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Wai Jia: The Kung Fu Forum Kung Fu Forum
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Hey Guy’s. I’m in a funk and I need some help. Hopefully you all will be able to point me in the right direction and/or give me some encouragement.

Lately I have been really feeling down, my temper is really short I’m not enjoying training as much as I usually do. I’m not training anywhere as intense as I normally do. I’ve started playing video games (witch is a long story) but I know it’s due to my depressed state. I’m procrastinating when it comes time to train. My classes are lacking that certain energy that they once had. Most of the time I don’t even want to be there. My job situation is really a mess things aren’t working out as I had hoped with the Boxing club. Searching for a job in IT right now is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

So guy’s and gals if you have any words of encouragement or anything that might help me to get out of this funk I would be grateful.

Thanks in advance.

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Then you need to make a choice and only you know what that choice is. Until that choice is made you will be stuck where you are.

This can be undestood with this example: On a rainy day, you hold an umbrella above your head to shield you from the rain. Yet when the sun rises above once more, you continue to hold the umbrella, and only you can choose when it is the right time to lower it and look into the skies once more.

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Hi.

“Once you hit rock-bottom, you can only go sideways”.
Just kidding. :smiley:

The best advise I could give you of the bat, is take a breather from the normal things you do. Skip the training for a few days, go away for 2 or 3 Days.

The IT Industry at the moment is in shambles (tell me about it I am in it), and everybody is having a tough time.

As for the depression, shortness of temper and lack of energy.
Sounds like a good Chi-Massage or similar might help.

Not sure if this helps.

4

a small vacation like red said is a great idea.
try this: close your eyes and feel happy. picture being somewhere that makes you feel happy and at ease. for me it’s a field of green grass under a clear blue sun shining sky. just sit and FEEL happy. do it for 5 minutes or do it for an hour.
this stupidly simple exercise has gotten me through some crazy downtimes in my travels. that and also knowing that what goes up must come down and vice versa.
you could also dip to your local health food store and buy some st. john’s wort and/or kava kava. these could help. kava kava makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

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johnny,

take some joy in the fact that the rest of us care how you’re doin’.

as far as what to do, i think redfists is right – take some time off to pamper yourself there, tiger. but don’t do it all at once. take a couple three- or four-day weekends and disappear. go camping, etc. take a couple times to recharge – it won’t happen in one moment, so take care of yourself.

that, and mix up your training a bit. go practice on the beach, do stance work in the park, etc.

also, go have a few margaritas. life without them is meaningless, but life with them is fantastic.

-dave

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Hi JHS.

Here is one easy and quick method that I use to deal with stress and life matters.
Keep in mind that this is personal, but similar has been used by other people.

Working in IT, having a Wife and a small one, plus Training keeps me pretty much on my feet and the head spinning.

We have a tendency to build routines in our Life. Same Train, walk down the same road, same restaurants, blah, blah.

A good way of relaxing is to vary the routine. Go to a different class at your Kwoon if offered, see new Students,etc.

Walk down a different road and see what is in it.

Go to a new Coffee shop and hang out for 20 minutes and simply kick back and watch life’s passing parade.

Simply to small variations in your routine that might only take a few minutes. But don’t just stomp down that new road, but rather saunter down it looking for anything new and of interest.

The same way for me on the Weekend clocks don’t exist. sometimes I go for a stroll with teh Family and we leave all the watches behind. Food gets cosumed when hungry and when available.

Another thing that also helps, go with your instincts and desires.
Lets say you see an interesting little shop, pop in for a minute or 2 and check it out. If it is good and you don’t have time now to check in more detail come back later.
Also open your senses to your surroundings, and you might find a new world in your old one.

It works for me and my Family, maybe it works for you.

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Johnny Hot Shot,

You know, first thing first. You are not experiencing anything most or all of us here haven’t felt at one time or another or won’t slip into again at any given point, day, week, month…etc.

When I’m in a funk and it starts to get out of control, I start to analyse my feelings. Start to trace it back or working backwards through things that are only masking our troubles. It’s looking at why that particular emotion is active. If you are short with people (or is it one person in particular?), then when is it that you start to get mad? Is it around a certain topic? or does this person remind you of something or someone?

Perhaps the anger and the decrease is energy is caused by some incident you thought you were handling or over, but had only buried- those always resurface and usually harder the second time around than the first.

And always bare in mind that we are cyclical creatures. We do have ups and downs. Our doubts and insecurities will get the best of us and sometimes if it’s been a while, like I said…the second go 'round is harder than the first.

Your job is a mess, your martial training has failed to meet your expectations…are you single? So many things that can weigh us down at a moments notice.

Nothing is wrong with expressing your emotions, dude. It’s healthy to go witht he flow for a while, but when it starts to nudge you funny or you start thinking its really adversely affecting your daily living, then it’s time to grab an ounce of disipline and take control. You have to start conditioning the 'ol noodle into pushing through the greyness. Positive thoughts. Training can be a whole seperate issue, mind you. But set goals. Train your butt off for a good half-hour or 20 minutes, and if you dog it the rest of class, no more sweat than usual…you put in a great 20 minutes worth of effort. Each time you do that, your energy level will be caressed, and that’s a good thing. Sometimes the hardest thing is just getting to class, work, making that phone call, taking that risk…

I’ll bet you normally handle yourself well. Consider yourself level headed and capable. We all slide down the hill. So many variables without knowing. Try to ask yourself some questions on not so much ‘why’ you are feeling the way you are, that is simple, because we emote when the need is strong. Ask more along the lines of ‘what’ is it that is causing you to be this way. Write things down and work with, around, through, and over each thing that comes up. I’ll bet there is something more meaningful behind the initial reasoning.

You’re tired mentally. So emote for a while (depending on how long already) and start asking yourself some simple questions.

Good luck, dude.

nospam.
:cool:

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I hope you have patience to take all this info to heart, because everyone here seems to be giving good information.

I’ll will tell you how I see this.

If you are walking along a path and get a thorn in your foot, you shouldn’t keep walking. Changing your direction won’t help, and even backtracking to before the place where you stepped on the thorn won’t help.
You need to sit down and pull the thorn out of your foot before you can walk with less pain.

You can’t think of these things (short temper, procrastination, sorrow) as yourself. Your recgnition and dislike of these things means that they are not you. You need to remove them.

In these times, you need to do less. Don’t do this and don’t do that. Im not saying do nothing. I am saying to set aside anything unessential to your life until you work this out.
It is most important that you do not shame yourself for feeling this way.

I hope all this helps, and if it doesn’t, just make a thread on what a punk sevenstar is. :wink:
(I cant say for sure that he IS a punk, but that’s what I’ve heard)

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John,

I’m going through a “funk” of my own right now. I’m bored with almost all the girls I hang out with these days and date, don’t feel like I have any real conversation partners… looking for someone with some special values, but can’t seem to find it. A friend of a friend of mine seems to have what I’m looking for so far, but she’s half way across the world again… and I’m wondering why I always end up with that kind of thing.
I’m overly tired, angry at thing easier, and am getting annoyed at the outside world…

I agree a vacation is good. I’m going to take one myself this week. This whole week will be for me, no dating, no going out, just coming home, being by myself to think a little. No training either. I’m taking a break to think about things, and just relax.

You’ve got to figure out what it is that’s making you feel depressed, and why you’re feeling it. Do a little self-evaluation if you can.
Take some time for yourself to just be “still”
Then take the actions you need to start climbing over the hurdle in your way. :wink:

Ryu

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Hey Ryu.

The funk you got with the female part of the World sounds similar to my current training funk.

Recently the Students at my level have drastically decreased.

Where a few months ago I had atleast 5~6 fellow student at my level, now I often have to train solo or with 1 Student that is considerably lower than me.

Kinda frustrating, when I try to train 1 aspect of the form while being asked about things I learned 6~12 months ago.

Said that above me there is currently only 1 Student that trains regularly.
But than after about 2~3yrs I noticed most people quit our style as it starts getting too tough and they need to be really commited to continue.
So, it kinda gets tough to keep going as Sifu of course pushes me harder when I train alone which is now most of the time.

Wish I could swap classes as we got more students at my level in the later class. But alas circumstances don’t allow.

But anyway greatness awaits down the road. :rolleyes:

Have a good one.

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I would be glad if it was only myself and some other in training. I think I could learn stuff faster then. :slight_smile: It’s a good thing!!

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Hi Kristoffer.

Yes and no. Form work is fine as I do most of the serious study in the park on my own.
But when it gets to application and partner work it tends to hurt.

Seeya.

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Johnny,

Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt and set it ablaze.

Getting depressed every now and then is a part of life, unfortunate, but true and quite normal. What helps is to be ok with that. It’s ok to be depressed and to have not so good training days. It’s also ok to be jobless and be worried about that. It’s normal. There are millions of folks who share in your depression. It’s not that you’re not handling things well, it’s just that you’re human.

I don’t really have any suggestions because we all get depressed and think and analyse in different ways. I do like the suggestion of trying something new–a new coffee shop or something like that. Something to throw off the works.

I do sympathize and empathize with you on the jobless IT thing. All of us thought it would be the ultimate job security–everyone has computers. But, no one wants to spend the money to take care of them properly. That was a big let down for me. It just plain sucks.

Robin

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It’ll pass

Hey Johnny, just try to ride it out. I can’t give any better advice than what has been said already by redfist and others.

In my case it’s definatley the employment thing. I made 16% of what I made in 2000 this last year, my wife wants me to be Mr. Mom, but achieving pregnancy has been more difficult than I was lead to believe in Junior High.

Okay that’s two issues. If I have a bad day I try to ride that one out and resolve that the following day I’m going to suck it up and make it positive. This tends to work for me.

I really hope you can sort things out, just remember that tomorrow real does contain a whole new world of possibility.

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Note to Wu Wei. That’s one of the best analogies I’ve heard in years. Thank you very much!

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hey, can this turn into one of those threads where everyone posts their sob stories and then we decide who has the ****tiest life?

i will email you soon mate.

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didnt we already have one of those sharky? :slight_smile:

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You guy’s are the best

Thanks I feel better already;) Some what.

I trained for 3 hours last night, got really sweaty and tired felt much better.

On monster today there seems to be a few more job prospects. Things are looking up all over.

Thanks agian you all for the encouragement and support. You guy’s are #1

Being in a funk sucks. Nothing is good nothing is satisfying. Robin where did you get the T-shirt?

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As in everything, I believe that human emotion goes through cycles. The whole yin and yang thing. You just always need to remember that you are in a cycle, and that things will get better. There is no way around some things, as painful or pain in the arse as they may seem. Take your lumps, learn from them, benefit from them, and try to relax. My life has been up and down a lot. I just try to remember that things will be great again, and suck, and great, and hopefully more great.

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Actually, Johnny, I bought a plain t-shirt and painted “microsoft” on the back and “life can suck” on the front and burned it. It made me feel better.

Robin