Kung fu poetry.. by me!

[morbicid]

I went for a jog and got closer to nature
I felt so inspired.. grabbed a pen and a paper

With all of the chaos, like Iraq, the Twin Towers
Its hard to stop and see the beauty of flowers

I see so much beauty in things that pass by me
And that includes kung fu, grappling, and tai chi.

Yes there's beauty all around
Beauty up , beauty down
But what am I saying, I sound like a clown

But that being said, keep this thought in your head:

You spend so much time practicing your art for a fight
That you dont see it's beauty at the end of the night

[ricksitterly]

That is so touching. You really have progressed... as a writer and as an individual ::cough::

[Souljah]

guess he's just trying to prove to everyone that he can talk sense...

[eulerfan]

This is a poem I wrote in High School about a popular, rich girl in one of my classes. I still remember it and it remains one of my favorites of the copious poetry I've written.


You tell me about facials
of banana cream

The way you flip your hair
makes me want to scream

Every day you *****
of how your maid makes your lunch

I don't care
go away

[Xebsball]

poetry?

"and then....

you die"

[dnc101]

I hate to say this, because I really dislike Brazilians ( :) ), but Xebs got you all beat here.

Other than a couple of limmericks, I only learned one poem in my life. It was by Keats-

A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote.
A journalist makes up his lies and grabs you by the throat.
So stay at home, and drink your beer, and let the neighbors vote.

I thought that was generally good advise.
An English prof that I used to argue politics with told me that Keats girlfriend was an IRA member who was killed by the Brits. It made him bitter towards politics.
And that, gentle readers, is about the summ total of my knowlege of poetry.

[dnc101]

ght,

I tried, but I gotta say that my contribution makes more sense. Unless your guy was a farmer. They need rain. They need chickens doin their thing. And they need a wheelbarrow to clean out the coop, the contents of which makes good fertilizer.

That was tough. I need a beer.

[Former castleva]

The most popular Japanese (haiku) poet wrote:
"Frog jumps into the sound of water".

[dnc101]

OK:
White is the pureity of a young child.
Red is the color of extreme emotion.
Rain water is symbolic of many tears.
The chickens continue to do their thing, as life goes on.
The childs wheelbarrow is a constant reminder of the lost loved one there by the chickens.
So much depends- life must go on even with the painful memories.

Mine was easier to understand, especially if you don't know the background. But yours is more touching. I'm going to get drunk now.

[eulerfan]

ght-

I love that poem. I love Williams. You ever read that one about dancing naked in front of the mirror late at night? Brilliant.

Anyhoo, I love this story. Williams and Eliot were both friends with Pound but they hated each other. I'm on Williams' side in this one. I find Eliot masturbatory. Anyway, Pound told Williams that Eliot would be visiting the States. Williams responded with something like, "Really? I'll have to kick him in the balls, if he has any."

[eulerfan]

Here it is. I misremembered. It's not night.

Danse Russe
William Carlos Williams


If when my wife is sleeping
and the baby and Kathleen
are sleeping
and the sun is a flame-white disc
in silken mists
above shining trees,-
if I in my north room
dance naked, grotesquely
before my mirror
waving my shirt round my head
and singing softly to myself:
"I am lonely, lonely,
I was born to be lonely,
I am best so!"
If I admire my arms, my face,
my shoulders, flanks, buttocks
against the yellow drawn shades,-

Who shall say I am not
the happy genius of my household?

[Xebsball]

"No Meio do Caminho"
by Carlos Drummond de Andrade


No meio do caminho tinha uma pedra
tinha uma pedra no mei do caminho
tinha uma pedra
no meio do caminho tinha uma pedra.

Nunca me esquecerei desse acontecimento
na vida de minhas retinas tão fatigadas.
Nunca me esquecerei que no meio do caminho
tinha uma pedra
Tinha uma pedra no meio do caminho
no meio do caminho tinha uma pedra.

[Chang Style Novice]

Morbicid, if your kungfu is as powerful as your poetry, look into getting a job as a plumber, or hanging sheetrock. One of the trades.

[Losttrak]

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest of these: It might have been..."

[Sho]

Furu ike ya,
Kawazu tobikomu,
Mizu no oto

[Sho]

"Inabikari"

Inabikari,
Ame ga furu furu,
Zubon nure

"Akagumo"

Aka gumo ya,
Happa ga tara tara,
Kaze no iki

[KC Elbows]

At least he had the cojones to put up something he wrote.:D


Let the punishment begin!!!


Spiddlydee and The Song of The Sea
by KC Elbows


When a song came a risin'
throught the streets of the town
the King stood up
and donning his crown
he filled the horizon
and raised up a question:
"What in the world could that awful sound be?"

So he stepped top his platform
and his slaves gathered round
and lift him on high
and carried him down
He shone forth like Saturn
and spotted the pattern
the people followed to the sad reverie.

The people were screaming
at the music they heard
and the king looked up
and said not a word
the ruler was gleaning the discordant singing
was Spiddlydee and The Song of The Sea!

Spiddlydee had a crab on his knee that clicked with crustacean grace.
The squid in his arms sang a damp squishy tune,
the percussion, a snail that was smashed with a mace,
and the jellyfish sizzled
on coals cooked slow,
and the crayfish dribbled
from a torture best not known,
and the shark whined and muttered,
while the sperm whale just blubbered
and over and above it's leviathan plea
Spiddlydee said "This is The Song of the Sea!"

Well the King raised up and said "How do you dare
to torture them all? Stop that now right there!
By my royal sceptor, you are but a jestor
who falls on his head and suffers from fleas."

Spiddlydee, once he'd heard, put an end to his tune
by smashing the crab with a large leaden spoon
He flipped the king the bird
and in a voice most absurd
said "Everyone's a ****ing critic."

[eulerfan]

Originally posted by KC Elbows
At least he had the cojones to put up something he wrote.:D



AHEM!!!!


:rolleyes:

[KC Elbows]

Will it never end?


Mrs. Obercrombiesteinenweaselsneed
by KC Elbows

Mrs. Obercrombiesteinenweaselsneed had pads of flesh, quite thick, upon her knees
and when the men came over
she would dance and sway and sneeze
then she'd build up quite a slaver
and she'd do just as she pleased
as the men they sat there laughing
as the men they drank their wine
shouted "Oh, Mrs. Obercrombiesneedenweaselstein!"

[KC Elbows]

I wasn't addressing that to you Euler, seeing as you did post your own thing.

[KC Elbows]

And probably don't have cojones to start with.

[KC Elbows]

I assume.

[eulerfan]

Yeah, but you could have said, "At least he and eulerfan had the cojones/reinforced-steel-uterine-walls to post his/her own stuff."



It just rolls off the tongue, don't it?

[KC Elbows]

Would steel curtains be acceptable?

[Former castleva]

"And probably don't have cojones to start with"

How does one know?
It is a public forum to start with.

[Braden]

Cahones:

my wandering step is broken
smitten by the dance of an autumn leaf
for fading goes the season's splendor
and in it's place, a muted grief
upon it's waltz a scent that lingers
whose breath had only passed it seems
blind longing through each time I waken
from joys that are now lost in dreams

[KC Elbows]

See, that's what the threads about: cojones, steel curtains, and the poetry of KFO.

In the spirit of Braden's.

Water that glistens
close to the sun
pines expire
outside.

[KC Elbows]

GH, You're not even trying.:D

Tai Chi Hippy
by KC Elbows

Sweaty stinky
need to trim my beard
can't make the headlice go away
moving the great cheeeee ball
until it bursts with patchouli power
I do not believe in push hands
because I perceive my cheeeee
yet young hippy girl giddy students may sleep with me
I am now.
Did anyone see my bag of okra?
Breathe.

[KC Elbows]

That's a keeper!

[ricksitterly]

There's obviously more to morbicid than one would think...
It seems he was able to read you all pretty well, you're suckers for poetry :)

[Chang Style Novice]

Hey, I've posted my paintings before.

[Serpent]

euler, love the one about the High School *****.

KC, you gotta a Dr Seuss kinda thing going on there. Song of the sea one was excellent.

This is reputedly one of the shortest poems ever written:


Apples
--------

Adam

Had 'em.



Can't remember the author. Sorry.

[Xebsball]

This one kids use to say:

Batatinha quando nasce
se esparrama pelo chão
Meniniha que namora
põe a mão no coração

means:

Little potato when is born
spreads itself on the ground
Little girl that dates
puts the hand on heart

[Serpent]

Let's write our own limerick. One line each.

I'll start with an easy one:

There was a young gal from Nantucket...

[Chang Style Novice]

Who sailed the wild seas in a bucket.

[Serpent]

And then on the horizon

[Chang Style Novice]

She suddenly spies him

[Xebsball]

His looks like Mike Tyson

[Chang Style Novice]

Not very familiar with limericks, are you Xeb?;)

[Xebsball]

i rhymed Tyson with horizon, that wrong :confused:

[Chang Style Novice]

Yeah, it is - The fifth line should have the same meter and rhyme as the first two. You want to rhyme with nantucket and bucket.

Here's your basic limerick model

There once was a man named Pelaire
Who was making sweet love on the stair
The bannister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid air.

The first second and fifth lines are either nine or eight syllables long, but all the same length. They either go

ba da BUM ba da BUM ba da BUM
or
da BUM ba da BUM ba da BUM

the third and fourth lines are either six or five syllables. nine goes with six, eight goes with five.

ba da BUM ba da BUM
or
da BUM ba da BUM.

I posted an eight and five model above - here's a nine and six

Little Zooks of whom no one was fond
Was shot towards the roof and beyond
The infant's trajectory (this line cheats a bit - say trajectry)
Went over the rectory (likewise here)
And into a lily choked pond

subject matter is usually lewd or morbid. funny is preferred.

[Xebsball]

oh mkay "big bada bum"

[Chang Style Novice]

Hey, I don't make the rules. I just enforce 'em.

I'll need to see your poetic license, sir, and if it's expired we're going downtown so you can tell it to the judge.

[Chang Style Novice]

Internal styles get no respect
Hippies is the most you expect
When you hear Tai Chi
Ba Gua or Xing Yi
But some guys will straight break your neck.

There once was a wog called Da Mo
He journeyed far west just to show
The monks of Shaolin
To throw down and win
By learning what animals know

And now one for the groundfighters

There was a brazilian named Gracie
Who learned to fight the gentle way, see?
He took on all comers
Even the eye-thumbers
Although he was small weak and pasty.

[Serpent]

Originally posted by Chang Style Novice
There once was a man named Pelaire
Who was making sweet love on the stair
The bannister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid air.


LOL. I like that one!

:D

[Chang Style Novice]

It's a classic alright. I don't think anyone knows who the original author is.

"Little Zooks" is by Edward Gorey - the kung fu ones are my own.

Such as they are. I suppose Master Tu would be an ideal subject for a limerick. Let's see what I can manage...

[Serpent]

OK people, CSN has established the accepted law of limerick making and there can be no doubts.

Anyone straying from this model will now been summarily executed with no need for trial or consideration of mitigating circumstances.

Anyone aiding and abetting a limerick corruptor will be repeatedly beaten until they cry out "UNCLE" during the recitation of a correct limerick.

Anyone known to be harbouring a limerick corruptor will be "bombed back to the stone age", possibly with the use of tactical nukes, and we reserve the right to pre-emptively strike anyone that appears to preparing to think about writing a limerick that doesn't agree with the model that we have deemed universally as the only acceptable limerick format, cultural or artistic interpretation being irrelevant in our eyes.

We are Borg.

Now, let's all have fun, ok?

Come on! Right now!

;)

[Chang Style Novice]

Buy a tape from the martial arts mart (http://www.martialartsmart.com)
And witness Master Tu's stunning art
There's not many who do
What Tu can do, can you?
For he tows a truck with his male part

[Serpent]

Regarding Master Tu, how's this?

The was a great Master named Tu
Who said, "I can sure impress you!"
And so very slick
He pulled a truck with his ****
Which is a funny old way to save fuel.

:)

[Serpent]

Ha, Chang! We posted together!

[Chang Style Novice]

I noticed!

[morbicid]

I may as well post this here as well... just to make sure all who visit fear the name of APPLE MAN!!! If I can dig up Apple Man part 1 I'll post it later but I dont think I have it anymore.

The following story is the sequel to Apple Man, which I wrote for English class in high school.



This is a story of John Winnerstead
And a dream that he had after going to bed

That day was quite normal, and John worked quite hard
Doing various chores in his little back yard
It was a beautiful day, with birds singing pretty
It was nice living so far away from the city

The trees were in bloom, and the animals played
As John made a mastermind plot to get laid
But nevermind thoughts of behaving bad
For Mistreating others leaves hearts feeling sad

So John just stayed home, on his only day off
He ate apples and french fries then quickly dozed off

Before I continue… please make the room quiet
Now scream aloud “John has an unbalanced diet!”
This is a fact that will help to explain
Why john’s little dream becomes filled with such pain

The dream unfolds quickly, and john is surrounded. By women with uzis, and John’s getting pounded. Getting kicked in the ribs as John tries and crawls, but one of them runs up and drop kicks johns balls. John screams and he asks them “Just what have I done?”, but the women tell john that they’re just having fun.

The leader of the women with uzi’s gang approaches john slowly. She’s wearing a dress made out of… lawn mulch? How can this be real? For some reason they all look like my neightbor Julie. “ HEY!!” She suddenly screams. Think in rhymes you scandelous b@stard!

Her uzi transforms to a new machanism
“ It vibrates so we can get some of your… stuff!”

What stuff do I have that would meet your demands?
Her reply was to run up and pull down johns pants!

The leader holds on to her vibrating toy
And she does dirty things to our own Johnny Boy!
Your eyes might go blind if you only had seen this
She put the contraption on john’s little … SUDDENLY SOMEONE SMASHES INTO THE DREAM!!!


Emerging from a frying pan… Look out kids, it’s Apple Man!!!!
An apple for a body , two french fries for arms
The women go crazy and sound the alarms
Their vibrating uzis are of little use, for they would need BULLETS to spill Apple’s juice.
He is just an apple, a small little fruit. But you’ve no idea what apples can do.
Others mistake him for a harlmess fruit snack
But this little one knows kung fu and smokes crack!
Apple’s cold blooded, busts caps all the time
If you go near his b!tches he’ll pull out his nine


The women with uzis were terrified, their luscious breasts dangled nervously and their lawn mulch clothing left little to the imagination. But their importance to John’s dream faded, therefore they simply faded away. Just Apple and John now.

The setting changed quickly, from a desolate field
To a strip club where apple man can cop a feel
With a maniacal yell, using fruit vocal cords
Apple man jumped out with two ninja swords
John swiftly dodged left and then swiftly dodged right
But this is one apple you just shouldn’t fight

Though Johnny was smart and remarkably fast
He still got a sword and a shoes up his as$
He lay there with pain shooting through his rear end. Thinking how could an apple bring me to an end. But suddenly john blacks out, enter the stranger. The inner demon of Johnny’s furious anger. Johnny jumped up, pulled the sword from his ass, and he screamed aloud “Apple man your ass is grass!”

“Die you little apple B@stard!! Die!!! I’m going to smash your apply organs to a bloody pulp and rip your f***ing guts out!!” In the midst of John releasing his inner rage, he finds that he’s screaming alone on the stage.
The gawkers do glare and the strippers do stare at this strange little man with smashed fruit in his hair. Apparently Johnny did go out that night, to a strip club with boobies and a$ses real tight. It is known to these people that from time to time, if this man drinks too much he loses his mind. But he was so happy and filled with such cheer. So what could it hurt to give him one more beer?

[Serpent]

Sorry, that's not a limerick. We're gonna have to nuke you.

[Chang Style Novice]

Well, the scansion is pretty good, even if the subject matter is about as elevated as we've learned to expect from Morby.

On the other hand, it's not like I don't have 2300 or so posts of mostly useless gabbery. They tend to be shorter than that mess, though.

[Serpent]

What's better? Lots of little posts of kak or one long one?

I'm a fan of the multiple short posts myself.

Obviously.

[morbicid]

"Sorry, that's not a limerick. We're gonna have to nuke you." - Serpent



Um.... hey I started this little poetry corner!! Who said you guys could step in and give it rules :)

[Serpent]

Age, experience, totalitarian rule.

Take us on if you think you're up to it.

[ricksitterly]

u should write a poem about missing socks morbicid