MOM-FU

What My Mother Taught Me
>
> 1. My mother taught me
> TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE-
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside! I just
finished
>cleaning."
>
> 2. My mother taught me
> RELIGION-
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet!"
>
> 3. My mother taught me
> TIME TRAVEL-
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle of
>next week!"
>
> 4. My mother taught me
> LOGIC-
> "Because I said so, that's why!"
>
> 5. My mother taught me
> FORESIGHT-
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an
accident!"
>
> 6. My mother taught me
> IRONY-
> "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!"
>
> 7. My mother taught me
> OSMOSIS-
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
>
> 8. My mother taught me
> CONTORTIONISM-
> "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?!"
>
> 9. My mother taught me
> STAMINA-
> "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished!"
>
> 10. My mother taught me
> WEATHER-
> "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room!"
>
> 11. My mother taught me
> PHYSICS -
> "If I yelled at you because I saw a meteor coming toward you,
would you
>listen then?!"
>
> 12. My mother taught me
> HYPOCRISY-
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
exaggerate!"
>
> 13. My mother taught me
> THE CIRCLE OF LIFE-
> "I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"
>
> 14. My mother taught me
> BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION-
> "Stop acting like your father!"
>
> 15. My mother taught me
> ENVY-
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't
>have wonderful meals!"
>

___________________________

I can't stop laughing hehe
.