Makes it hard to buy a tux…
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when you inspect displays of kitchen knives for not only utility, but also their potential ease of use as “intruder deterrents”.
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when you refuse to use a TV remote when the end of the staff works just as well for channel changing.
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when you casually using your foot/toe to push the walk signal when you are carrying something and not understanding for a moment why everyone else is staring at you as if you’ve just grown another head.
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when you look at every person you pass on the street and think up the fastest and most efficient way to take them down.
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when you feel the urge to bow whenever you walk into a room.
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when you can kick light switches on and off.
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when you get angry and punch a wall…and damage it.
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whenever you pass something wooden, your fist clenches and you need to resist the urge to break it.
