Wallflower Plucking Techniques

[MightyB]

So how do you guys get the more passive / or ego involved people into sparring? Any suggestions?

By ego involved I mean people who let their own delusional self get in the way of sparring (senior students with a superiority complex but haven't developed the skills to back it up).

By passive, I mean peeps who are reluctant to spar because they're more into the philosophical LARPing aspects of TCMA.

[bawang]

you should not be training with them period

[David Jamieson]

Originally Posted by MightyB

So how do you guys get the more passive / or ego involved people into sparring? Any suggestions?

By ego involved I mean people who let their own delusional self get in the way of sparring (senior students with a superiority complex but haven't developed the skills to back it up).

By passive, I mean peeps who are reluctant to spar because they're more into the philosophical LARPing aspects of TCMA.

Start sparring with them.
Let them stay or go.

You can lead a horse to water and all that...

[bawang]

you need to confront them but not ridicule them or insult them. i never insult anyone in kung fu in real life even the crazy ones. i let them be happy and leave them alone.

[JamesC]

My wife used to train with me in muay thai and grappling. She's one of those people who never wanted to hit people when she was in the ring. She was in it mostly for the exercise.

It took one of the instructors about a week to finally get her to hit him hard. He'd fight with his lead hand down and his right hand pressed against his cheek. The other side of his cheek was against his shoulder. This is a pretty secure position.

When she finally did hit him hard, she broke his nose.

She doesn't let me forget that either. Sometimes she's bullies me by threatening to break my nose and perform monkey steals peach if I misbehave.

[-N-]

Originally Posted by bawang

you should not be training with them period

+1

Those people have zero interest in sparring. Why waste time with them?

[David Jamieson]

Originally Posted by -N-

+1

Those people have zero interest in sparring. Why waste time with them?

Because they came to learn and there will be parts of martial arts that are uncomfortable to learn.

So, if you undertake martial arts, it is always good to let any student know that they should get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

[JamesC]

Originally Posted by David Jamieson

Because they came to learn and there will be parts of martial arts that are uncomfortable to learn.

So, if you undertake martial arts, it is always good to let any student know that they should get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

This is true. That was the reason I went to an MMA gym in the first place. I was the skinny little kid that always got his ass kicked.

I made myself get used to being uncomfortable. I'm glad my instructors never gave up on me.

[-N-]

Originally Posted by David Jamieson

Because they came to learn and there will be parts of martial arts that are uncomfortable to learn.

They came to learn mystical philosophy and exotic culture. They came to "learn about" martial arts, not to learn martial arts. They can find another "school" that caters to that.

[David Jamieson]

Originally Posted by -N-

They came to learn mystical philosophy and exotic culture. They came to "learn about" martial arts, not to learn martial arts. They can find another "school" that caters to that.

That would depend on your skill to communicate the need for them to get real in your club. if they can't, they'll go away. I mean, that's what happens in my experience. I've seen my share of other students that do the dougie with revolving door grace....

[-N-]

Originally Posted by JamesC

This is true. That was the reason I went to an MMA gym in the first place. I was the skinny little kid that always got his ass kicked.

I made myself get used to being uncomfortable. I'm glad my instructors never gave up on me.

You went to learn to fight. Not to larp and philosophize. There's a difference.

[-N-]

Originally Posted by David Jamieson

That would depend on your skill to communicate the need for them to get real in your club.

That should be done before before they actually join.

[-N-]

Originally Posted by MightyB

So how do you guys get the more passive / or ego involved people into sparring? Any suggestions?

If they actually do want to learn to fight, but are just unsure or uncomfortable, just give them whatever basics to start. Then do a sparring exercise where they only have to attack, and you only defend.

Makes it feel safe for them, and they learn how to be aggressive. And they get to see how you deal with their attacks, so later on they have a goal to work towards.

[TenTigers]

you need to make sparring a win-win situation, non-threatening, so they always, or mostly have a positive experience, rather than just throwing them to the lions.
Bring them up gradually with sparring drills, and as their skill/confidence improves, you can up the intensity and use appropriate protective gear.
They may never be fighters, but they will be able to fight.
Not everybody is cut out to be a full-contact fighter. But mostly everybody can develop skills and improve their abilities.

let me say, that when I meant always having a positive experience, I meant that once they develop, and can go harder, even defeat becomes a learning experience, and their egos can handle it better.

Also, it is important not to pair them off with an azole. Egos need to be checked at he door. Nobody gets anything by being paired off with someone that is just going to beat the crap out of them. Then they quit, and they will never learn the skills they desired when they walked in.

[sanjuro_ronin]

My old boxing coach used to have as do a drill that helped not only with the passiveness but conditoning too.
The old time "slap drill".
One guy slaps the other.
You start on the gut and the arms and then, eventually, the face.
Not hard mind you, just enough to get the person to understand the shock of getting hit and how their bodies react to it.
of course we did this bare handed, LOL !
I suggest now with gloves:
One person gets into their fighting guard and the other drills them, arm, ribs, gut, head and face.
The defender gets used to getting hit and how to react and how to take it ( start slow and build up according to THIER comfort level) and how to move with it.