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#1
02-19-2003, 01:12 PM
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REAL Fight Stories
As a martial artist, my path is one of maintaining peace, but as we all know, sometimes “shiet happens” and we must utilize our well honed skills. Here’s an incident that happened last summer.
Kansas City, KS — South Mill Road projects in late August 2002 I was in Kansas visiting a Cousin. He had not come home from work yet, so his kids and I were tossing a football on their front lawn. It was then that I noticed two guys fast approaching. The older guy looked about my age, in his 20’s, and came right up to me. He said that the football belonged to his younger brother who was also present. I quickly justified that it must be a mistake, but the guy insisted that my cousin’s children had stolen it. I thought the situation was pretty ludicrous, afterall, we were arguing over a football. Needless to say, my blood was starting to boil as well. I told the guy that I wasn’t going to have this conversation and motioned for the children to go inside. Suddenly, the guy tackled me, but I twisted and pushed him away while getting scratched across the neck. Then the punk tried to box me from a safe distance, but I feinted a jab and threw a stepping side kick which landed on the guys arms as he folded them to protect his chest. I felt like I should have rushed him, but I decided to play it safe since he became hesitant. I threw a few low kicks to get his attention, then rushed forward with a straight lead which caught his ear as he turned away followed by a hard roundhouse kick which landed on his side and back. A loud voice caught my attention as I noticed that the other guy had returned with an older guy. The old guy came running while cussing like no tomorrow. He kept his distance but told me that he had just gotten out of prison. I was thinking, “is supposed to prevoke fear?” Then he darted towards me throwing wild punches. I jammed him with a stop kick and threw a wild left cross into his flinging arms. I caught one in the lip and forehead during the exchange. My legs left me as the first guy tackled me from the side. The old guy continuously kicked me as I was fighting off the younger guy. I managed to get on one knee, got up and clinched the old guy because he was standing, moved to his back and swung him into the house. I started chasing the other guy around... when suddenly, the old guy got up and apologized. He said he wanted me to teach him “karate.” I didn’t say anything, just went indoors to ice my lip and recover. The whole time, my cousin’s wife and kids were just watching... they told me afterwards, it looked very funny. Have any of you had to use your skills in a tussle? Just wondering?..
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Therefore the sage produces without possessing, Acts without expectations And accomplishes without abiding in his accomplishments. 
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#3
02-19-2003, 01:58 PM
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I'm just notta buying what your'a selling, partner.
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Your intelligence is surpassed only by your ignorance. You are more likely to fall down the stairs and break your neck if you live in a house with stairs. You are more likely to be in a car accident if you drive to work. You are more likely to be kicked in the nuts or punched in the nose if you practicing the martial arts. - Judge Pen
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#5
02-19-2003, 02:12 PM
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I was at this concert one night, GWAR if you must know, when I had to go to the bathroom (with a ll the beer I had drunk plus all teh blood and other bodily fluids flying from the stage it was hard to resist mother nature.) anyway I head into the bathroom and the place is eerily quiet and strangely abandon. Well, a couple of the stall doors fly open and with a poof of smoke I am suddenly ina fight for my life with midget ninjas, no lie. I figured they must have found out about my work with the FBI a few years back trying to uncover the midget conspiracy thing (don't ask, I don't know who you are and can't trust you anyway).
So there I am, wang in hand and the first ninja midget, from here on called NMs', flies at me with a pair, not one pair but two pairs of nunchaku. I did the only thing I could do, while holding my wang as steady as possible I spun in the air using little Red as a fulcrum point, I windmilled quickly and the NM practically bounced off of my rapidly spinning limbs, and fortunaly he was light enough I did not leak onto the floor or my pants. The second NM was much more cautious, and he had a boken (Don't ask me why, maybe steel was too heavy for the little guy) he feinted once or twice probably probing to see what my limits of maneuverability were, and they aren't much when you are taking a leak, let me tell you. Anyway, I am getting a little teary eyed, I had just finished the LOTR trilogy and couldn't help but think of them as little hobbits, and wasn't sure I could kill a hobbit if I had too. Well, he finally came at me swinging, he swung high, roughly about 3 inches over my knees, and I kicked my legs up onto the wall, I only had the one hand since the other was busy holding junior still, so I struck out with a knife hand hitting him in the eyes. I quickly cartwheeled, hardest thing I have ever had to do and pee at the same time without getting it all over myself, but I did it! I landed facing the trough still, and with my right foot ( and thanks to a few hours a day of my pelvis stretching routine (Elvis' last project before he died) I was able to axe kick him while shaking little Red off and zipping up my fly. I washed my hands of the little guys and just because its more sanitary after you go to the bathroom and returned to the concert. Good concert by the way.
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_______________ I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don't want to see you everyday.
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#6
02-19-2003, 02:12 PM
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I don't buy it for a couple reasons. First, I've seen nothing but troll posts from the starter of this thread, and therefore in my mind, the story is not coming from a credible source.
Based on the first reason, the story seems a little too neatly described and more of a scripted hollywood fight scene. I'm not saying that it couldn't have happened, I just don't believe that it happened as was described, and to the person that described it.
__________________
Your intelligence is surpassed only by your ignorance. You are more likely to fall down the stairs and break your neck if you live in a house with stairs. You are more likely to be in a car accident if you drive to work. You are more likely to be kicked in the nuts or punched in the nose if you practicing the martial arts. - Judge Pen
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#7
02-19-2003, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Your intelligence is surpassed only by your ignorance. You are more likely to fall down the stairs and break your neck if you live in a house with stairs. You are more likely to be in a car accident if you drive to work. You are more likely to be kicked in the nuts or punched in the nose if you practicing the martial arts. - Judge Pen
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#8
02-19-2003, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
If you're familiar with a clinch and a rear takedown, you'd understand what I did... You basically get to their back and sit down... in this case I spun him, it's not hard to do. And for all of you who believe otherwise, kicks work in real fights...
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Therefore the sage produces without possessing, Acts without expectations And accomplishes without abiding in his accomplishments. Last edited by Great Sage; 02-19-2003 at 02:26 PM.
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#9
02-19-2003, 02:28 PM
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gaddamit, red5angel, could you PLEASE stop telling ninja stories while I'm at work? I just sprayed Dunkie's coffee out of my nose.
Don't feel bad about killing the hobbits. Deep down, hobbits are little bas-tards.
__________________
There is a great streak of violence in every human being. If it is not channeled and understood, it will break out in war or in madness. ~Sam Peckinpah
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#10
02-19-2003, 02:34 PM
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I was in this bar dancing and I was trying to hit on this girl. I wasn't really making it obvious that I was trying to hit it, I just approached her and started dancing with or infront of her. Her boyfriend (i'm guessing) comes up to me and says a few words like, "hey how you doing." and starts slapping me around in the face.
After the 3rd little slap around, I did a straight punch hard to his chin and he went back. His buddy from the left looked at me all alert. I turned to him and he came at me with a right hook but i managed to get a right cross in first. Then I ran outta the bar. That was scary and pretty unpredictable. I mean...heck, all guys go to a bar to try to pick up on chicks right?
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#11
02-19-2003, 02:37 PM
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I saw something last friday. Not so much of a fight as a confrontation. I'm walking down the street and suddenly this big guy comes chasing after a smaller guy, punching him n stuff. The smaller one seems to have done something to upset the other and hardly fought back just tried to go away. Oh and he got kicked in the ass
 Kinda fun 2 watch
__________________
All right now, son, I want you to get a good night's rest. And remember, I could murder you while you sleep. Hey son, I bought you a puppy today after work. But then I killed it and ate it! Hahah, I´m just kidding. I would never buy you a puppy. "Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watch which Swatch watch?" "Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watch which Swatch watch switch?."
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#12
02-19-2003, 02:41 PM
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Re: REAL Fight Stories
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And then, your attackers, who outnumbered you and were the aggressors, politely apologized and asked for martial arts lessons? You, sir, are a blithering retard.
__________________
"hey pal, you wanna do the dance of destruction with the belle of the ball, just say the word." -apoweyn
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#13
02-19-2003, 02:41 PM
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Fights don't go any certain way. No 2 are ever the same. Like I said, I don't doubt that the story could have happened, I just don't believe it happened to you.
__________________
Your intelligence is surpassed only by your ignorance. You are more likely to fall down the stairs and break your neck if you live in a house with stairs. You are more likely to be in a car accident if you drive to work. You are more likely to be kicked in the nuts or punched in the nose if you practicing the martial arts. - Judge Pen
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#14
02-19-2003, 02:46 PM
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Well Exallace, when you as big a man as I am you have to downplay those things so you don't hurt others feelings...
 I would like to stand up for GS a second here and say taht sometimes if you nitpick about the description of the fight you might miss the point. For instance, the axe kick I delivered to the second NM. Now if you are standing in front of the trough (try this while you are at work by the way) and you need to sort of turn and axe kick a 3 ft opponent, if he were right behind you, this would be physically impossible. however I failed to mention that the NM was at a 45 degree angle to where I stood in front of the trough. That and the stretching routine I have been doing allowed me to perform what some would consider 'impossible" given the fact that I didn't "spill" anywhere.
__________________
_______________ I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don't want to see you everyday.
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#15
02-19-2003, 02:48 PM
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this one time at band camp...
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