Cody-
You’ve got a pretty good ‘bead’ on what I was writing. Only things to address:
Hen pecking has a comedic quality, up to the point where the guy gives lip service and does what he wants, only to have the sweet girl he married turn mean when she finds out and he’s full of guilt and takes his punishment. That’s one scenario where we can see why a man would take his punishment, and the woman’s response “has to do with making the other feel as miserable as they do.” Some people turn mean; some don’t. I find that interesting as well.
Yes- this shows up a lot. Where do you draw the line, though? When does it ‘turn mean’? I see this with children a lot… the parent tells the kid ‘you’re worthless, you’re stupid’. Is that joking or abuse? I say abuse… or at least abusIVE. That means I can begin to look for other patterns, other things that confirm or deny the abuse. This where you [general you] have the most leeway to intervene, even on your own behalf. If someone is abusive, this is where it starts- so stop it right there, if you can. If you can’t, then get away. If you can’t do that, say something to somebody until somebody listens.
All stuff they told me in 3rd grade…
Where is this setup for the modern day male? Men didn’t require a whole movement to get the vote and so forth. Their credibility was pretty much a given, with a disadvantage in custody issues. If people don’t believe the reports of abused husbands, it is not because of their lesser status, but because of disbelief of how this could have occurred (unthinkable).
Now, this is complex- partly because of different histories… this situation, as I outlined previous, is a new one.
Males don’t start with lesser percieved status, at least not within a family unit. Accusations of abuse, swearing out a warrant or protection order CAN, however, lessen whatever status the male has. Conversely [or perversely] a womans status can be raised by making the accusation, at least within very limited, specialized contexts.
In some ways, it depends on his role in the larger world. Having such a complaint can, and has, led to: firing, suspension from work, jail time, loss of access to children, loss of custody, loss of domicile, loss of property, monetary penalties, separation from family of origin [that is, the man’s mother, for instance, takes the ‘side’ of the woman], etc. All of this without a trial having yet taken place. Harsh.
Another thing: where are the ‘battered men’s shelters’? Clinics for treatment? Outreach by social workers saying ‘you don’t have to take it’? None of that- and men wouldn’t do it anyhow. What recourse is there? Thats why I’m saying its analogous to the situation [not status] of women in the 1950’s.
But anyhow, who’s complaining? 
It is a thankfully rarer event, just sticky when it happens.
